PSA, both general and specific

[rm]

Okay on my journal: anger and disagreement. Not okay on my journal: threats of physical violence, toward anyone in any way that is the least bit possibly Not a Joke.

I am more discreet than you often realize about people I have social and professional relationships with.

When you slag viciously on famous creative people: writers and actors, it bothers the fuck out of me --- sometimes as a decent human being, sometimes as a storyteller and sometimes because I know these people! Yeah, really. And while I seem to be saying this in regard to the Torchwood fuckery going on; it's actually that the Torchwood fuckery reminds me of all the times people have done this shit about other, non-Whoniverse people with whom I do have more than passing social relationships and go for drinks with and talk about real, actual life with, and I've more or less said not a damn thing, because my life is less drama if y'all don't know who I know. But seriously, think the fuck twice. I'm surely not the only person in this position.

Be a critic, be a harsh one (lord knows I am) but don't be arbitrarily cruel.

Which means the misogyny? the threats of violence? the nasty remarks about people's partners famous and not? Are really not welcome here.

Sometimes we say unkind, gossipy shit. I am so not immune to this it's not even funny, but I try, and I'm asking you to try, and if you can't contain it, I'm asking you not to do it here, because I'm sick of having to say nothing when you talk about who you want to punch in the face or whose girlfriend you think is a slut.

Comments

[pandarus.livejournal.com]

Hi! You don't know me from Adam, and I can't actually remember when it was that somebody linked me to one of your posts and I thought: "Interesting person - add to friendslist*" - but, um, hi. This is me delurking to say: "What the fucking fuck?" Which is, I'll grant you, a trifle impolite of me, as an opening gambit, but - good LORD.

"Which means the misogyny? the threats of violence? the nasty remarks about people's partners famous and not? Are really not welcome here.
"

???!!!

I'm so sorry to hear that you're getting that kind of nastiness impinging on your online interactions. The frail vehicle of the English language is inadequate to expressing how VERY little truck I have with this nonsense.

Do not want.

(*I am of the mindset that mentally replaces 'friend' with 'reading' in the term 'friendslist' - I tend not to do that whole formal introduction thing if reading someone's LJ, or to expect people to ask permission/have to introduce themselves if they're reading my LJ. But I realise that the etiquette varies, and I hope this doesn't strike you as inappropriately forward. Your journal is interesting and articulate and it tickled my fancy. Plus - Torchwood!)

[njc2007.livejournal.com]

I'm all with you on this.

I guess some people didn't listen when Mom told them, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Of course, that doesn't mean we can't be critics...just keep the mud-slinging, threats and personal slagging to a minimum.

After reading your comments, I'm really looking forward to watching CoE; but I've only just finished the first three episodes of Torchwood. Still have a lot to watch before I can get the CoE.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Thank you. For reals.

[rm.livejournal.com]

You do. Um, hold on tight -- the first two seasons are pretty erratic, but when it's great, it's great. Also have you watched Doctor Who or do you need the "episodes you have to watch between TW seasons 1 and 2 to make things make sense" guide?

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. The internet's sufficiently full of degrees of separation (the more so now everyone seems to be following everyone on Twitter) that arbitrary cruelty is particularly poisonous.

it should be "discreet" rather than "discrete" on the second line, I think, just fyi.

[vampry.livejournal.com]

I've only seen the first three"days" of CoE but I don't get where this is coming from. OTOH, this is the first I've heard of Torchwood fuckery.

Color me not surprised though.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thanks -- left hand types faster than teh right, hence that always happens.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Day 4 is some of the best TV I've ever seen. But it's... exhausting.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Wow, seriously?!

I haven't been reading discussion or spoilers of any kind as I'm getting all five eps over the weekend.

What is this fuckery? I'm sorry you've had to deal with this in your space.

Which means the misogyny? the threats of violence? the nasty remarks about people's partners famous and not? Are really not welcome here.
Crikey... in some ways I'm glad I'm behind everyone else in this, if this is gut reaction to the eps.

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

Um, actually, I would like this list, even though I've already watched both seasons of Torchwood.

Coming into TW solely because James Marsters was going to be doing a guest star, I knew very little about Dr. Who (beyond some of the very basics; you can't be a geek for 20+ years and not pick up some stuff through osmosis! ;-p) and knew there would be "things I just wouldn't get".

Luckily, I started at the beginning and was crazy hooked after the first season, first ep. ;-p

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

I am of the mindset that mentally replaces 'friend' with 'reading' in the term 'friendslist'

Me too! (I was rather glad when Dreamwidth changed the naming convention from "friends list" to "reading circle".)

[unicursal.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I know a lot of people in the entertainment industry - comics, television, music - they are all intertwined these days.

Critique the art, not the artist.

[xpenclickerredx.livejournal.com]

FUCK, its absurd this is even a problem. People, don't get violent over fucking art. MY WORD.

[sociallyawkrd.livejournal.com]

I am pretty sure I never did this on your journal. But I am a big offender of saying how I want to punch person X in the face. At the very least it is a good reminder that it might be a poor choice to do so. Even if I wouldn't actually punch anyone in the face.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I also know you, which makes it easier for me to know your intent or to talk to you privately about it. But aabout 900 people have friended this journal and I have no idea who else reads it, and while I try to keep up with everyone, when people I don't know well behave this way towards people I actually do -- it's super ooogy.

[miep.livejournal.com]

it's the ones in S3, right?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Well yeah, although the original Jack backstory from The Doctor Dances is pretty useful too.

[firinel.livejournal.com]

I guess some people didn't listen when Mom told them, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

My mother never told me that, and I've always thought that to be one of the most asinine trite sayings ever. People saying it usually DO mean that we can't be critics, thus the "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" part.

[miep.livejournal.com]

oh, yes. I still get awfully confused on timeline...

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

For a change, I'm not reading your write-ups on the series. I'm waiting to see it on BBS week after next. And it's hard! It's so hard! I'm normally a "I wanna know! Spoil me!"

[rm.livejournal.com]

You're making the right choice.

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

We're going to make it an event here in the apartment. Get the munchies and settle in! I'll even catch Rescue Me on a later broadcast.

And when you move around your regular shows, you know it's something special. ;-D

[rm.livejournal.com]

It's truly, truly spectacular. I feel humbled that this type of work and thought and emotion went into a sci-fi program that actually features people like me and my friends and people I love.

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

Every so often, TV lives up to it's potental and we get great things. Because of that, I can put up with the other stuff. Hell, some of the other stuff is just plain dumb fun.


Tho' there are times I still want to bash it for the stupid.

[kirby-crow.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

My fur gets seriously rubbed the wrong way when I see people stating: "Oh I wish (famous name here) would die in a fire!" because... what? You seriously just wished a horrible, screaming death by fire on someone because they didn't write a story you liked? Or because they got a girlfriend. Or because they said something you didn't agree with. Or if it isn't fire, it's punching their face or running them over with your car. Sure, it's only words. Violent words. Words wishing harm.

It's never going to be okay to do this.