"normal stories" vs. slash
May. 18th, 2010 06:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmDear Fandom:
It's time for us to have that talk again. You know the one, where I have to explain that queer people exist in places outside of the stories you write? Yeah, that one.
Look, when you say someone writes "both normal stories and slash" you are being offensive.
It doesn't matter if you meant to be offensive or not, you are still being offensive.
This, in and of itself, doesn't mean you're a bad person or a bigot or anything else. It may mean you were tired and made a sloppy choice in how you expressed yourself, or, because of homophobia you've seen or experienced tried to deflect a possible negative response and, in the process put your foot in it. When I tell you you're being offensive, don't tell me you didn't mean it; ask how you can do better, or, if you're confused, what in the hot hell I'm talking about.
While slash is not necessarily and should not necessarily be reflective of Real Gay Experience(tm), it still takes place in the world - both Watsonian and Doylist - where real queer people exist. Which means when you speak about slash stories being, by implication, abnormal, compared to stories without slash content, you are also implying that the stories of real queer people aren't normal.
Because here's the thing: my story, this one I'm writing right here, right now, in this journal and have been every day for ten years, is normal. Okay, maybe not the thing with the wacky 19th-century education and the amazing career where I get to play in, with and about media, but that stuff has nothing to do with my queerness.
Nah, the normal parts of my life look just like yours --
Sometimes I forget to pay the cable bill or eat all the awesome stuff in the fridge before it expires.
My partner and I sing embarrassing songs to the cats.
She's better at house cleaning than I am, and I would get the whole planet dry-cleaned once a week if I could.
Sometimes we're too tired to fuck; sometimes I wonder if the horrible techno the upstairs neighbors like to blast is vengeance for when we're not.
Once in a while, some asshole tourist stares at us on the subway and is super obvious about trying to get his wife to look at us; I'm pretty sure that happens to all New Yorkers whether they're gay or not.
I like to drag us off the beaten path for cupcakes.
She does nothing to discourage my habit of taking cabs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too often.
I check my email at the most inappropriate times.
She is ALWAYS reading a book.
I kiss her goodbye every morning before I go to work and we keep a giant calendar on a white board in the kitchen in a desperate attempt to keep track of our schedules.
We watch too much TV.
I don't drink enough water.
She eats way healthier than I do.
In short? NORMAL BORING STUFF THAT I SHOULD NOT BE WASTING AN LJ POST ON.
Don't warn for slash.
Don't say there are "normal" stories and "slash" stories.
Don't assume slash is or should be representative of Real Queer People(tm), but also don't assume it has no impact on us. Just because we're in fandom too, often reading and writing it, doesn't mean you're doing it right or can't be doing it better.
Slash and queerness are two pretty much entirely different cultures that overlap in the venn diagram in some weird and not typically massive way related to politics, reception, sexuality and culture. But for some of us they overlap rather more acutely than others (I met my gf in a slash fandom, thanks). So please stop acting like we can't hear you when you say fucked up shit or that we shouldn't have opinions about stuff that, particularly for fannish queer people, can't help but hit us where we live.
I could probably do with wearing a lot of warning labels. How about CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN MULTITUDES. MULTITUDES MAY HATE YOU? I like that one. I think it's cute. Anyway...
Warning labels: Queer isn't one of them. Not on the list. Don't need to warn anyone about it. If you think differently, that's so entirely your problem and not mine, I'm not sure I could say anything about that, that would get through to you ever.
So, seriously, why the fuck do you keep putting warnings like this on your stories1?
1 In the interest of full disclosure, you can, with great ease probably, find bunch of fic I've written that warns for slash. I also warn for het, poly, and pretty much anything that strikes me as amusing to warn for (sometimes I'm quite whimsical). Like many in fandom, I have, in the past, used warnings as advertisement. I no longer think this was a good plan and see how hurtful it can be when misconstrued. I'm slowly getting around to changing the headers on my old fic to reflect this belief. I'll still tell you what's in the tin to get you to read it, but it sure as fuck won't be a "warning."
It's time for us to have that talk again. You know the one, where I have to explain that queer people exist in places outside of the stories you write? Yeah, that one.
Look, when you say someone writes "both normal stories and slash" you are being offensive.
It doesn't matter if you meant to be offensive or not, you are still being offensive.
This, in and of itself, doesn't mean you're a bad person or a bigot or anything else. It may mean you were tired and made a sloppy choice in how you expressed yourself, or, because of homophobia you've seen or experienced tried to deflect a possible negative response and, in the process put your foot in it. When I tell you you're being offensive, don't tell me you didn't mean it; ask how you can do better, or, if you're confused, what in the hot hell I'm talking about.
While slash is not necessarily and should not necessarily be reflective of Real Gay Experience(tm), it still takes place in the world - both Watsonian and Doylist - where real queer people exist. Which means when you speak about slash stories being, by implication, abnormal, compared to stories without slash content, you are also implying that the stories of real queer people aren't normal.
Because here's the thing: my story, this one I'm writing right here, right now, in this journal and have been every day for ten years, is normal. Okay, maybe not the thing with the wacky 19th-century education and the amazing career where I get to play in, with and about media, but that stuff has nothing to do with my queerness.
Nah, the normal parts of my life look just like yours --
Sometimes I forget to pay the cable bill or eat all the awesome stuff in the fridge before it expires.
My partner and I sing embarrassing songs to the cats.
She's better at house cleaning than I am, and I would get the whole planet dry-cleaned once a week if I could.
Sometimes we're too tired to fuck; sometimes I wonder if the horrible techno the upstairs neighbors like to blast is vengeance for when we're not.
Once in a while, some asshole tourist stares at us on the subway and is super obvious about trying to get his wife to look at us; I'm pretty sure that happens to all New Yorkers whether they're gay or not.
I like to drag us off the beaten path for cupcakes.
She does nothing to discourage my habit of taking cabs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too often.
I check my email at the most inappropriate times.
She is ALWAYS reading a book.
I kiss her goodbye every morning before I go to work and we keep a giant calendar on a white board in the kitchen in a desperate attempt to keep track of our schedules.
We watch too much TV.
I don't drink enough water.
She eats way healthier than I do.
In short? NORMAL BORING STUFF THAT I SHOULD NOT BE WASTING AN LJ POST ON.
Don't warn for slash.
Don't say there are "normal" stories and "slash" stories.
Don't assume slash is or should be representative of Real Queer People(tm), but also don't assume it has no impact on us. Just because we're in fandom too, often reading and writing it, doesn't mean you're doing it right or can't be doing it better.
Slash and queerness are two pretty much entirely different cultures that overlap in the venn diagram in some weird and not typically massive way related to politics, reception, sexuality and culture. But for some of us they overlap rather more acutely than others (I met my gf in a slash fandom, thanks). So please stop acting like we can't hear you when you say fucked up shit or that we shouldn't have opinions about stuff that, particularly for fannish queer people, can't help but hit us where we live.
I could probably do with wearing a lot of warning labels. How about CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN MULTITUDES. MULTITUDES MAY HATE YOU? I like that one. I think it's cute. Anyway...
Warning labels: Queer isn't one of them. Not on the list. Don't need to warn anyone about it. If you think differently, that's so entirely your problem and not mine, I'm not sure I could say anything about that, that would get through to you ever.
So, seriously, why the fuck do you keep putting warnings like this on your stories1?
1 In the interest of full disclosure, you can, with great ease probably, find bunch of fic I've written that warns for slash. I also warn for het, poly, and pretty much anything that strikes me as amusing to warn for (sometimes I'm quite whimsical). Like many in fandom, I have, in the past, used warnings as advertisement. I no longer think this was a good plan and see how hurtful it can be when misconstrued. I'm slowly getting around to changing the headers on my old fic to reflect this belief. I'll still tell you what's in the tin to get you to read it, but it sure as fuck won't be a "warning."
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Linked from elisi
Date: 2010-05-19 11:58 pm (UTC)I suppose my issue is just that, in my experience, many authors use the word "warning" for everything, be it good, bad, or neutral. I've seen people warn for gen, for realism, for silliness, and so forth. I'm also one of those people where I frequently use someone's "warnings" as advertisements, especially if I'm in a certain mood. In that, and maybe it has a lot to do with who I read, I tend not to take anyone's "warnings" as an actual expression *of* warning. As others have said, I read it the same as if it were phrased as "content," except that sometimes it's more whimsical.
A lot of what is warned for seems to be fandom-specific, or specific to parts of the fandom. I can see where slash and het are not treated as equals, though. People definitely warn for slash *more* than they do for het, and I think a lot of the reason to "warn" for it, at least in earlier years, was because it was a lot less common, and homophobic people would read the story, freak out and flame the authors. In that way, I think the "warning" was meant in hopes that homophobic people would just avoid the story and skip the flaming step. In that case, I can see why authors who genuinely saw nothing abnormal, weird, or dangerous in same-sex relationships would still "warn" for it (and mean it as a genuine warning). That said, the original intention doesn't mean that a gay person wouldn't read the abnormal/weird implications, thus making it offensive, and I think fandom's at a point where that scenario's probably pretty rare, anyway. (This isn't even touching on the whole stupid concept of "pre-slash" that was especially huge when I was in the Harry Potter fandom.)
It's entirely possible that the main reason I read warnings without the offensive implications, is because I'm straight, and while I'm a lot more attuned to moderate and subtle homophobia than most people I know, it still doesn't affect me emotionally the way it would if I were not straight (another form of privilege, basically).
It's probable that we *should* switch to "contains" rather than "warning," since it's more neutral. That could also help simplify other issues of what should be "warned" for, like various consensual kinks* and character death and so on. (One thing that will almost always bother me and turn me from a story is infidelity, which I've almost never seen warned for.) Unfortunately, I don't see fandom switching any time soon. FTR, I almost never write anything. But if I do, I'll make a point of not "warning" for anything.
*Re: my phrasing of "consensual kink" -- there's probably an interesting discussion waiting about fandom's classification of dubious- and non-consensual sex acts as "kinks." I suppose we could simplify by saying that it's a kink for the *reader*, rather than for the characters.
tl-dr version: I understand what you're saying and agree with the underlying points, but in the bulk of cases I don't find slash warnings especially offensive.
Re: Linked from elisi
Date: 2010-05-20 12:05 am (UTC)The low-level noise that separates queer people and content from the heteronormative world is one of those death by a thousand papercuts things. But it adds up on a massive scale, especially when it sits right next to the whole thing where people conflate writing slash with gay activism, which is a separate rant that I've also done before.
Thank you for being aware of your privilege in your response and taking the time to engage.