rm | we're back + sundries

I'm writing this on the train back from Cold Spring. We stayed at the Pig Hill Inn, which we chose entirely for the canopy bed, wood-burning stove in the room, and the jacuzzi tub for two. We sat in the sexy, sexy bath and (well aside from the obvious) watched a lot of Buffy.

Cold Spring, as an idea, is totally, I confess, a place I am familiar with because my ex's family lived near here and so I spent a lot of time in this area in the '90s and have always thought it was supercute. But my question is this: when did Cold Spring become the gayest town on earth? In our non-explicitly LGBTQ B&B 4 of the 8 couples renting rooms were gay! Most of the waiters (including the one at the French restaurant who sang "We Are Family" to us) were gay, and it was sort of very bizarre and totally awesome. Also, Patty bought some beads at a place called "S&M Beads and Jewelry" and I remain stunned that such a store name did not involve nipple piercing in any way.

Across from the garden entrance to our B&B was a memorial for a guy who died at 17. It featured a range of plastic dinosaurs, some of which had been knocked over by the snow, and it made think of Wash from Firefly.

Anyway, it was awesome and relaxing and involved spectacular food (fresh gluten-free biscuits made for me each morning!). Soon we'll be back in the city, where we're going to do groceries for a nice dinner tonight and do some errands for the impending cat-arrival tomorrow, which I also finish up some work for several different parts of my life.

I did, btw, manage to get a last-minute proposal for Infinitus in, and I'm a bit more enthused about going now that I know the con has secured after hours access for con participants only to the theme park.

In other news:

I've seen a bit of "John Barrowman shouldn't go on vacation in Antigua because they have anti-gay laws" (either because he's a gay public figure and should make a statement or just because "wow, gay people, don't do that" -- both of which are valid responses, despite what I'm about to say below), and I've sort of felt an urge to comment, not because I particularly care about Barrowman's vacation habits, but because of our own over here. Because on the next cruise we're taking, some of our stops are on islands where homosexuality is illegal, and yes, that makes me at least passingly uncomfortable both in terms of my tourism dollars and personal safety.

But at the same time, I gotta say: living right is tricky and ethical questions exist because life is complex: do my dollars in an anti-gay location do more to harm gay rights than they do to address poverty? are boycotts (of just about anything for any reason) ever effective (and I ask this as a person who is the boycotting sort)? Can gay visibility help more than gay absence? And, even if every personal act should consider political ramifications, is that really a feasible way to live?

Here's the other thing, specifically on the anti-gay thing. When I was in university, sodomy laws were still on the books and enforceable (and while they were rarely enforced, they sure were from time to time) in way more than a handful of US states. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that for someone my age or older (so say born before 1972), the idea of traveling to a place with anti-gay laws on the books and hoping your privilege or other people's laziness will protect you, is, well.... ordinary... normal, the sort of thing you couldn't avoid, because it was just how it was -- where your parents lived, or your best friend, or in the town you had a job interview in.

Between the ubiquity of such laws in places you were actually likely to go and the lack of any sense of real hope that these things would be gone at any moment, there wasn't, I don't think, this same sense of "we can't reward these places with our money."

In fact, if anything, it was the reverse -- we used to stamp our bills with pink triangles over the presidents faces, so stores would know when they were getting gay money. Was that more or less effective than boycotts and avoidance? I don't know; I mention it merely for context.

Look, I have no idea what JB was thinking when he and his partner decided to go to Antigua (other than hey, nice island). But I don't think it's the sort of thing we can armchair quarterback in a truly meaningful way, although I suppose it's a good enough jumping off point for thinking about our own choices of this ilk.

It's like I fly a gazillion times a year now -- totally crap for the environment. Maybe I'm totally evil. Maybe I buy carbon offsets and am slightly less evil. Maybe I feel bad about it but don't really bother to do anything about it. Maybe I figure it's okay since I don't drive and use mass transit for everything else. You don't know. To my mind, traveling to places like Antigua is sort of the same thing.

Of course, I say this as the person with a cruise booked to islands that include anti-gay laws and a partner who often works in countries with same.

Meanwhile, speaking of anti-gay laws being enforced, here's bad news from Malawi and Kenya.

Trans people no longer considered mentally ill in France

The LGBTQ zombie anthology saga goes on and on and on. For those of you that haven't been playing along at home, there have now been at least four different reasons offered from the publisher that the anthology was supposedly pulled, a rumor that the anthology will be reopened by only for submissions from queer authors (what's the cred? what do I have to sign? CAN I HAVE MY GAY ID CARD NOW PLEASE... oh wait, that's CREEPYCAKES), and a whole lot of general unhappiness. Check out