sundries

[rm]

In a way, Alicia Parlette has been dying since the moment most of us first heard of her. But now her story is nearing its end.

United finally apologizes to LJ'er with a disability that they treated terribly.

Why equal marriage rights matter whether you want them to or not: the local government put an elderly gay couple into separate care homes, listed each as having no family, and had all their possessions sold, because when you're queer, apparently twenty years don't count.

Nude models who are part of an art exhibition in NYC expected to deal with a bit of inappropriateness, but it seems like they are experiencing nearly constant levels of assault and harassment by museum patrons.

Back when I was in Forget Me Not, my role was as one of the two dressing room dancers. Myself and the male dressing room dancer were partially dressed, like we were midway though getting ready for an evening out. We were in the theater's dressing room and we'd wait for patrons to come in, put albums on the old 1970s-style turntable and dance with them, whispering stories in their ears. It was awkward and intimate, and we each danced with patrons of all genders, and only a very, very few were rude and/or groped us. But it was a very draining show (since, you know, later we had to put audience members in coffins and wheel them out of the theater), and we worried about it a lot. I'm flabberghasted that people are being so boorish about this art show.

Last night, Patty told me that the volcanic ash cloud appeared over airspace here and in Europe on the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.

UK airspace restrictions are currently in place until at least 1am Tuesday.

While there is nothing that can be done for us, my level of annoyance that the British government has set up hotlines for stranded passengers to get help and information and is trying to mobilize the Royal Navy to get people home from the continent while the US government has done NOTHING for people stranded here, is pretty high. I want a hotline too. As a whole, we really need some help.

Two superheroes walk into a bar....

sparkindarkness recaps some LJ transfail for us.

Meanwhile, last night, raedbard linked to this fandom secret which, along with the comments, manages to provide a live demonstration of the many points of friction between fandom-at-large and LGBTQ members of fandom.

In brief:

- Writing slash or not has no bearing on whether you are homophobic or not.

- Liking slash or not has no bearing on whether you are homophobic or not.

- Equating slash with Real Queer People or Real Queer Narratives is dodgy at best. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

- Writing and/or liking slash may or may not mean you've strayed into the fetishization of queer people, something that has a negative impact on queer people. These issues are not clear cut. At all. And asking them to be, from any side of the discussion, is problematic.

- While fiction of all sorts can be used to examine social issues and can be a form of activism, it is not an automatic free pass to being a Big Gay Hero or a Big Hero for Gays.

- People don't decide to be trans.

- Equating someone's gender identity with (inappropriate and uncool) pressure you may be feeling in fandom to be a slasher is uncool.

- "I'm not homophobic, but..." is never a way to win whatever argument you think you're about to be having.

How many times are we going to have to have this conversation, oh Internets?

Comments

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I'm grossed out that people are groping the models, but my first reaction is also "Wow, so not accessible, and doesn't work for folks with mobility issues anyway." I wonder if someone will let me make an "art" exhibit in which the patrons are forcibly strapped into heavy wheelchairs. People don't seem to get that my wheelchair is my personal space and that maybe you shouldn't rub your crotch against it.

It's sad to have to do this, but I still pull out the race card when dealing with these queer/slash fandom issues. "You can be a racist bigoted ignorant jerk and still like blaxploitation porn, right? Same thing, folks." I have yet to hear some stupid slasher say "that's all them thar queers are good for anyway is fuckin'", but I haven't looked, either.

It seems to me that most US folks are most sensitized to either race or gender issues (even while still harboring prejudices there), so I use those as my go-to examples when dealing with queer or cripple or other stuff that most people don't realize they're being prejudiced or ignorant about. (Problems of folks who fall into multiple oppressed categories multiply, natch - this is just using an example to give folks a clue.)

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

I have yet to hear some stupid slasher say "that's all them thar queers are good for anyway is fuckin'", but I haven't looked, either.

You do get the odd nutjob who like compares slash to being drawn to fictional murderers ("doesn't mean I think it's okay in real life!") but a lot of fetishization in fandom is more insidious from that, and comes from people who don't really realise they're doing it, which is the hardest kind to combat - they'll nod right along with you as you explain the problem, but won't apply it to their own behaviour.

[rm.livejournal.com]

There are more of those odd folks than you'd expect. Harry Potter fandom was RIFE with them, especially during the 2004 election.

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

Really? Oh Harry Potter. I admit, I live a very sheltered life, nearly all my fandoms have real queer people, which is maybe why I've never stopped being gobsmacked by the fail every time I step outside my bubble.

[rm.livejournal.com]

There were whole communities dedicates to Republican Harry Potter slashers, which became home of the type of stuff mentioned upthread.

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

I bet they loved The Single Mother's Manifesto then...

Fandom, never failing to break my brain since 1999.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

I have yet to hear some stupid slasher say "that's all them thar queers are good for anyway is fuckin'", but I haven't looked, either.

I have, on the other hand, seen someone rec a slew of slash in one post and cheer for passage of anti-LGBTQ legislation in the next.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

...eeeeeew and wow, it's the same thing only modernized. "Them's just for my sexual gratification, they aren't real people who deserve rights."

I have seen a female slash reader/author protest that "that's not what two men do together at ALL" to gay/bisexual men, which should have warned me.

I want to go pour bleach on the Internet now, but there's not enough in the world.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

...eeeeeew and wow, it's the same thing only modernized. "Them's just for my sexual gratification, they aren't real people who deserve rights."

Basically, yes.

I have seen a female slash reader/author protest that "that's not what two men do together at ALL" to gay/bisexual men, which should have warned me.

*boggles*

There's making assumptions based on other fiction, which works to a point at least insofar as meeting reader expectations, and then there's assuming that has anything to do with reality, which doesn't work hardly at all. Taking it to the place of "I know how you have sex better than you do" is so far beyond stupid I'm not sure words to express it even exist.

*boggles some more*

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

Some friends of mine went to an anime con, and somehow wandered into a panel about slashfic. Said friends - T, J, and J's wife - composed the only men present and not on the panel. (T is gay, J is bi.) The rest of the audience was almost entirely women who exhibited (in dress and behavior) a certain lack of social skills.

At one point J got in an argument with some woman about "how gay men do that". Eventually J stood up and demanded "Okay, is there anybody here who has actually HAD gay sex? Raise your hands!"

My friends were the only hands raised, plus one panelist.

"And anal sex?"

Same count.

"Right, so I think WE know a little more about it than you do! I'm not sure that most of you have EVER had sex!"

I forget what the original argument was, but it was something about as stupid as self-lubricating anuses or penises.

[alterjess.livejournal.com]

my first reaction is also "Wow, so not accessible, and doesn't work for folks with mobility issues anyway."

The article doesn't mention this or show it in the picture, but there is room on the outside of the "doorway" to go around the models for people with mobility issues (or just personal space issues, for that matter). The idea is to walk between them, but plenty of people don't.

[bugeyedmonster.livejournal.com]

"'art' exhibit in which the patrons are forcibly strapped into heavy wheelchairs"

You should so do this! And some patrons should be blindfolded then have to fumble their way through the exhibit, while others would have disposable earplugs inserted in their ears...

Really. I mean this!