sundries

[rm]

If you're in the Boston-area, here's a new burlesque troupe to watch. They're having a big debut soon, and I've had the pleasure to see several of their dancers before. Check it out. They know their stuff, and have a better sense of the history of teh art than many, many other groups I've seen.

It's Nutcracker season! The Klezmer Nutcracker, that is. The Klezmer Nutcracker is ellen_kushner's holiday show for young audiences (although there's plenty of cool stuff for grownups so you won't be bored) that combines Jewish mythology, klezmer music and dancing en poite (that's new this year). Not just for kids, and not just for Jewish kids. Also, there's a peacock. Look, just trust me on this, okay? Tickets tend to sell out a few days before each performance, so book now.

A Jew in London.

Walking into work this morning I saw a well-dressed man in a suit talking in a men-explain-it-all way to a well-dressed woman in a suit. The conversation? "They have horns, they drink the blood of babies." I have to assume/hope he was talking about anti-Semitism as opposed to being anti-Semitic.

This was all over Twitter yesterday: Little Green Footballs, apparently a conservative site, has a piece up called Why I Parted Ways With the Right. It's like a voice in the wilderness.

dsmoen has some good thoughts on the grieving process. kyburg also offers comment.

verasteine has written a long meta on heteronormative sexual/relationship dynamics in slash fiction that I haven't had time to read yet (it's been a rough week), but is surely worthy of discussion. I'll catch up soon!

On that note, Torchwood fen may want to take a look at blue_fjords's Torchwoo AU that begins with Dr. Harkness and Nurse Jones: Kenya (it later moves on to both Ghana and India). What's interesting is that it takes romance novel tropes that are so often a part of the "heteronormative sexual/relationship dymamics" mentioned above, and, despite them being central to the story, refuses to bow to them. People get hurt and people get rescued, but there are no damsels in distress here. At all. It's worth reading to see how she does it.

When you keep talking about how sick and wrong you are for writing slash, even when you're doing it playfully, you may be unintentionally sending an unpleasant message to your queer friends both in fandom and not.

You have heard about the proposed law in Uganda that would punish 'aggravated homosexuality' with the death penalty, right? In case you missed it, this isn't just Uganda's outrage. It's ours. Prominent American conservatives are tied to the thing. It's stuff like this that means it's always risky for anyone to be out ever, because these people have power here, want more power here, and you never know when or how you're going to lose your safety. That's the problem with paranoia, that's why it's impossible to excise: sometimes, you think, it will keep you alive.

Apparently the legislative clusterfuck in NY State and the ensuing low-level of coverage on equal marriage rights in the state may just make everything work out. The Assembly passed the bill last night. The Senate is voting today. And things look... possible.

Hey, it turns out that Meredith Baxter is gay.

An interesting piece about the Soldiers’, Sailors’, Marines’, Coast Guard and Airmen’s Club which I was actually once in for a day for a marketing event. It's a pretty amazing space, and it's a pretty amazing thing that they've been doing there for 90 years.

I am participating in the fanfiction love meme.

Take a look at this gorgeous bit of steampunk art. It's a kid's push toy.

Comments

[j-v-lynch.livejournal.com]

The Klezmer Nutcracker looks awesome.
We are gathering the family in Larchmont for the holidays so I hope I can convince them to make the trip in.
Do you have any other suggestions that might be cool/fun for a 6 year old?

[rm.livejournal.com]

The Klezmer Nutcracker is awesome! Like really, really, really.

Depending how you feel about candy, Dylan's Candy Bar is a wondrous store (Chanuka, sugar-free and kosher options are on hand), if a bit of a mob-scene.

Beyond that I'll have to ponder.

[j-v-lynch.livejournal.com]

Both She and I are hypoglycemic so candy is mostly a nono, but sugar free candy is very tempting.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Can you do agave? I know the glycemic impact is different. If so, I've got an AMAZING bakery to send you to.

[j-v-lynch.livejournal.com]

we have not had any problems with it in the past. I'm all for amazing bakeries.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Oh! Wonderful.

Go to Babycakes. All their stuff is labeled as to its ingredients. About 70% of it is made with agave instead of sugar and everything is wheat free (they do use spelt in some items though, which provides a better texture than gluten-free, so you should go for that option on cupcakes).

They do cupcakes, cookies, pies, breads, brownies, etc. Really, really good.

[j-v-lynch.livejournal.com]

That sounds amazing.
I don't remember the last time I had a cupcake, other than nibbling a little crumb.

[rm.livejournal.com]

agave-based icing and everything!

http://babycakesnyc.com/

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I've taken a causal sample of the comments to the Little Green Footballs piece, and they pretty much seemed to agree with it. The wilderness seems to have a lot of conservatives who are disgusted with the Republicans.

[rm.livejournal.com]

More of them need to be louder. Because a non-hate/non-fear/fact-based conservative perspective is Good for the Dialogue. What's actually happening instead, waaaaaay not so much.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Yup. I wonder how much hurt will be done before the situation changes?

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

They do need to be louder. It's just that being loud is hard work if you don't like conflict, and it's plausible that Limbaugh and Coulter and such attracted all the Republicans who like conflict.

[marcmagus]

"They have horns, they drink the blood of babies."

It occurs to me that I have made fun of ridiculous anti-Semitic beliefs before in public, and a random passerby might have only heard me say, "...we have horns and bake the blood of Christian babies into our matzoh..." Maybe I should stop making fun of these people in public lest someone get the wrong idea.

OTOH, it wasn't nearly long enough ago that a business associate of my mother's asked her, in all honesty and out of genuine curiosity, if she would show him her horns. So apparently people do still believe this crap.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Happened to me at Yale in 1987. Actually, I got told I must be a convert because I didn't have horn-removal scars.

[marcmagus]

Astounding.

Almost makes me wish I shaved my head so I could post a photo and try to get it passed around the internet: this is what the head of a full-blooded Jewish man looks like; observe the lack of either horns or scars.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

"It's a shop! I can tell from some of the pixels, and from having seen quite a few shops in my day." :P

((Also, next time I get my hands on your hair in its unbraided state, I am totally searching your head for such a thing. Largely because this is not a stereotype(?) that I have ever heard, and I think I am a little fascinated that people could be that dumb.))

~Sor

[marcmagus]

I'm not sure I'm actually ok with your doing that, dear. It's the "we, the oppressed, can joke about it to defuse it; you joking about it is very fraught with potential to either reinforce it or bring up the pain, even though you mean well" thing.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

Meep, understood. No offense meant, and I apologize. Thanks for the clue, dear.

~Sor

[delchi.livejournal.com]

THIS is a topic of which I have much curiosity. I do not understand how it is possible to be able to say something without taking all possible actions, I also do not understand who makes the judgement.

Is it possible that you could joke about it - in an effort to defuse it, and yet also reinforce it, or cause pain as well?

I would think that it would be obvious when a non oppressed person jokes about it in an effort to defuse, vs deliberately trying to reinforce it.

My puzzlement comes because it seems to serve no purpose that to drive yet another barrier between people - saying " we can talk about it but you can't " ... not unlike " that is OUR word, and you can not use it " kind of thinking.

Now I'm not accusing you of anything and I'm not trying to be offensive, I watn to understand how this process works, and what logic is behind it.

This is, aside, the first timeI have heard about the stereotype. I googled thinking it might be something else, but behold it refers directly.

[marcmagus]

I'm sorry, but I find I have neither the time nor the energy to attempt a good explanation of everything you're asking right now. I'll just respond to your comment about driving a barrier between people.

When I say to my girlfriend that her identity would affect how I would read her action, I'm not doing it to erect a barrier between us, nor to create a class of people who are allowed to make a certain joke and a class of people who aren't. Rather, I observed my negative reaction to her saying she might do something and attempted to explain to her why that reaction was negative so we could avoid the potential situation of her actually taking an action which would result in my being upset.

The fact is, being checked for horns, even jokingly, would call up associations with my mother's story and rm's story above, and with the long history of people doing much worse things to people like me simply because we were born Jewish. And by long history, I mean it's been going on for a long time, not that it's only in the past.

So, no, it doesn't just drive a barrier between people. It describes the reality of the situation. I'd rather anybody could make the joke, say, about what those stupid people used to believe in the past, ha, ha, without worrying that it might reinforce the belief in the present, or that the person making it might think there's something vaguely true about it, or being reminded that there are people who believe it, still, right now.

P.S. While you're Googling, you might want to keep in mind that horns on humans/humanoids are typically associated by Christians with evil, and you might want to look up the Blood Libel we were also referring to. The two have a nasty tendency to go together.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Not at all! Thanks for indulging me this far. I had no intention on commenting on anything between you and your girlfriend ( didn't even know that was her. Hello! ).

I have a curiosity towards the origins of verbal abuse ( ever read "Maldicta" ? ) and I was curious about your point of view.

I'm curious of where the idea of horns and such came from. Like when I first heard the term " kyke " I was surprised to find that it's origin was the word " kikel " ( or so some people say ... there is debate ) meaning circle, which was the symbol drawn on paperwork for Jewish people being processed through Ellis Island, and for a time it was considered to be a term of unity and not offensive ( again, debated ).

I also wrote a bit about grade school rhymes and taunts , and their origins.

I'm just strange that way.

Sorry if this seems a bit out of phase, just getting home from a twelve hour work day.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Aside : http://www.amazon.com/Best-Maledicta-Reinhold-Aman/dp/0894714996

This is a compilation from the journal. It includes things like origins of Russian folk insults, the story of little red riding hood done in "'nam" era slang, and other bits.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

*blinks* Damn, there are no words...

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Funnily enough, a coworker was making "oo" noises about the Nutcracker in general (the Balanchine was mentioned in the NYT), and I recc'd KlezNut as an alternative. We'll see...

[norda.livejournal.com]

Agreed with dsmoen.

Only just caught up with LJ reading from yesterday and hadn't seen the news about britgeekgrrl and dancingshaman until now.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Vera's meta is pretty awesome!

Re: the LGF article... that made me think of this recent good read by Marty Beckerman in Salon. I've known Marty since he was a clue-free teenager (hey, he admits it):
http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2009/11/10/recovering_republican/index.html

I see lots of people are doing the fanfiction love meme, but I have a hard time telling you all what I like best. I think you should write more everything, especially threesomes. <3.

[jgcr.livejournal.com]

LGF were one of the primary vehicles for anti-Muslim nastiness post 9/11. I'm happy for the turnaround, and generally believe that returns to sanity, however belated and partial, should be supported. But I also don't want history to be forgotten.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I'd never even heard of the thing until yesterday, so thanks for that.

[misch.livejournal.com]

The story regarding Uganda came up on Monday on Fark.
One of the Fark regulars pointed out "The Family"

[sunhawk.livejournal.com]

When you keep talking about how sick and wrong you are for writing slash, even when you're doing it playfully, you may be unintentionally sending an unpleasant message to your queer friends in fandom and not.

Nooooo kidding! Also, and I hope this remark comes across as consolidating rather than derailing, the straight authors aren't fond of it either.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

*nods* It does give the air of "incitement to wank" even if it's not meant as such. It seems to crop up with distressing regularity in a regular "plebefic headers" spork-post by one of my circle on Dreamwidth.

[sunhawk.livejournal.com]

I'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and say they must not have been around when fans used to say that sort of stuff in earnest about other fans. Half the authors I knew from way back had a penname just to avoid being dogpiled by non-slash fans elsewhere in the fandom. Just makes the "joke" less funny to me.

[nicoli-dominn.livejournal.com]

Um...that proposed law in Uganda sounds like another Holocaust waiting to happen. Especially when they've added in parts that also criminalize people who fail to report the "homosexual activities" of others. Next thing you know, they're going to make all of the non-straight people report themselves and walk around wearing some insignia that tells everyone what their sexual orientation is. Do the supporters somehow not see this? Or are they so blinded by their hatred that they've found every way to justify such laws? Your quote about paranoia...I wish it weren't so true.

The Klezmer Nutcracker sounds amazing. I wish they were putting on a show or two in Nashville.

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

When you keep talking about how sick and wrong you are for writing slash, even when you're doing it playfully, you may be unintentionally sending an unpleasant message to your queer friends both in fandom and not.

See also when you slap "slash" into your warning header in between "torture" and "puppy molestation".

Also from the department of why fandom can't have nice things, from a particular clusterfuck I saw yesterday, may I add that straight fans should consider very carefully whether it's their place to tell queer fans what they shouldn't find offensive in conversations about slash. There are ways to say that you don't like slash without being homophobic, but not every way you could say that is that way.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Also from the department of why fandom can't have nice things, from a particular clusterfuck I saw yesterday, may I add that straight fans should consider very carefully whether it's their place to tell queer fans what they shouldn't find offensive in conversations about slash. There are ways to say that you don't like slash without being homophobic, but not every way you could say that is that way.

Seriously. Seriously Wow, I was just bitching at people's internalized sex-negativity getting on me in accidental ways that since I know them in passing, I know isn't intended as it's coming off. But ... oh, why am I surprised about anything anymore?

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

It probably serves me right for reading fanficrants but apparently I'm still naive enough to find this shit surprising (especially since that comm, for all it's drama, is usually okay at calling people out on stuff).

In a nutshell: Queer fic writer gets very questionable review from very questionable reviewer (who apparently enjoys explicit m/m sex in stories but finds m/m kissing "distasteful"). Writer sends polite but firm note saying "Quit that!" back to reviewer, then comes to fanficrants to vent in stronger terms. Cue an avalanche of comments telling her how mean she was, how she overreacted, how it's okay to not like slash (not the point), how some people say het is gross, how obviously this person can't really be homophobic if she gets off on the sexy parts etc etc. I think that's bingo right there.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yiiiiiiiiiiikes. That's like "thank you for not linking me to that as I have to get some shit done today."

[sociallyawkrd.livejournal.com]

the piece of grief was very accurate. I think it especially resonated with me in that grief can be delayed. I was a trooper until Thomas was born and then every single thing seemed like a loss I had with Hannah because I never got to see it and she never got to do it. So 2 years after losing her and I was dying all over the place with grief. And people told me to get over it all the time.

And the new kind of normal. Yeah that too.

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

Another thanks for the link to the piece on grief.

The grief never goes away, you just learn to live with it. I probably have crying jags directly related to my mom being dead 3-4 times a year. Sometimes it's bawling, sometimes just silent tears. Themost recent was over Thanksgiving.

My mother has been gone for 27 years this month and on Thanksgiving Day I had bits of grief. One of the things I'd always envisioned was gathering with my kids in my mom's kitchen and helping with the holiday meals. I got to do that, with my daughter and I helping with the brussels sprouts, only it was my step-mom (someone I love dearly) rather than my mom. When I realized what we were doing, I smiled but it was bittersweet.

And the new normal, spot on.

[newsbean.livejournal.com]

I had someone ask to see my horns in all seriousness in 2006.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

I thought for a minute that maybe there was some mythological beast, but my best google search for 'has horns' and 'drinks blood of babies' all point to "Jews" and/or "Vampires".

WTF? Where did this come from?

[argentla.livejournal.com]

Not directly apropos of any of this, but have you read this?

http://alanmoore.tribe.net/thread/82694d99-d531-41f6-a43b-75ec7cf27e7c

Alan Moore on pornography.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Wow. I've heard of Little Green Footballs before - as a typical far right pro-War site of the Shrub years. That's a huge change, and the other recent articles seem to fully support it. Between this sort of thing and the increasing demand for ideological purity on the far right, I'm more hopeful than ever that the far right will utterly destroy the chances for Republican victories in 2010 & 2012. Of course, looking at the LGF site, it looks to me like the general outlook is far more in line with the Democrats than the Republicans - which I see as being just as much a condemnation of the Democrats as of the Republicans. In my ideal vision of the US, the Democrats would be the conservative party, not the "liberal" one.

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

talking in a men-explain-it-all way

Mansplaining! I don't know where I heard this term, but men like to mansplain my job to me all day long.

[exbentley]

Hey hey hey, I love these linkspams you do, as I love pretty much all of your blog all the time, and I was wondering if you could advertise my friend? Uh, that sounds weird, but one of my LJ friends, doubtful_salmon is doing her very first stand-up comedy gig and I think she's pretty funny but she's worried no-one will turn up and her friends aren't being super supportive? I find it hard to attend NYC events from all the way over here in Australia, but since you uh, live there, I figure you might reach a wider audience.

Anyway if this is totally inappropriate or you don't want to then that is fine by me, but I am going to leave the details, as she provided them:

"If you're going to be in or around the Manhattan area on Saturday the 12th of December at about 4:30 p.m., you should come see my show. It is at Comix, on 14th St. and 9th Ave. I just discovered yesterday that there apparently used to be an S&M club at the same location. In many ways, there still is. FYI, it's a private show, so you have to call them to make a reservation, 212.524.2500 (I think). You also have to buy two menu items, although my experience with Comix is that it is easy to get away with ordering only one (and it doesn't need to be liquor). I'm not sure if there's a cover."

Thankyou either way, for being a resource as well as a fascinating & readable person. :)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Done, although I think the process of doing it may have exemplified why I don't usually post things for stuff I'm not directly familiar with. I poked at it a bit, but it wasn't meant to be mean, and I do hope it helps!

[exbentley]

Haha, no, it's fine, I pretty much expected it. (AFAIK the "private show" thing just means it's by-reservation-only, rather than a great big secret, but that's just my interpretation.) Thankyou bunches, though! ♥ I owe you a favour.

[podle.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing the post about grief. My father died last May and it is only recently that I fully accepted there would be no new normal, just life without my Pop.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

When you keep talking about how sick and wrong you are for writing slash, even when you're doing it playfully, you may be unintentionally sending an unpleasant message to your queer friends both in fandom and not.

Thank you for pointing that out. I frequently talk about how demented a place my head is while I'm writing, and while I never mean it's because the pairing is slash or femslash, I can see how it could be taken that way. So thanks for the heads-up.