"normal stories" vs. slash

[rm]

Dear Fandom:

It's time for us to have that talk again. You know the one, where I have to explain that queer people exist in places outside of the stories you write? Yeah, that one.

Look, when you say someone writes "both normal stories and slash" you are being offensive.

It doesn't matter if you meant to be offensive or not, you are still being offensive.

This, in and of itself, doesn't mean you're a bad person or a bigot or anything else. It may mean you were tired and made a sloppy choice in how you expressed yourself, or, because of homophobia you've seen or experienced tried to deflect a possible negative response and, in the process put your foot in it. When I tell you you're being offensive, don't tell me you didn't mean it; ask how you can do better, or, if you're confused, what in the hot hell I'm talking about.

While slash is not necessarily and should not necessarily be reflective of Real Gay Experience(tm), it still takes place in the world - both Watsonian and Doylist - where real queer people exist. Which means when you speak about slash stories being, by implication, abnormal, compared to stories without slash content, you are also implying that the stories of real queer people aren't normal.

Because here's the thing: my story, this one I'm writing right here, right now, in this journal and have been every day for ten years, is normal. Okay, maybe not the thing with the wacky 19th-century education and the amazing career where I get to play in, with and about media, but that stuff has nothing to do with my queerness.

Nah, the normal parts of my life look just like yours --

Sometimes I forget to pay the cable bill or eat all the awesome stuff in the fridge before it expires.

My partner and I sing embarrassing songs to the cats.

She's better at house cleaning than I am, and I would get the whole planet dry-cleaned once a week if I could.

Sometimes we're too tired to fuck; sometimes I wonder if the horrible techno the upstairs neighbors like to blast is vengeance for when we're not.

Once in a while, some asshole tourist stares at us on the subway and is super obvious about trying to get his wife to look at us; I'm pretty sure that happens to all New Yorkers whether they're gay or not.

I like to drag us off the beaten path for cupcakes.

She does nothing to discourage my habit of taking cabs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too often.

I check my email at the most inappropriate times.

She is ALWAYS reading a book.

I kiss her goodbye every morning before I go to work and we keep a giant calendar on a white board in the kitchen in a desperate attempt to keep track of our schedules.

We watch too much TV.

I don't drink enough water.

She eats way healthier than I do.

In short? NORMAL BORING STUFF THAT I SHOULD NOT BE WASTING AN LJ POST ON.

Don't warn for slash.

Don't say there are "normal" stories and "slash" stories.

Don't assume slash is or should be representative of Real Queer People(tm), but also don't assume it has no impact on us. Just because we're in fandom too, often reading and writing it, doesn't mean you're doing it right or can't be doing it better.

Slash and queerness are two pretty much entirely different cultures that overlap in the venn diagram in some weird and not typically massive way related to politics, reception, sexuality and culture. But for some of us they overlap rather more acutely than others (I met my gf in a slash fandom, thanks). So please stop acting like we can't hear you when you say fucked up shit or that we shouldn't have opinions about stuff that, particularly for fannish queer people, can't help but hit us where we live.

I could probably do with wearing a lot of warning labels. How about CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN MULTITUDES. MULTITUDES MAY HATE YOU? I like that one. I think it's cute. Anyway...

Warning labels: Queer isn't one of them. Not on the list. Don't need to warn anyone about it. If you think differently, that's so entirely your problem and not mine, I'm not sure I could say anything about that, that would get through to you ever.

So, seriously, why the fuck do you keep putting warnings like this on your stories¹?

---

¹ In the interest of full disclosure, you can, with great ease probably, find bunch of fic I've written that warns for slash. I also warn for het, poly, and pretty much anything that strikes me as amusing to warn for (sometimes I'm quite whimsical). Like many in fandom, I have, in the past, used warnings as advertisement. I no longer think this was a good plan and see how hurtful it can be when misconstrued. I'm slowly getting around to changing the headers on my old fic to reflect this belief. I'll still tell you what's in the tin to get you to read it, but it sure as fuck won't be a "warning."

Comments

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Warning for 'canon' and 'non-canon' seems reasonable to me, especially since the latter does upset a lot of purists. But even there the line is fuzzy. (Is Jeeves/Wooster *really* all that non-canonical? I could make the point that some of the slash I've seen differs from canon only in having any mention of sex at all, not in the pairing.)

[margi-lynn.livejournal.com]

This! Arguably the talking about the sex, not the sex itself is the non-canonical part of Jeeves and Wooster.

[elisi]

This is a very good post. I must admit that it's not something I've ever thought of particularly, and I am very grateful to you for opening my eyes.

That said, it strikes me as v. odd to 'warn' for slash - if the pairing is m/m then the slash aspect goes without saying, I should think. And I don't really read femslash, but now I'm wondering if there are Willow/Tara stories out there that use warnings like this... As for slash in the Buffy 'verse, then the warnings are usually for stuff like bloodplay, BDSM, torture etc. Vampires are kinky, the smexing is generally the least of it.

Personally I've warned for an *absence* of sex (it was a AtS/TW crossover fic, and I felt that I ought to explain that no, it didn't end in an orgy...), for 'disturbingness' (Spike/Dawn. Very disturbing) and for 'fluffy non-con' (alien sex pollen. Also crack!fic).

Anyway, I'm waffling. Thank you again, will go and rec this now.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

Yes, there's Willow/Tara fic that warns for femslash. Just about as mind-bogglingly stupid (on top of offensive) as warning for slash in Torchwood.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this.

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

I'd like to link, if that's ok.

One of the things I have found most vexing about several archives is listing slash under warnings. I wonder if the major archives standardize re: genre v. warning, and do so mindfully (ie remove slash from warnings, where it's certainly never belonged), if awareness will trickle down to those who are merely following a pattern and not thinking about what things say and what they mean (and what that, in turn, says and means).

I don't know if that's the case, but I wonder.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Totally okay.

I remember when I first got into fandom online it was a standard that if a fic involved two men kissing it had to be rated R or a lot of archives would remove it, even if the same scene was PG in a het story. We've mostly lost that double standard, I think, but a lot of other weird, not okay stuff persists.

[doro-chan.livejournal.com]

I post on an archive that has slash ratings and ratings for everything else. A lot of slash and gen writers have been complaining about this for a long time, but the admins don't really think it has priority. It's infuriating. Slash doesn't need to be singled out any more than gen or het do, from a reader's POV. (Trying to find gen among all the het isn't really all that easy.)

[rm.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear people are complaining. Can I ask what fandom or archive this is out of curiosity?

[plaid-slytherin.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this. This has always been one of my pet peeves, and there's nothing I hate more in fandom than when people feel the need to put "NO SLASH" (it's always in all-caps, isn't it?) in their summaries. (I feel this is more common on FF.net than LJ, but still...)

[ojuzu.livejournal.com]

God, yes. Also all the people who feel the need to mention that they never, ever read slash. In, say, the author's note of a genfic. -_-

Linked from elisi

[arclevel.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with all the points you're making, but I can't really agree with your feelings about "warnings," in particular. First, though personally I've never seen anyone use the phrase "slash and normal stories," I absolutely agree that it's blatantly offensive, regardless of other context.

I suppose my issue is just that, in my experience, many authors use the word "warning" for everything, be it good, bad, or neutral. I've seen people warn for gen, for realism, for silliness, and so forth. I'm also one of those people where I frequently use someone's "warnings" as advertisements, especially if I'm in a certain mood. In that, and maybe it has a lot to do with who I read, I tend not to take anyone's "warnings" as an actual expression *of* warning. As others have said, I read it the same as if it were phrased as "content," except that sometimes it's more whimsical.

A lot of what is warned for seems to be fandom-specific, or specific to parts of the fandom. I can see where slash and het are not treated as equals, though. People definitely warn for slash *more* than they do for het, and I think a lot of the reason to "warn" for it, at least in earlier years, was because it was a lot less common, and homophobic people would read the story, freak out and flame the authors. In that way, I think the "warning" was meant in hopes that homophobic people would just avoid the story and skip the flaming step. In that case, I can see why authors who genuinely saw nothing abnormal, weird, or dangerous in same-sex relationships would still "warn" for it (and mean it as a genuine warning). That said, the original intention doesn't mean that a gay person wouldn't read the abnormal/weird implications, thus making it offensive, and I think fandom's at a point where that scenario's probably pretty rare, anyway. (This isn't even touching on the whole stupid concept of "pre-slash" that was especially huge when I was in the Harry Potter fandom.)

It's entirely possible that the main reason I read warnings without the offensive implications, is because I'm straight, and while I'm a lot more attuned to moderate and subtle homophobia than most people I know, it still doesn't affect me emotionally the way it would if I were not straight (another form of privilege, basically).

It's probable that we *should* switch to "contains" rather than "warning," since it's more neutral. That could also help simplify other issues of what should be "warned" for, like various consensual kinks* and character death and so on. (One thing that will almost always bother me and turn me from a story is infidelity, which I've almost never seen warned for.) Unfortunately, I don't see fandom switching any time soon. FTR, I almost never write anything. But if I do, I'll make a point of not "warning" for anything.


*Re: my phrasing of "consensual kink" -- there's probably an interesting discussion waiting about fandom's classification of dubious- and non-consensual sex acts as "kinks." I suppose we could simplify by saying that it's a kink for the *reader*, rather than for the characters.


tl-dr version: I understand what you're saying and agree with the underlying points, but in the bulk of cases I don't find slash warnings especially offensive.

Re: Linked from elisi

[rm.livejournal.com]

It's exactly the unconscious, not really meaning it, warnings have a different connotation in fandom, etc that thing that you accurately describe that in my eyes helps to create a pervasive problem and negative message about queer people and queer content, even amongst people who are queer-friendly or queer themselves.

The low-level noise that separates queer people and content from the heteronormative world is one of those death by a thousand papercuts things. But it adds up on a massive scale, especially when it sits right next to the whole thing where people conflate writing slash with gay activism, which is a separate rant that I've also done before.

Thank you for being aware of your privilege in your response and taking the time to engage.

[nonlinearmusing.livejournal.com]

Well said.

It's just too bad that you had to say it. I just *hope* that the inspiration for this post has read and taken notes.

[austengirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this. I co-mod a community which has some RPS and while I can't recall any instances of a writer warning for slash in that comm, I'm going to go back and have a look. May I link to this?

Slightly at a tangent...

[legionseagle (from livejournal.com)]

One of the most offensive things that I ever encountered in fandom was when rj_anderson specifically "exempted" (her word) a full-length Neville/Draco novel I'd written "from the slash genre". Basically, what she wanted to do was to be able to classify slash as poorly written exploitative porn, and when she came across my story which attempted to deal reasonably honestly (albeit probably full of fail on lots of levels) with a gay relationship in a hostile wizarding world she didn't want to change her definition of slash, so she redefined her definition of my novel. And she was absolutely flabbergasted when I found not being treated as slash as an insult rather than the compliment she had intended.

Re: Slightly at a tangent...

[cysfics.livejournal.com]

How... what?

The rudeness of that really boggles my mind. The absurdity of it as well. I'm sorry you had to deal with something like that.

[springinstep.livejournal.com]

Awesome post.

I stopped warning for slash recently in my fic. Just can't believe it took me so long to do so considering I agree with everything in your post and would have done a few years ago as well

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Like I said in my footnote, because I was doing in jest along with a lot of random other things, I wasn't quite getting it either, but the fact is, I'm not an exception to the rule, and I can't expect other people to read my mind in terms of intent. There are times and places for reclaiming words (you'll note I like to use the word queer), but this isn't one where it works.

[ojuzu.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[saekhwa.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this. I've seen a resurgence of warning for slash and femslash, and it makes me want to stab things.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

when you say someone writes "both normal stories and slash" you are being offensive

Thank you. You'd think that the longer I spend in fandom, the more I'd just get innured to that sort of thing, but I've found instead that as time goes by, it's started making me grind my teeth harder and harder.

[cysfics.livejournal.com]

This was a wonderful essay. Thank you for it.

Have you ever found yourself self censoring? I've been writing more genderqueer characters lately, and gender-atypical (hurray for ambiguous canon!), and the other night I actually sat for a good ten minutes wondering if I should warn for it or not. On the one hand, I know there are some folk who would be upset that there were girl parts mixed up in their glorious yaoi/slash. On the other hand... why does a trans person (such as myself?) need a warning in the first place? Do I need to give a warning when I write poetry about myself (other than for vulgarity graphic sex-type things, which I see the need for, if only to keep the folk who read my stuff from getting fired at their respective jobs).

And wow, this turned out a lot more ramble-y than I intended it to be. Sorry for bothering you, I'll go back to my lurking now.

[michelel72.livejournal.com]

Here via metafandom. Thanks for making this point.

My first fic had "warnings" that weren't: "Just some kissing and mild cursing, plus breakup of a canon couple". All the couples, FWIW, happened to be het. I'll be changing that when I get to it, because I now use warnings exclusively for squick/trigger content. There are other categories for informational content — the characters/pairings list, the "rating" information, a "notes" section. Then again, I'm a big fan of the "headers of doom" approach, so.

A good friend of mine just got back into fanfic after an absence of about ten years. She's not in my fandom, but I mentioned a cute story and sent her the link. She later informed me that "in her day", preslash required warnings, her tone indicating that she thought that should still be the case. Preslash. As in, one guy pining for another (oblivious) guy. We're having a very slow, very careful conversation on the topic; she's gradually getting the point that I don't appreciate her casual slurs against queerness and that she's a little more prejudiced than she realizes. It's a touchy situation, but I like to think it's gradually getting better.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right. Have you asked her how she'd feel if Pining Guy felt that way about a woman-- would she think that would require a warning too?

ETA, 'cause I just thought of it: Back when I started posting (and that would be more than a decade ago), I didn't warn at all and I saw a lot of people who did the same thing.

[fiwen1010.livejournal.com]

Fantastic post, so very true

I warn for slash only when I'm posting it to the big communities on Facebook, where I am a regular and frequently jump on people who say that slash is bad, wrong and icky and sort of slightly yell at them. Politely... ish. Then I warn, because I write for people I like, and I don't like people who object to queerness in any form.
Actually, I'm very bad at warning in general, checking my five most recent stories reveals that the only warning I've given at the start of a story is for gratuitous use of cliches. I think I once warned for het as well... a long time back. And the only thing I've been told off for is making Russia into bad guys *shrugs* People actually cope with this sort of stuff remarkably well.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you. But can't you tell people it's slash without using the word "warning" which then reinforces other people unconscious (or not) homophobia?

"Warning: Slash" and "Contents: Slash" convey two difference messages.

[(Anonymous)]

What about people who, when they write normal story, actually mean normalized story, as in "heteronormative"? I've often seen that shortened to normal, which is read quite quite a sneery slant. It's sarcasm, to mock the phobes. As a queer person, I don't think using sarcasm in that way is unreasonable.

As for warnings: There are fandoms where, if you don't warn about queer content, you will cause heavy flamewars at best. What should we do, then? Get flamed and harassed just for the sake of not warning? Fandom isn't supposed to be a daily fight, you know.

[aine-silveria.livejournal.com]

I. Huh. I don't write fanfic much at all. My one big fandom, you could make a case for everyone being queer canonically, heh. And I apparently missed the fandom update that slash is an all-inclusive term for queer sexytimes (that's how I'm reading it anyway, please correct me if I'm wrong!), since I thought it was a term just for male/male sex. Failure on my part.

Really, I never would have thought of this as offensive, not until it was pointed out. So thank you. And I will have to remember to say it in an 'includes' sense, instead of a 'warning' sense. Which, I see is a very small, but incredibly significant difference.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I have to admit I used to think it was OK to warn for slash as long as I warned equally for het. (I write mostly het but a fair amount of slash too.) Now with my thinking clarified (due to patient people such as yourself) I no longer do that. However I also have a ton of old stuff that I'm gradually trying to change.

Wow, this comes off more like a confession than a post, but I'm just saying I hope people won't judge me based on my old headers.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I have all sorts of sketchy old headers too (footnote confession, very sincere), so it's all good.

[(Anonymous)]

....sans context, I would read "so and so writes normal stories and slash" as saying that they don't write het.

The fact that there are people using 'normal' to mean something other than 'gen' is something I'm having a little trouble wrapping my brain around.

Belated but relevant

[penguineggs.livejournal.com]

Via a couple of tenuous links I came across this today. It's an invite to a (serious, in that there's prestige and a prize associated, and the people involved are well known SFF players) fan-fic contest. Anything is allowed - except slash. I imagine the promoters of the contest really have no idea what "anything" means in fanfic terms, but it struck me as extraordinarily offensive.

Re: Belated but relevant

[rm.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'd seen the context in passing, didn't notice that... and wow. WOW.

Thank you.

[baka-kit.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I missed this the first time around but ... I'm also glad I'm not the only one who sings to my cat.

TTO hush little baby:

Hey little fuzzy, let's make some noise
Mama has got you lots of toys.

Followed by a listing of all her toys that are in view.

[icicle33]

Wow, I never thought of a warning for slash as being offensive, but you are completely right. I'm going to change this on any of my previous stories and for future stories. There is no such thing as normal stories vs slash stories, just like there's no distinction between different types of love. I find that even more ludicrous, there's only one type of love. People are ridiculous.

Anyway, thank you for sharing this with the fandom.


*Also, you and your partner seem ridiculously adorable. I would love to hear some cat songs.