sundries

[rm]

Last night I dreamed about Sydney. All night. I haven't dreamed about Sydney in a long time.

I was swimming with a friend (not someone I actually know) in the Olympic pool under the Sydney Harbour Bridge. The pool was filled with ocean water (something that makes sense in Sydney sort of, but is not the case with this actual pool) and it was as hideously grey as the sky. But it was warm and very nice. We were treading water, and I wasn't moving my legs at all, just letting them float about together, and she was telling me about a friend who was working for Baz Luhrmann and had been since she finished university. She went on and on about all the places this friend had traveled and told some out of school stories that the first friend shouldn't have told and mine shouldn't have repeated. And I thought I am so envious and I said, with equal sincerity, "wow, I am so glad that's not me."

But I do miss Sydney, and not even for the story of what I was, or wanted to be there.

Tomorrow Patty and I will go to the Hewitt reunion.

I'm so preoccupied with other matters (Bristol) that I find it hard to care. Although, I would be very happy if Elyse is there, as she was my very first friend I had a fandom with, and there are a few other people I would like to see because they were always kind. I am looking forward to seeing the space, particularly, to see how it has changed, to see to what degree it is as I remembered. And, I have practiced what to say if anyone apologizes to me for my school years as they have to my mother; it's all the very definition of awkward turtle.

I have also become both more and less concerned about what I am going to wear. It occurs to me that anything I show up in will seem as a costume to them, because I don't wear the Upper East Side uniform and because I was never supposed to be beautiful. That said, being as it is Hewitt and the Upper East Side, I can expect that nearly everyone there will, in fact, be thinner and richer than me, which isn't quite the equation with which I usually deal with the world.

Anyway, I'm too busy and I have too much typing to do, that I'm not even going to bother putting on fake nails. They can discuss my diseased hands all they want; I'm busy writing the world.

It occurs to me that so much of the "Is Elena Kagan a lesbian?" discussion has very little to do with homosexuality, and everything to do with straight-up sexism (not that the two aren't nearly always linked). It's not "Oh my god does she fuck women?" It's "how could someone who doesn't have a dick and has never had one in her even try to be the equal of men?" It leaves me nauseated.

The Arizona ban on ethnic studies in public schools has been signed into law. Would anyone like to tell me now that Arizona is not operating from a racist position?

Feminism means more than "women doing stuff" and it means more than just advocating for women. As far as I'm concerned the idea of a Tea Party feminist is an oxymoron.

In New York City, minorities are nine times more likely to be stopped and frisked, but they are not found to be violating the law in these stops with any more frequency than white New Yorkers.

Cameron/Clegg RPF via The Guardian. Proving, once again, even though this is remarkably unclever, that RPF can have a role in critical dialogue.

West Wing fans may be disturbed to note this observation from Peter David.

Remember deza who had to move abruptly and had to have her cat fostered? Well kitty needs to get home now, and she needs help to do it.

Last night we started S3 of Angel. And now we know where the crack in Torchwood comes from. Vampire pregnancy, WHUT? And what the fuck happened to Wesley's hair? It's HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE. At least Cordelia's hair has recovered from its weird, indecisive S2 chaos. Also, Lorne is love.

Comments

[elisi]

Vampire pregnancy, WHUT?
And so it begins... (It's not crack. Not in the Torchwood sense anyway. Just wait.)

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

^this, oh yes

oh... oh no ::shakes head::

[steeldreams.livejournal.com]

I'm sure everyone does realize it, but I'm on a little bit of a personal mission about it. Just here to say that a good portion of us here in Arizona are extremely pissed off at our politicians right now.

The trouble is, we don't yet outnumber the entrenched and elderly (age or way of thinking, both work for that adjective) masses who vote purely party line no matter how stupid the words coming out of the candidate's mouth.

LOTS of people come retire here for the golf and the lack of snow, and we get stuck with their political opinions and the worldviews they developed two generations ago. My own grandmother, who is as sweet as anything and never intended a person harm in her entire life, still refers to the degenerates in her neighborhood by race before any other descriptor. It's just how she was raised. It's not an excuse for her, but an example of what we're dealing with.

So, please, berate our politicians. We certainly are. I definitely am, especially as someone who could easily be and has previously been profiled as Mexican even though my genetic background is White European and Chinese.
So, please, try to remember that we do have a far more open-minded and aware generation here who doesn't believe in the crap our state and our voting majority is inflicting on us. We love our state, just not the decisions that are being made wholesale in and for it against our preferences.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Re: Elena Kagan. Do you remember when Janet Reno was appointed, rm? She even made some statement about "liking men" which I can't find now but WTF.

Surely, that's down to being over a certain age and not married and having short hair that's not coiffed in a femme sort of way and being into your career/accomplished.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I do, although I don't recall that statement in particular, although I'm not surprised. I think I find myself expecting Kagan to be bullied more on this, simply because she's short and physically softer seeming. Isn't that awful?

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I do too.

It's stereotyping women in the public eye in the worst way. If you don't wear lipstick and wield a curling iron, surely you're so butch omg. Like my mother-in-law.

I was in the military and had super-short hair, so I know this stereotype... but you know how femme I am. There's this algebra to femininity there -- if you don't wear makeup but have long hair in a French braid bun, you're presenting as straight. Play sports and don't wear makeup? Gay. Feminine but don't date? Snobby. Not traditionally feminine but don't date? Gay. Butch style but married? Beard For Benefits.

[natf.livejournal.com]

*points at your icon*
Best. Line. Ever. In. Anything. ;-p

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

She RULES!

I um, shipped her with John Hart. Look at their icons together! Red costumes and arse-kicking FTW!

[natf.livejournal.com]

*adds to TBR links* squee!

[tdanaher.livejournal.com]

Re: Elena Kagan. Do you remember when Janet Reno was appointed, rm? She even made some statement about "liking men" which I can't find now but WTF.

1993, Boca Raton News.

"Queer Nation held a news conference last week to assert that Reno's probably a lesbian, offering as evidence the fact that she's 54, childless and has never been married and that 'several reliable sources' say 'Reno's sexuality is 'common knowledge'.'"

It then goes on to describe the time when Reno was running against Florida lawyer John Thompson for Dade County DA. Here's what you're probably remembering.

"During the campaign, Thompson demanded repeatedly that Reno make her sexual orientation public and filed a ludicrous battery charge when, during a campaign event, she touched him on the shoulder, saying: 'I'm only interested in virile men. That's why I'm not attracted to you.'"

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

OH JANET.

I said much the same thing in 5th grade when a boy kept calling me a lesbian because I had short hair.

"Just because I don't like YOU doesn't mean I don't like boys." Which, actually, is true.

And then we played wall ball and forgot about it (but I didn't). I wasn't bothered at all by this, but if unsure or if I had felt a need to conceal my orientation to prevent bullying even if that age, I might have been very shaken-up by this.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

Janet Reno called herself a "Florida spinster", IIRC, and refused to name herself in relation to any sort of sexuality. Good for her.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Yeah!

She's pretty awesome.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

"It occurs to me that so much of the "Is Elena Kagan a lesbian?" discussion has very little to do with homosexuality, and everything to do with straight-up sexism."

Exactly. Regardless of her sexual orientation apparently a middle-aged single woman is nothing more than a freak show.

If you are a women over a certain age you are a freak if you 1)haven't been married or been in a long term relationship, 2)don't have children, 3)aren't preoccupied with getting into a relationship/marriage/making babies and 4)don't feel insecure about the lack of a partner/babies.

Has it never occurred to people that you can be any orientation under the sun and 1)not be having sex and (even more shocking) 2)not be terribly interested in having sex? Or that not everybody finds being in a relationship the primary goal of their lives. And really, there are happy, single people who are living lives that they find satisfying even if they don't spend every waking hour worrying about why they are 'still single.'

Now I would hope that the Congress has enough class that asking a nominee about their sexual orientation, their sex life, whether they're dating or any other related nutfuckery would be off limits. But given the tone of debate these days, nothing would surprise me.

And Eliot Spitzer, please STFU. We know you think you're an expert on all things sexual, but really, you're not helping here.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Patty and I were totally on about the Eliot Spitzer thing last night. There was so much wrong with it by smarmy implication it was AMAZING.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Having Eliot Spitzer as your sexual conduct character witness is kind of like having Charlie Sheen as your marriage counselor.

[malle-babbe.livejournal.com]

I also wonder if folks are jumping on to the "lesbian explanation" because that is the only way they can process a woman not paying attention to men, which is what I think is really bothering some people.

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

THIS.

[rackmount.livejournal.com]

As a survivor of a vicious high school and its later reunion, it probably won't be as bad/awkward as you think it will be. Age uglifies everyone, even the rich and worked-on. A set of good cheekbones like yours, which doesn't mean that much at 15, starts to be the holy grail of beauty as you age. Not that it should matter, but from a traditional beauty perspective, you are probably going to feel at least somewhat vindicated.

As for the apologies, those will probably end up being less awkward than all that. Having grown up with classical music, I was taught that when someone gives you a compliment, you merely say Thank You, and that is enough. To deride yourself is to deride the complimenter. I feel the same way about apologies. If you feel it, all you really have to say is "Apology accepted," if that's the way you feel. If not, my standard non-confrontational response is: It was a long time ago.

[5herlock.livejournal.com]

I'm not seeing how 'Tea Party Feminist' could really be an oxymoron. The people involved are so diverse that there are numerous opposites amongst them; it's not easy to lump them all together under one nasty description as many media outlets so desperately try to do.
Out of the Tea Partiers who attempt to sum up what they're all about, the vague but common themes seem to be about autonomy, responsibility, and self-determination - not really all that anti-feminist.

[lefaym.livejournal.com]

I have been greatly amused by the Cameron/Clegg RPS that British fandom people have been producing lately -- far better than that piece in the Guardian. :)

[austengirl.livejournal.com]

Ooh, have you got links to anything good? The Guardian piece was quite amateur. ;)

[lefaym.livejournal.com]

The two I've come across have been Coalition by rhaegal, and Lie Back and Think of England a United Britain by fides.

[aynatonal.livejournal.com]

Yes, but what *are* you going to wear?

[red-cortina.livejournal.com]

A very silly Guardian piece, but it's by no means the only media outlet which has been making Cameron/Clegg civil partnership comments. Worth bearing in mind, though, that last time the Conservatives were in power, not only were there no civil partnerships, but Section 28 was still in existence (it banned the "promotion" of homosexuality in schools, which effectively meant that if a pupil went to a teacher asking for advice about homosexuality, if the teacher gave it they could be prosecuted) and the age of consent for gay men was 21. There was no age of consent for lesbians - apparently this was because Queen Victoria didn't believe they existed!

[austengirl.livejournal.com]

Apparently the belief about Queen Victoria's assumption about the non-existence of lesbians has been disproven to some extent, possibly on QI, my favourite source for pop-culture bubble-bursting. I would like to find a better source for that info though.

I'm more than a little dismayed to learn that the new Home Secretary previously voted against the repeal of Section 28, to increase restrictions around abortion, and for the presence/involvement of a father in IVF treatment. Still, she's only the latest in a series of Home Secretaries who have come out with some fucked up social policy in the last decade, so I'll be watching with interest.

On a semi-related note, I learned from a recently-divorced friend that in legal terms, adultery is still only defined heterosexually. Thus, because she left her husband for a woman and not a man, the terms of the divorce were based on 'unreasonable behaviour', not adultery. I find that fascinating on several levels and wonder if/when the law will change to acknowledge same-sex affairs outside of marriage/partnership on equal terms with hetero affairs.

[red-cortina.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I thought that thing about Queen Victoria was possibly too amusing to be true, but was feeling to lazy to check so stuck in the "apparently" instead...

It's true that the Labour home secretaries have also been far from ideal. We'll have to see what she comes up with...

That's fascinating about divorce law -and totally mad.

[editrx.livejournal.com]

I attended only one NCS (National Cathedral School for Girls) reunion, though I've been around several of my classmates in DC in the last decade, since Elric was working down there (and even stayed with a good friend who was a classmate). It was ... interesting. One thing I found is even though they are all indeed richer and skinnier than me, they have aged so much more than me. I think partly it's the sun exposure on their ski holidays and beach holidays (idiots), partly it's the lifestyle. And partly, it's the meanness coming to the fore in their middle years, to put it bluntly.

They all look like bad parodies of their mothers. Right down to the DC Upper Class Women's Uniform. Nothing ever changes.

What amused me beyond even that, however, was how many of them were tripping over themselves to speak with me -- because they knew I worked in publishing. Yeah. Hah! If only they knew. I pretty much ignored it all and stuck with my one and only friend who was there.

I've been able to pull off the DC uniform of that class for many years, but I hate it and I don't have much of it anymore, so I wore sort of a combination, figuring I'm me, they hate me anyway, and fuck 'em. I enjoyed myself with the few people I knew and still liked, and ignored the rest. What can they do to me? Snub me out of their club? I was never part of their club; they made sure of that when we were kids. I have my own life, I like my life, I look at least a decade younger than any of them (and that must burn them!), and I don't have to deal with any of them on a regular basis -- so none of their reaction (mostly looking down their noses and snubbing) mattered.

While it was entertaining in a prurient sort of way, I didn't bother with another major reunion, no matter how much they've asked me to come (why? I have no idea -- maybe so they'd have more gossip fodder about the girl who never fit in and who isn't part of their class structure, sociologically [though I doubt they even think that way; that's beyond their ken -- they just know I'm not One of Them]).

I hope your reunion goes well -- we had, as we've discussed, very similar educational backgrounds as young girls, and I know how weird it can be going back.