"normal stories" vs. slash
May. 18th, 2010 06:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmDear Fandom:
It's time for us to have that talk again. You know the one, where I have to explain that queer people exist in places outside of the stories you write? Yeah, that one.
Look, when you say someone writes "both normal stories and slash" you are being offensive.
It doesn't matter if you meant to be offensive or not, you are still being offensive.
This, in and of itself, doesn't mean you're a bad person or a bigot or anything else. It may mean you were tired and made a sloppy choice in how you expressed yourself, or, because of homophobia you've seen or experienced tried to deflect a possible negative response and, in the process put your foot in it. When I tell you you're being offensive, don't tell me you didn't mean it; ask how you can do better, or, if you're confused, what in the hot hell I'm talking about.
While slash is not necessarily and should not necessarily be reflective of Real Gay Experience(tm), it still takes place in the world - both Watsonian and Doylist - where real queer people exist. Which means when you speak about slash stories being, by implication, abnormal, compared to stories without slash content, you are also implying that the stories of real queer people aren't normal.
Because here's the thing: my story, this one I'm writing right here, right now, in this journal and have been every day for ten years, is normal. Okay, maybe not the thing with the wacky 19th-century education and the amazing career where I get to play in, with and about media, but that stuff has nothing to do with my queerness.
Nah, the normal parts of my life look just like yours --
Sometimes I forget to pay the cable bill or eat all the awesome stuff in the fridge before it expires.
My partner and I sing embarrassing songs to the cats.
She's better at house cleaning than I am, and I would get the whole planet dry-cleaned once a week if I could.
Sometimes we're too tired to fuck; sometimes I wonder if the horrible techno the upstairs neighbors like to blast is vengeance for when we're not.
Once in a while, some asshole tourist stares at us on the subway and is super obvious about trying to get his wife to look at us; I'm pretty sure that happens to all New Yorkers whether they're gay or not.
I like to drag us off the beaten path for cupcakes.
She does nothing to discourage my habit of taking cabs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too often.
I check my email at the most inappropriate times.
She is ALWAYS reading a book.
I kiss her goodbye every morning before I go to work and we keep a giant calendar on a white board in the kitchen in a desperate attempt to keep track of our schedules.
We watch too much TV.
I don't drink enough water.
She eats way healthier than I do.
In short? NORMAL BORING STUFF THAT I SHOULD NOT BE WASTING AN LJ POST ON.
Don't warn for slash.
Don't say there are "normal" stories and "slash" stories.
Don't assume slash is or should be representative of Real Queer People(tm), but also don't assume it has no impact on us. Just because we're in fandom too, often reading and writing it, doesn't mean you're doing it right or can't be doing it better.
Slash and queerness are two pretty much entirely different cultures that overlap in the venn diagram in some weird and not typically massive way related to politics, reception, sexuality and culture. But for some of us they overlap rather more acutely than others (I met my gf in a slash fandom, thanks). So please stop acting like we can't hear you when you say fucked up shit or that we shouldn't have opinions about stuff that, particularly for fannish queer people, can't help but hit us where we live.
I could probably do with wearing a lot of warning labels. How about CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN MULTITUDES. MULTITUDES MAY HATE YOU? I like that one. I think it's cute. Anyway...
Warning labels: Queer isn't one of them. Not on the list. Don't need to warn anyone about it. If you think differently, that's so entirely your problem and not mine, I'm not sure I could say anything about that, that would get through to you ever.
So, seriously, why the fuck do you keep putting warnings like this on your stories1?
1 In the interest of full disclosure, you can, with great ease probably, find bunch of fic I've written that warns for slash. I also warn for het, poly, and pretty much anything that strikes me as amusing to warn for (sometimes I'm quite whimsical). Like many in fandom, I have, in the past, used warnings as advertisement. I no longer think this was a good plan and see how hurtful it can be when misconstrued. I'm slowly getting around to changing the headers on my old fic to reflect this belief. I'll still tell you what's in the tin to get you to read it, but it sure as fuck won't be a "warning."
It's time for us to have that talk again. You know the one, where I have to explain that queer people exist in places outside of the stories you write? Yeah, that one.
Look, when you say someone writes "both normal stories and slash" you are being offensive.
It doesn't matter if you meant to be offensive or not, you are still being offensive.
This, in and of itself, doesn't mean you're a bad person or a bigot or anything else. It may mean you were tired and made a sloppy choice in how you expressed yourself, or, because of homophobia you've seen or experienced tried to deflect a possible negative response and, in the process put your foot in it. When I tell you you're being offensive, don't tell me you didn't mean it; ask how you can do better, or, if you're confused, what in the hot hell I'm talking about.
While slash is not necessarily and should not necessarily be reflective of Real Gay Experience(tm), it still takes place in the world - both Watsonian and Doylist - where real queer people exist. Which means when you speak about slash stories being, by implication, abnormal, compared to stories without slash content, you are also implying that the stories of real queer people aren't normal.
Because here's the thing: my story, this one I'm writing right here, right now, in this journal and have been every day for ten years, is normal. Okay, maybe not the thing with the wacky 19th-century education and the amazing career where I get to play in, with and about media, but that stuff has nothing to do with my queerness.
Nah, the normal parts of my life look just like yours --
Sometimes I forget to pay the cable bill or eat all the awesome stuff in the fridge before it expires.
My partner and I sing embarrassing songs to the cats.
She's better at house cleaning than I am, and I would get the whole planet dry-cleaned once a week if I could.
Sometimes we're too tired to fuck; sometimes I wonder if the horrible techno the upstairs neighbors like to blast is vengeance for when we're not.
Once in a while, some asshole tourist stares at us on the subway and is super obvious about trying to get his wife to look at us; I'm pretty sure that happens to all New Yorkers whether they're gay or not.
I like to drag us off the beaten path for cupcakes.
She does nothing to discourage my habit of taking cabs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too often.
I check my email at the most inappropriate times.
She is ALWAYS reading a book.
I kiss her goodbye every morning before I go to work and we keep a giant calendar on a white board in the kitchen in a desperate attempt to keep track of our schedules.
We watch too much TV.
I don't drink enough water.
She eats way healthier than I do.
In short? NORMAL BORING STUFF THAT I SHOULD NOT BE WASTING AN LJ POST ON.
Don't warn for slash.
Don't say there are "normal" stories and "slash" stories.
Don't assume slash is or should be representative of Real Queer People(tm), but also don't assume it has no impact on us. Just because we're in fandom too, often reading and writing it, doesn't mean you're doing it right or can't be doing it better.
Slash and queerness are two pretty much entirely different cultures that overlap in the venn diagram in some weird and not typically massive way related to politics, reception, sexuality and culture. But for some of us they overlap rather more acutely than others (I met my gf in a slash fandom, thanks). So please stop acting like we can't hear you when you say fucked up shit or that we shouldn't have opinions about stuff that, particularly for fannish queer people, can't help but hit us where we live.
I could probably do with wearing a lot of warning labels. How about CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN MULTITUDES. MULTITUDES MAY HATE YOU? I like that one. I think it's cute. Anyway...
Warning labels: Queer isn't one of them. Not on the list. Don't need to warn anyone about it. If you think differently, that's so entirely your problem and not mine, I'm not sure I could say anything about that, that would get through to you ever.
So, seriously, why the fuck do you keep putting warnings like this on your stories1?
1 In the interest of full disclosure, you can, with great ease probably, find bunch of fic I've written that warns for slash. I also warn for het, poly, and pretty much anything that strikes me as amusing to warn for (sometimes I'm quite whimsical). Like many in fandom, I have, in the past, used warnings as advertisement. I no longer think this was a good plan and see how hurtful it can be when misconstrued. I'm slowly getting around to changing the headers on my old fic to reflect this belief. I'll still tell you what's in the tin to get you to read it, but it sure as fuck won't be a "warning."
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no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:23 pm (UTC)I'm so glad I'm not the only one!
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:23 pm (UTC)♥
Date: 2010-05-18 11:34 pm (UTC)Re: ♥
Date: 2010-05-18 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:36 pm (UTC)Dude. If you feel it needful to warn for boykissing in *Torchwood* fic? Mebbeso you need to find yourself another fandom.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:38 pm (UTC)Boykissing = normal.
Boykissing in Torchwood = NORMAL!!!!!1!!1!!
Re: ♥
Date: 2010-05-18 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:39 pm (UTC)Although I post "warnings" on any stories I write with explicitly naughty content, het or otherwise, just to be polite lest explicit naughtiness isn't the reader's bag.
(Yes, yes, such things should be obvious from whatever summary the ficcer posts. There should be a cure for the common cold, too, but I ain't holding my breath. Some ficcers are TERRIBLE at summarizing their work, I've noticed)
And since I'm one of those annoying folks who rarely writes non-naughty slash (*hangs head in shame*), the stories are going to carry "warnings". But, fwiw, I'm "warning" about naughty language/character-filth in general, not the presence of (gasp!) homosexual naughtiness in particular.
Blech, I'm not being clear. Lemme think on how to articulate this better.
ETA: should mention, in passing, that I've resolved to quit writing slash 'cos it's incredibly, incredibly arrogant of me. And, to be honest, there are enough mediocre slashficcers out there - no need for me to add to the heap!
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:41 pm (UTC)It's not that hard for the people who feel they need to make the type of alerts I'm complaining about to to replace "Warnings" with "Content" and not piss people off.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:42 pm (UTC)Oh my god, so true, so true, so very true. I'm normally a very placid person but that? Makes me gnash my teeth. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:43 pm (UTC)As far as I can gather, the only difference is that one is preceded by a "Warning", and the other by "Including"?
::thinks:: Wouldn't replacing "Warning:" and "Includes:" by a simple "Features:" list of tags, serve both functions with increased efficiency and less risk of offense?
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:45 pm (UTC)And I agree.
Next Gally, remind me to tell you how I thought I was going to get thrown off the boat at one point during the Alaska cruise. NEVER try to explain the concept of cisgender and male privilege to a couple of retirement-age folks. I thought I was going to get keelhauled...
(ETA: it all blew up when I got tired of the crew wishing me a happy Mother's Day and passengers asking where my husband was, as I'm still wearing the ring...)
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:45 pm (UTC)"Warning" implies the the things being warned for are subjects that reasonable people can be reasonably expected to have negative reactions to.
I'm sick of my sexual orientation being equated with "tragic character death" and "rape" among other things. Reasonable people should not be reasonably expected to be offended by the presence of homosexuality.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:51 pm (UTC)'includes' is simply a statement of fact, like an ingredients label. and you can read it and say, 'eww, not for me' and put it back on the shelf, or say, "yum! i want some now!"
see? entirely different experience all 'round.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-18 11:53 pm (UTC)Re: ♥
Date: 2010-05-18 11:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-19 12:06 am (UTC)Slash and het and threesomes are genres. Warnings are for specifics, like dub-con, non-con, things which may be triggery, and I can accept a warning for general NSFW pornalicious smut, as long as it's not implied that that genders of the participants is why it's being warned for.
and I would get the whole planet dry-cleaned once a week if I could.
If only this was possible!
no subject
Date: 2010-05-19 12:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-19 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-19 12:22 am (UTC)