PSA, both general and specific

[rm]

Okay on my journal: anger and disagreement. Not okay on my journal: threats of physical violence, toward anyone in any way that is the least bit possibly Not a Joke.

I am more discreet than you often realize about people I have social and professional relationships with.

When you slag viciously on famous creative people: writers and actors, it bothers the fuck out of me --- sometimes as a decent human being, sometimes as a storyteller and sometimes because I know these people! Yeah, really. And while I seem to be saying this in regard to the Torchwood fuckery going on; it's actually that the Torchwood fuckery reminds me of all the times people have done this shit about other, non-Whoniverse people with whom I do have more than passing social relationships and go for drinks with and talk about real, actual life with, and I've more or less said not a damn thing, because my life is less drama if y'all don't know who I know. But seriously, think the fuck twice. I'm surely not the only person in this position.

Be a critic, be a harsh one (lord knows I am) but don't be arbitrarily cruel.

Which means the misogyny? the threats of violence? the nasty remarks about people's partners famous and not? Are really not welcome here.

Sometimes we say unkind, gossipy shit. I am so not immune to this it's not even funny, but I try, and I'm asking you to try, and if you can't contain it, I'm asking you not to do it here, because I'm sick of having to say nothing when you talk about who you want to punch in the face or whose girlfriend you think is a slut.

Comments

[pandarus.livejournal.com]

Hi! You don't know me from Adam, and I can't actually remember when it was that somebody linked me to one of your posts and I thought: "Interesting person - add to friendslist*" - but, um, hi. This is me delurking to say: "What the fucking fuck?" Which is, I'll grant you, a trifle impolite of me, as an opening gambit, but - good LORD.

"Which means the misogyny? the threats of violence? the nasty remarks about people's partners famous and not? Are really not welcome here.
"

???!!!

I'm so sorry to hear that you're getting that kind of nastiness impinging on your online interactions. The frail vehicle of the English language is inadequate to expressing how VERY little truck I have with this nonsense.

Do not want.

(*I am of the mindset that mentally replaces 'friend' with 'reading' in the term 'friendslist' - I tend not to do that whole formal introduction thing if reading someone's LJ, or to expect people to ask permission/have to introduce themselves if they're reading my LJ. But I realise that the etiquette varies, and I hope this doesn't strike you as inappropriately forward. Your journal is interesting and articulate and it tickled my fancy. Plus - Torchwood!)

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

I am of the mindset that mentally replaces 'friend' with 'reading' in the term 'friendslist'

Me too! (I was rather glad when Dreamwidth changed the naming convention from "friends list" to "reading circle".)

[njc2007.livejournal.com]

I'm all with you on this.

I guess some people didn't listen when Mom told them, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Of course, that doesn't mean we can't be critics...just keep the mud-slinging, threats and personal slagging to a minimum.

After reading your comments, I'm really looking forward to watching CoE; but I've only just finished the first three episodes of Torchwood. Still have a lot to watch before I can get the CoE.

[rm.livejournal.com]

You do. Um, hold on tight -- the first two seasons are pretty erratic, but when it's great, it's great. Also have you watched Doctor Who or do you need the "episodes you have to watch between TW seasons 1 and 2 to make things make sense" guide?

[firinel.livejournal.com]

I guess some people didn't listen when Mom told them, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

My mother never told me that, and I've always thought that to be one of the most asinine trite sayings ever. People saying it usually DO mean that we can't be critics, thus the "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" part.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Thank you. For reals.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. The internet's sufficiently full of degrees of separation (the more so now everyone seems to be following everyone on Twitter) that arbitrary cruelty is particularly poisonous.

it should be "discreet" rather than "discrete" on the second line, I think, just fyi.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thanks -- left hand types faster than teh right, hence that always happens.

[vampry.livejournal.com]

I've only seen the first three"days" of CoE but I don't get where this is coming from. OTOH, this is the first I've heard of Torchwood fuckery.

Color me not surprised though.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Day 4 is some of the best TV I've ever seen. But it's... exhausting.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Wow, seriously?!

I haven't been reading discussion or spoilers of any kind as I'm getting all five eps over the weekend.

What is this fuckery? I'm sorry you've had to deal with this in your space.

Which means the misogyny? the threats of violence? the nasty remarks about people's partners famous and not? Are really not welcome here.
Crikey... in some ways I'm glad I'm behind everyone else in this, if this is gut reaction to the eps.

[unicursal.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I know a lot of people in the entertainment industry - comics, television, music - they are all intertwined these days.

Critique the art, not the artist.

[xpenclickerredx.livejournal.com]

FUCK, its absurd this is even a problem. People, don't get violent over fucking art. MY WORD.

[sociallyawkrd.livejournal.com]

I am pretty sure I never did this on your journal. But I am a big offender of saying how I want to punch person X in the face. At the very least it is a good reminder that it might be a poor choice to do so. Even if I wouldn't actually punch anyone in the face.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I also know you, which makes it easier for me to know your intent or to talk to you privately about it. But aabout 900 people have friended this journal and I have no idea who else reads it, and while I try to keep up with everyone, when people I don't know well behave this way towards people I actually do -- it's super ooogy.

[kirby-crow.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

My fur gets seriously rubbed the wrong way when I see people stating: "Oh I wish (famous name here) would die in a fire!" because... what? You seriously just wished a horrible, screaming death by fire on someone because they didn't write a story you liked? Or because they got a girlfriend. Or because they said something you didn't agree with. Or if it isn't fire, it's punching their face or running them over with your car. Sure, it's only words. Violent words. Words wishing harm.

It's never going to be okay to do this.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is disturbed by that phrase. Thank you.

[marcmagus]

Seriously, what's with that? Do people not realize what they're saying?

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

Not telling the story the way I wanted is -like invading Tibet or something.
Except that their stories are better.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

*slow claps*

I have to thank you for this; I don't get involved in the fandoms for several shows I like because I run into the whole 'OMG that girl he's dating is such a skank!' type of thing and it makes me seriously uncomfortable. Always glad to see a place where it's not welcome. :-)

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

It's a real shame you actually have to tell people this.

[woogledesigns.livejournal.com]

http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040319h.jpg

[norda.livejournal.com]

...seriously, think the fuck twice. I'm surely not the only person in this position.

Be a critic, be a harsh one (lord knows I am) but don't be arbitrarily cruel.

I'm sorry this even needs to be said... that's just common sense to me.

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

good grief
be sad about the show, but fucking hell that's uncalled for (aimed at whoever was doing this, not you obviously)

[woogledesigns.livejournal.com]

Who in the what now?

Have people have been doing the usual, obnoxious "If x character dies I'm going to tear y creative a new hole and why is person z getting all this air time? They're just a slag and have ruined the show" thing?

[rm.livejournal.com]

That been the low end of it. There have been actual physical threats and a hysterical suicide-threat screed (from a person who does that a lot though, so no one is like actually worried about it, but still, uncool!) as well.

[roomette.livejournal.com]

Thank you for saying this, I have had the same experience and it is intensely uncomfortable for me.

People are people. Their work? Discuss and dissect. Their beings? Off limits.

[woogledesigns.livejournal.com]

Your userpic is making my head spin.