"normal stories" vs. slash

[rm]

Dear Fandom:

It's time for us to have that talk again. You know the one, where I have to explain that queer people exist in places outside of the stories you write? Yeah, that one.

Look, when you say someone writes "both normal stories and slash" you are being offensive.

It doesn't matter if you meant to be offensive or not, you are still being offensive.

This, in and of itself, doesn't mean you're a bad person or a bigot or anything else. It may mean you were tired and made a sloppy choice in how you expressed yourself, or, because of homophobia you've seen or experienced tried to deflect a possible negative response and, in the process put your foot in it. When I tell you you're being offensive, don't tell me you didn't mean it; ask how you can do better, or, if you're confused, what in the hot hell I'm talking about.

While slash is not necessarily and should not necessarily be reflective of Real Gay Experience(tm), it still takes place in the world - both Watsonian and Doylist - where real queer people exist. Which means when you speak about slash stories being, by implication, abnormal, compared to stories without slash content, you are also implying that the stories of real queer people aren't normal.

Because here's the thing: my story, this one I'm writing right here, right now, in this journal and have been every day for ten years, is normal. Okay, maybe not the thing with the wacky 19th-century education and the amazing career where I get to play in, with and about media, but that stuff has nothing to do with my queerness.

Nah, the normal parts of my life look just like yours --

Sometimes I forget to pay the cable bill or eat all the awesome stuff in the fridge before it expires.

My partner and I sing embarrassing songs to the cats.

She's better at house cleaning than I am, and I would get the whole planet dry-cleaned once a week if I could.

Sometimes we're too tired to fuck; sometimes I wonder if the horrible techno the upstairs neighbors like to blast is vengeance for when we're not.

Once in a while, some asshole tourist stares at us on the subway and is super obvious about trying to get his wife to look at us; I'm pretty sure that happens to all New Yorkers whether they're gay or not.

I like to drag us off the beaten path for cupcakes.

She does nothing to discourage my habit of taking cabs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too often.

I check my email at the most inappropriate times.

She is ALWAYS reading a book.

I kiss her goodbye every morning before I go to work and we keep a giant calendar on a white board in the kitchen in a desperate attempt to keep track of our schedules.

We watch too much TV.

I don't drink enough water.

She eats way healthier than I do.

In short? NORMAL BORING STUFF THAT I SHOULD NOT BE WASTING AN LJ POST ON.

Don't warn for slash.

Don't say there are "normal" stories and "slash" stories.

Don't assume slash is or should be representative of Real Queer People(tm), but also don't assume it has no impact on us. Just because we're in fandom too, often reading and writing it, doesn't mean you're doing it right or can't be doing it better.

Slash and queerness are two pretty much entirely different cultures that overlap in the venn diagram in some weird and not typically massive way related to politics, reception, sexuality and culture. But for some of us they overlap rather more acutely than others (I met my gf in a slash fandom, thanks). So please stop acting like we can't hear you when you say fucked up shit or that we shouldn't have opinions about stuff that, particularly for fannish queer people, can't help but hit us where we live.

I could probably do with wearing a lot of warning labels. How about CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN MULTITUDES. MULTITUDES MAY HATE YOU? I like that one. I think it's cute. Anyway...

Warning labels: Queer isn't one of them. Not on the list. Don't need to warn anyone about it. If you think differently, that's so entirely your problem and not mine, I'm not sure I could say anything about that, that would get through to you ever.

So, seriously, why the fuck do you keep putting warnings like this on your stories¹?

---

¹ In the interest of full disclosure, you can, with great ease probably, find bunch of fic I've written that warns for slash. I also warn for het, poly, and pretty much anything that strikes me as amusing to warn for (sometimes I'm quite whimsical). Like many in fandom, I have, in the past, used warnings as advertisement. I no longer think this was a good plan and see how hurtful it can be when misconstrued. I'm slowly getting around to changing the headers on my old fic to reflect this belief. I'll still tell you what's in the tin to get you to read it, but it sure as fuck won't be a "warning."

Comments

[frakkin-addict.livejournal.com]

I really appreciate this. Thank you.

[1-mad-squirrel.livejournal.com]

My partner and I sing embarrassing songs to the cats.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

[rm.livejournal.com]

One of the cats only lets us pick her up if we're singing her stupid songs, so it's a challenge to see how long we can go before we crack up and she freaks out.

♥

[laufeyette.livejournal.com]

May I link, please?

Re: ♥

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yup, feel free.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

I actually once, my hand to ghod, came across a Jack/Ianto fic that warned for, and I quote, "boykissing."

Dude. If you feel it needful to warn for boykissing in *Torchwood* fic? Mebbeso you need to find yourself another fandom.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I've seen that warning. A lot. In that fandom. And it infuriates me.

Boykissing = normal.
Boykissing in Torchwood = NORMAL!!!!!1!!1!!

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Fair point.

Although I post "warnings" on any stories I write with explicitly naughty content, het or otherwise, just to be polite lest explicit naughtiness isn't the reader's bag.

(Yes, yes, such things should be obvious from whatever summary the ficcer posts. There should be a cure for the common cold, too, but I ain't holding my breath. Some ficcers are TERRIBLE at summarizing their work, I've noticed)

And since I'm one of those annoying folks who rarely writes non-naughty slash (*hangs head in shame*), the stories are going to carry "warnings". But, fwiw, I'm "warning" about naughty language/character-filth in general, not the presence of (gasp!) homosexual naughtiness in particular.

Blech, I'm not being clear. Lemme think on how to articulate this better.

ETA: should mention, in passing, that I've resolved to quit writing slash 'cos it's incredibly, incredibly arrogant of me. And, to be honest, there are enough mediocre slashficcers out there - no need for me to add to the heap!

[rm.livejournal.com]

Warning for "explicit sex," "non con" " bad language" etc. That all strikes me as not problematic. But do you know how often I see warnings for "M/M relationship" in a show with canonically queer characters? DAILY.

It's not that hard for the people who feel they need to make the type of alerts I'm complaining about to to replace "Warnings" with "Content" and not piss people off.

[mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com]

Don't warn for slash.

Oh my god, so true, so true, so very true. I'm normally a very placid person but that? Makes me gnash my teeth. Thank you.

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

Re your postscript: I don't see the distinction between a "What's in the tin to get you to read it" and a "Warning." Knowing what's in the tin might make someone more *or* less inclined to read a given story. It's valuable metadata.

As far as I can gather, the only difference is that one is preceded by a "Warning", and the other by "Including"?

::thinks:: Wouldn't replacing "Warning:" and "Includes:" by a simple "Features:" list of tags, serve both functions with increased efficiency and less risk of offense?

[rm.livejournal.com]

"Including" is value neutral.

"Warning" implies the the things being warned for are subjects that reasonable people can be reasonably expected to have negative reactions to.

I'm sick of my sexual orientation being equated with "tragic character death" and "rape" among other things. Reasonable people should not be reasonably expected to be offended by the presence of homosexuality.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Now of course I totally want to know what you sing to the cats. Hahah.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

People are still doing that? I guess they didn't get the memo. Jeez. I like it when it's addressed at a comm posting level. dark_fest informed users that warning for slash was NOT acceptable and I really liked that.

Slash and het and threesomes are genres. Warnings are for specifics, like dub-con, non-con, things which may be triggery, and I can accept a warning for general NSFW pornalicious smut, as long as it's not implied that that genders of the participants is why it's being warned for.

and I would get the whole planet dry-cleaned once a week if I could.

If only this was possible!

[rm.livejournal.com]

Today it was someone recommending several authors in a comment and warning the person that they write both "normal stories and slash." But yes, I still see the warnings ALL THE TIME.

[kindkit.livejournal.com]

Today I saw a story described as "slash free." I was charmed by the parallel to "fat free," "sugar free," and the like. "X free" always implies that X is A Bad Thing That You Should Be Avoiding.

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

And on that note - thank you for commenting to that writer. I was equally non-charmed by it's header popping up on my DW fist, and was glad to see both you and the anon say something.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Amen to this so much. I have no more to add except hailing this.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

I warned for broccoli once.

It was a good day. :)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Among other things, Kali and I have warned for "head in a jar".

[firinel.livejournal.com]

I guess I could kind of see "canon" vs "slash", but since, if I'm correct in what 'slash' means (same sex non-canon pairings, right?) then that still creates issue with assuming that the fandom's canon is heterosexual.

It makes me curious, though - if there are groups of people writing stories of characters which are explicitly straight in canon, as queer, then are there any groups of people writing stories of characters which are explicitly queer in their canons, as straight?

*very little idea about/experience fandom or slash or anything like that*

[rm.livejournal.com]

Slah originally meant non-canon same sex pairings. Part of that was a dearth of canon same sex pairings. Most of Torchwood fandom, as an example, however will refer to Jack/Ianto stories as slash and many of them will warn for said slash, despite Jack/Ianto being a canonical pairing.

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

I think I always assumed that people warning for slash in their headers were just being facetious/didn't want to deal with random idiots, but now that I think about it it is kind of problematic. I also tend to skim or ignore headers completely, which is probably why I never noticed this. "Contains" or "Includes" would make more sense.

I have, however, frequently been annoyed by authors saying that they write "slash and normal stories". In a way, it sort of seems like you shouldn't even need to say "I write slash and het stories." You should just write *stories*.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

Dunno; I can see saying something like, "I write slash, het, and gen," to illustrate a range. And if I were the one saying it, very likely the ordering would be most-to-least-frequent.

OTOH, I read very little fic and write less, so what do I know? :-)

[pocketmouse]

I tend to take it as a warning that this author is a moron, and I'd be happier skipping their stuff.

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

Yes, thank you.

What's a "normal" story, anyway?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

One where everyone stands up all the time? Thus being normal to the ground?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I don't write fanfic anymore.

But when I did, I warned for everything.
Warning: het, slash, songfic, children, poetry and cute animals.

Like you, I used them as advertisement.

These days, I write blurbs. And my stuff is published under explicitly GLBT lines. You don't buy Amber Allure books and not expect same-sex content.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

I have to confess that I did the m/m thing when I first started posting stories (cause everyone else seemed to and there didn't seem to be a rules to the road manuel) until someone pointed out exactly what you are saying. So I changed all my old headers and only give a rating G to NC-17 with a reason (explicit sex or violence) - because as you rightly point out people should expect that TW fics will have an omnisexual point of view. And yes to warnings of non-con or other triggering items.

But I hope you can help with a few things that I still struggle with.

-Should you warn for 'kinks' - and how do you distinguish between something a little avant garde and something that needs to warned about. Cause not everyone's line is the same.

-Is it appropriate to call non-canon same sex pairings 'slash' or is this inappropriate? Is it enough to say, non-canon pair and leave it at that?

-What can we do about fiction sights that REQUIRE these types of labels other than not post there? Some sights have a myriad of rules (enforced or not) about using labels that others find offensive.

Did I miss anything? Feel free to advise on anything else in a fiction header that really shouldn't be there. (Maybe a top ten list?).

And to borrow a phrase from you - what is it with the 'boykissing' label...that is so not on.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Requiring labeling and requiring warning are two different things. Seriously just say "includes". People know what's in the tin, but you're not putting a value judgment on queerness, kink or anything else.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

And I forgot to say - singing to the cats - uh you do that too? Do you have special songs for each cat? Or for different times of the day? (I think I may be providing WTMI on my interaction with my fur-kids).

[wordstuck.livejournal.com]

As soon as someone tells me what 'normal' is and how 'slash' actually differs from aforementioned normal, I'll make a decision. Until then, any story I write that has a physical relationship in it gets one thing in the notes: "It's NC-17, so if that bugs you, don't read. And if you're not old enough to read, don't. Or if you do, don't tell me."

[bare-bear.livejournal.com]

I must've missed your other posts where you discuss this. I've never considered that warning for slash was offensive. I mean, I can totally see how it is, and I feel awful that I've never considered it before. I think I just don't really pay much attention to the warning headers beyond things I'm not in the mood to read (sometimes you're just not in the mood for angst). Thank you for bringing this up.

[rm.livejournal.com]

It's one of those things that's often an inadvertent offense (hell, as I note, I used to do it). People can say "well, I warn for het too" but it means something different when people warn for het; after all I've never had a beer bottle thrown at me for holding hands with a man.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Sometimes we're too tired to fuck; sometimes I wonder if the horrible techno the upstairs neighbors like to blast is vengeance for when we're not.

This SO sounds like something you would read in 'A Softer World'.

[sunhawk.livejournal.com]

This reminds me I should go check my earliest fics to see how I worded myself though I distinctly remember at the time that anytime the word "warning" was used, it was meant as a sarcastic "warning" to the homophobic fans who just couldn't shut up about how Horrible and Not True Fans we were, to try to get them off our backs and stop reading our fics and then flipping out. That said, of course intention is largely irrelevant and things have changed, sometimes I'm amazed at how much things have changed since I first started writing slash more than ten years ago.

[tears-of-nienna.livejournal.com]

I don't actually have anything to add to the conversation at large (except: WORD!). But your icon totally made my day.

[usullusa.livejournal.com]

This times five million. Please never stop being awesome.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Yes, the distinction between "normal stories" and "slash" is very offensive.
Very.

The evolution of slash along with the media has been interesting, I remember being surprised by television having same-sex kissing, now I'm just happy it exists stations that aren't just cable teevee (my first canon slash was OZ and, um, yeah). And was really amazed to see (some) of the stuff I've read right there on the screen.

It really bothers me when people treat slash as a warning and not as a genre! Slash, like het, like gen, is a genre of certain character dynamics! Putting a genre in the warning, as you say, creates a value judgement. It's like when they give higher ratings in movies that have full frontal male nudity, but not full frontal female nudity (and male/male sex scenes, but not f/f or f/m).