sundries

[rm]

As some people noticed, cleolinda linked the other day to my piece about the fetishization and diserespect towards both gay people and gay characters in fandom. This happened in the midst of the CoE craziness (which had its relevance, surely, especially in light of the line from the original post that was used for the link -- that was sort of great, I was rather proud of that quip), and I hadn't gotten around to mentioning that I was glad more people saw the piece, but also disturbed by some of the derailing that showed up with the new influx of readers ("you're too sensitive"). Today, one of the posters who wanted to bring up the issues I raised at a con panel reported back on the results, which were disheartening to say the least. Don't yell at her, as her panel audience is not her fault, but I wanted to underline how real the problem is thanks to her reportage.

Meanwhile, there was a post about LGBT discomfort with content in Torchwood: Children of Earth, which I seriously disagreed with here. My comment is on page 2. Obviously the whole thing contains epic spoilers. The original commenter has, what I feel, is a reasonable point of view I disagreed with. However, some of the comments are illuminating as regards the paragraph previous to this, as they are filled with random examples of misogyny and more than a few straight women informing us they were only there for the queer and they feel betrayed.

*Sigh* I feel... very defeated.

Meanwhile laurab1 links us to a gay soldier's story because of whatever homophobic idiocy she's encountered in fandom this week (not sure what it was, but that was the set up of her choosing to link).

In response to all the fuckery going on in the over-the-top and art-negative and sincerely just human rudeness fail-y reactions to CoE (hate it if you want, but don't harass or threaten writers) blackbird_song had a bit of chat with James Moran and has organized a little charity drive benefiting Children in Need and Cancer Research UK. If you've got a few extra bucks and want to say "no, this behavior was not okay," you can do both at once. Particular kudos for her, because of the way her own opinion on the CoE material and reactions evolved and for doing something constructive. Details and the vaguest of spoilers are here.

This piece by extrafancyganza is the greatest piece of Torchwood fan art ever. Rec'ed by xtricks and entirely SFW and spoiler-free.

Things I don't need: people's shitty ex-husbands friending me on Facebook.

Things I also don't need: residual virus drama on office computer that makes me hesitant to do things I need to do involving online banking and travel arrangements; I think I'll wait 'til I get home.

Comments

[rm.livejournal.com]

Well the fetishization thing was here int his journal before CoE aired, so you might have already seen it.

What's so amazing to me, and frustrating, is it's so easy not to fetishize. Treat gay relationships like any other relationship, the end. You do a perfectly fine job -- I've never blinked at anything in your writing that way.

Of course, what I am perhaps not getting is that some of the fetishization comes out of extremes of heteronormativity in people's own lives, and as such the gay cliches they write don't pop out at them anymore than the heterosexual cliches in their own lives. This disturbs me, but is something I have to recognize I can't see well, as so much of my life has been about opting the fuck out of that: I'm bisexual and I have a lot of privilege as a thin, attractive woman. It would be very easy for me to have a life all about the rules. I tried it and I was bored.

P.S., I'll be donating to both charities tonight when I'm on a more trusted machine.

[sethg]

I'm suddenly reminded of something I read in a book on sketching: if you're just starting to learn how to draw, your first big hurdle is drawing what you actually see. Even when you have a model right in front of you, your preconceptions about what things "ought to" look like, and the fact that you're used to paying more attention to some features of the body than others, prevent you from drawing things in the proper location and proportion.

A fortiori, if your most salient knowledge of gay relationships comes from third-hand misinformation originating from The 700 Club and equally well-informed sources, and then you try to write fiction with gay characters, then in order to not-fetishize, you have to make a similar mental effort to re-calibrate your perceptions.