sundries

[rm]

Oh there are new Torchwood promo pictures in Gay Times, and they are happy-making. If you care, you've probably already seen them.

I've had a couple of conversations that have almost been awful but have turned out well in the end about how to be a good LGBTQ ally over the last couple of days. I've never had to do that before in the "no, you don't get a cookie" and "please don't police our emotional responses to discrimination" sense. Interesting stuff which leads me to say if I've ever been the person who needed the wack with the clue-by-four when it comes to stuff about being anti-racist and trying to be an ally to PoC: thank you for your patience (and sorry that you needed it). I have a whole new perspective now. This shit wore me down in about ten minutes. Oh my god. (But seriously, props to the people I had those LGBTQ conversations with.)

I'm working about a thing about prop 8, that's also very much about female identity/autonomy/signifiers of adulthood/ownership. I'm not sure if it's going to come together or not. I want it to, I'm really happy with the idea of it, but it's probably the most convoluted interlacing of topics I've tried I a while.

My gorgeous white gown will be here probably Friday. But I probably won't be wearing it out this weekend, as I should wear suit to Duchess thing.

Patty is awesome. She will also be home Monday.

I've had 4 hours of sleep thanks to work gone wrong. I don't even want to discuss the condition I'm in right now.

No specific garden updates, but everything is continuing to do well. Actually, I'm realizing it's wednesday and 3pm, I should actually go buy the other planned plants.

Oh yes, and I forgot to mention, laurab1 made fanart for my TW fic "Because Men Once Went West." Snazzy.

Did you all know there is a sequel to The Vintner's Luck coming out? I've pre-ordered my copy.

Comments

[rm.livejournal.com]

I sort of want to say gender is not entirely a social construct. What I mean, of course, from a science perspective, is that sex is not entirely a social construct -- otherwise we wouldn't have trans people.

Studies also seem to make it pretty clear that most women are more verbally-oriented than men, regardless of how they are educated or raised. Women can and do catch up to men in math and the sciences, but it seems to happen less frequently that men catch up to women in verbal arts.

I also have to say the the physical size/strength difference between men and women is a real, serious thing. As much as a good fencer of any size, gender and weight can take down a larger, stronger opponent, that is the exception to the rule. A small woman with a black belt in karate is still at a serious and dangerous disadvantage to most men in a fight. I'm a pretty small person, and there are men I am taller, bigger and stronger than. But at the end of the day, no matter how well trained I am, I don't want to be in a fight with a man; the odds are seriously bad.

Now, all of that said, most gender differences are bullshit, and none of them are truly universal.

You treat people they way they want to be treated. The problem, of course, is that it's hard for most people, and especially parents, to treat a child based on who it is, versus what it is.

I don't think there's anyway way to say succinctly what you want to say here, because it is a complex issue. Perhaps, argue on the basis of "don't make assumptions" and the idea that every parent wants their child to be exceptional. Maybe their kid will be the exception to the "rules".

It's really painful to be a queer kid (and a lot of kids know really young, even if they don't have words for how they are different) and be told that you're not allowed to like certain things or want certain careers or excel at certain classes. Maybe just tell your friend that kids can surprise you, so it's best to give them a chance to.

[woogledesigns.livejournal.com]

Yes, I get that there are born physiological and anatomical differences between people. And that you can pretty evenly divide the human population by the reproductive organs. And that along with their reproductive organs there may be complexes of, really pretty minor, differences in aptitudes in difference skills (which may or may not be socially imposed and encouraged, according to Baron-Cohen).

But the level of meaning and symbolic relations given to those differences are entirely socially constructed. This should be obvious- there is no other means of production for levels of meaning and symbolic relationships, after all.

so...
What if everybody under a certain height had to use a different bathroom(toilet here in the UK)?
What if everybody with an optimum average muscle strength of a certain amount of newtons was expected to choose clothes from a selections of certain cuts, colours and tones?
What if everybody with green eyes was expected to show more skin in their dress choices than everybody else?

It sound ridiculous, and yet those are the kinds of expectations that parents will put on their kids, without even realising that it might be quite unnecessary and unjust.

So really, aside from (perhaps) contact sports, how is it okay to treat a child differently rather based on their cisgender?