sundries

[rm]

Last night I received a brief Facebook note from a woman I attended a dance camp with as a child. It had a lovely cadence to it, that really captured the feeling of the way we are fond of the past, but also sealed off from it -- This must be the only Racheline I ever knew.

It took me a long time to summon up the memory of her -- the face is hazy, possibly mixed with that of another girl, but I remember and outfit of hers, and I'll have to ask about random details of social interactions she may too not remember clearly to be sure of who she is. But if I'm correct, she's the one who got me to read The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. She was terribly worldly, and we were, I guess about 12?

Regardless, I found myself moved by it, but also confronted with an internal awkwardness that is new to me and exists particularly when interacting with people from my childhood. Being told I looked male was a way other girls told me I was ugly growing up -- in largely female circles, as all of my childhood was, this is a common way in which women police each other normativity. I don't recall any such behavior from this woman, nor do I even recall any of it happening in her presence, but I am still left with this visceral feeling of nervousness and instinct to be apologetic or justifying the fact that I'm using a (still need an adjective -- butch? masculine? cross-dressed? androgynous? genderqueer?) photo of me on Facebook right now.

Of course, she probably doesn't care particularly. Her recollection of me was of interest enough that she sent me a note and asked how I was. It's really so simple: all I have to do is respond.

Aphid Attack Action is live. Man, those little fuckers are everywhere. Soapy water. Lots of soapy water.

Meanwhile, one of the little stalks with a tiny tiny pepper snapped off. So we're down to the large growing pepper, and the two tiny peppers that I don't know if they are going to get bigger -- and many many other flowers that could turn into peppers. I suspect the pepper loss is either a lack of sun for the plant to support that much fruit or a bird attack. Gardening is hard.

Lots of emerging tomatoes -- I'll count soon. Also, new buds on the zebra. Hopefully these will be inclined to become tomatoes. The last died before opening, although the plant is very healthy.

Patty and I are seeing the Coraline musical tonight.

Comments

[hyrkanian.livejournal.com]

Facebook has been a strange experience for me. I have people on there from poly, BDSM, GLBT etc., communities. I have people I went to high school with, most of whom wouldn't give me the time of day back then but are all *hugs* & *love ya* now. Also those same people are almost all now devout Christian, when I last recall them being all sex, drugs & rock n' roll. I have my high school debate coach, who was and still is one of the funniest people I've ever known. And is the first teacher I recall being unashamedly gay. I have a guy who I was in Gifted Program classes with in fourth and fifth grade. The one I walked in on while he was taking a leak because he didn't lock the bathroom door. And the guy I hit in the face with a library hardcover copy of Gone With the Wind in 6th grade, because he sat down beside me and put his arm around me and leaned in like he was going to kiss me. Found him as well.

I have the preacher from the first church I attended, and both his kids. I have my first Sunday school teacher, and one of her kids. I have cousins, aunts, parents, in-laws on there. Recently I found one of my old penpals from my pre-high school days (you know in the Stone Age/pre-Internet days) because she has a very memorable maiden name.

I've really come to like Facebook now that I've actually started paying attention to it, but it has been quite the... interesting experience.

[abnormal-apathy.livejournal.com]

I too have had this simiar Facebook experience...though for me it is sometimes also awkward...and I haven't quite figured out the filters yet.