Pride

[rm]

Pride was awesome. We're tired from too much sun and too much dancing on concrete, but it was awesome. We planned well, we ate good food after, and Patty cracked me up, wearing a sticker she got from the Bears and saying, with great frequency "I'm a bear, grrr." This entertained not just me, but also pretty much everyone we interacted with, including the clerk at Trader Joe's.

I did note that the groups that were massive in the parade maybe a decade ago, barely seemed to exist now. The Bears numbered about twenty, the Leather Men were even fewer; in the parade of various religions, I didn't even see a pagan group (unless you count Radical Faeries) and the poly group was tiny. We didn't stay to the end, so maybe we missed certain groups, but it felt like everyone had dispersed into political causes this year, which isn't a bad thing. But it was the first time since the late-80s and early-90s, when the parade was so about the AIDS crisis, that it felt quite like this.

There were levels on which I was glad for the politics. But I did also miss the level of hot, mostly naked making out I remembered from the last couple of years. Which brings me to another point: way more sexual displays from lesbian floats this year, which I also liked, as I really do have a problem with this idea both from within and without the gay community that men party and are hot and women doing politics and scold.

There were also larger and more vocal transpeople groups this year.

General notes -- if you're representing something really specific with a small group, dress well! Choose clothes that fit you! They don't have to be formal or expensive, but man, the amount of slovenly stuff I saw on people who would have no problem finding affordable off-the-rack clothes that would fit them well and represent their thing (butches, I'm looking at you) MADE ME CRAZY.

At the dance, it rained right before we got there, and there was an actual massive rainbow in the skyline! The music wasn't my thing (not because it was modern, but because it was more hiphop than I can really get into), but it was still good to move, and I danced like a lunatic to a ridiculous mix of Michael Jackson stuff, not because I particularly liked it, but because it was familiar and easy.

Patty, btw, is ridiculously hot on the dance floor.

Comments

[firinel.livejournal.com]

I think part of that is also that well fitting = difficult to buy for some.

And I'm not sure how you meant "uncomfortable in one's body"; if you mean "they don't like the way they look" in a general sense that most people deal with, or "the shape of their body makes them uncomfortable". If I wore "well fitting" clothing, my bust/waist ratio would be highlighted in such a way that people interact with me as if I were ultra-feminine. In fact, I've been wearing clothing that fits me better lately and I've noticed that people don't just act differently, they actually identify me as being feminine. I, personally, hate that. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with my body. I love it, I take it to the nude beach frequently. But I don't want others to impinge on my self-identity because of it, either. :/

I'm curious, rm, if you've any suggestions for that sort of situation.

[miep.livejournal.com]

oh definitely the latter, though I can see how the comment I made after that would have confused the issue, and I think it could be a bit of both.

[rm.livejournal.com]

My biggest peeve is about how things don't fit in the shoulders. Men in New York do this too. The seam of a shirt-sleeve should be at or near the shoulder. It shouldn't be dropping half-way down the arm. And if you need to get a bigger size to accomodate your bust (either because you do or don't want to show it off) it's one of those things that can be fixed at a tailor for not a great deal of money -- I realize that "not a great deal of money" is still a great deal of money for many people, but not EVERY SINGLE PERSON I saw with this particular clothing flaw.

Similarly, if it makes your sleeves too long (short sleeve shirts shouldn't be hanging past the elbow) or the body of the shirt too long -- if you can afford to get it fixed, get it fixed. No one bothers to get alterations anymore, even people who can easily afford it, and it drives me fucking nuts.

Clothes don't have to be body-hugging to fit well, and believe me, I get how hard it is to get a female form to look masculine because of all sorts of ratios -- and I've got it easier than most. But the swimming in dad's clothes look really isn't doing anyone any favors, and it's more easily avoidable than people think.

[gement.livejournal.com]

I gotta say, I struggle with a lack of clothing literacy, and the urge to run screaming from the whole hairy subject grows even stronger when I'm in guy brain.

I've managed once to entrust pants to a tailor to have them hemmed up, and it took nearly literal hand-holding from a partner because it was scary for me. Different class background. I have a whole laundry basket of stuff that needs mended/tailored. I don't mend or tailor, so it sits. But the idea of going to some random dry cleaner and asking them to do it either feels wasteful or gives me the class-based heebie jeebies.

So, while I appreciate that they might make for better photo ops if they had Queer Eye smack them around first, seeing people in the parade that aren't well-tailored might be welcoming to people like, well, me.

(I know, this is about your general pet peeve of people not knowing how to deal with clothes. Guilty as charged!)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Well, if it helps at all, I don't blame people for not knowing -- it's lost cultural knowledge, especially for people that don't live in New York or other cities where every block there's a drycleaner with a sign in the windowing saying "alterations and tailoring" just begging someone to ask questions.

A lot of this stuff freaks me out too, but largely because I know the rules and the tailors know the rules, and then I come in and ask for things that would make perfect sense -- if I had a man in tow.

I also think a lot of my knowledge of this stuff doesn't come from class backgorund (although that's some of it), but the fact that growing up a dancer, I was a mimic -- "how do I make my body look like that?" and when it wasn't steps, it was clothes, so I studied the details, often compulsively.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

There is a butch woman at another site of my company (well, since I know her only in a work context we don't discuss identity issues - but I've met her 'roommate' who is pretty clearly her partner and she dresses and presents in a very identifiably butch style). In a recent photo celebrating a group project she was on, she wore a suit that was *so great* that I emailed to compliment her on it, and so great on her that I remember it and wanted to comment on it now. Taupe (a color I'd never be able to wear) and she sparked it with a deep pink shirt that was really unexpected and a great contrast with her manly hairstyle. And it was definitely shaped like a men's suit, not a women's. I guess I'd never really thought of butch women in context of stylish dressing until then, and that suit really delivered an education all by itself.

Also, definitely harder outside New York. When I lived in the Phoenix area I just literally didn't know where to go for anything more complex than hemming. (I live in Taipei now and have just had four shirts and a dress made for me! I'm very excited about this and am considering going back for more.)