on helping people
Jun. 2nd, 2010 03:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmI've been trying to avoid this situation for a while, and it's not working.
I try to post links when people need help because I have a friendslist of 1,100 people, some of whom actually read this thing and some of whom on given days in given circumstances are willing and able to provide assistance, whether that's financial, logistical, advice, etc.
And I don't really have a system for posting those things. If I see something that seems like a problem the Internet can solve, I tend to post it, although sometimes I forget (i.e., the now more awful than it was before case of the late Steve Perry).
I can't vet everything for a scam, because, hey, I'm not a private detective. And what seems a worthy cause or a good plan to me may not seem one to you. That's cool. That's how it goes. I have the luxury of making a mistake with my $5. A lot of people don't. And a lot of people who do, don't want to. That's all chill. And way not my business.
What's not chill is stuff where I'm being insulted or told I must do something or told I must do something in a certain way (all of which has happened lately mostly in private communication. What this isn't is me harshing on anyone's public, cordial skepticism. Charity doesn't work without skeptics and vetting, and those functions are important too. This is a response to both a too-much-email problem and a nastygram problem).
Whether you engage with these things or not, isn't my business. And whether I donate or not in these circumstances, isn't yours (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't). And certainly, I never, ever want to mislead anyone.
But now I'm getting not only an increase in requests, but an increase in criticism about what I both do and don't link to, and that isn't helping anyone.
Additionally, I'm keenly aware that too many such things dilutes the level of action people are willing to take, which also falls into the area of "not helping."
So here's the new rules, which quite frankly are about the same as the old rules, other than I'm going to say "no" a lot more (something which, frankly, annoys me to have to do):
And yes, I still have to do ALL THE HTML EVER to put together that awesome list of charities I had you all recommend a while back.
Any questions?
I try to post links when people need help because I have a friendslist of 1,100 people, some of whom actually read this thing and some of whom on given days in given circumstances are willing and able to provide assistance, whether that's financial, logistical, advice, etc.
And I don't really have a system for posting those things. If I see something that seems like a problem the Internet can solve, I tend to post it, although sometimes I forget (i.e., the now more awful than it was before case of the late Steve Perry).
I can't vet everything for a scam, because, hey, I'm not a private detective. And what seems a worthy cause or a good plan to me may not seem one to you. That's cool. That's how it goes. I have the luxury of making a mistake with my $5. A lot of people don't. And a lot of people who do, don't want to. That's all chill. And way not my business.
What's not chill is stuff where I'm being insulted or told I must do something or told I must do something in a certain way (all of which has happened lately mostly in private communication. What this isn't is me harshing on anyone's public, cordial skepticism. Charity doesn't work without skeptics and vetting, and those functions are important too. This is a response to both a too-much-email problem and a nastygram problem).
Whether you engage with these things or not, isn't my business. And whether I donate or not in these circumstances, isn't yours (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't). And certainly, I never, ever want to mislead anyone.
But now I'm getting not only an increase in requests, but an increase in criticism about what I both do and don't link to, and that isn't helping anyone.
Additionally, I'm keenly aware that too many such things dilutes the level of action people are willing to take, which also falls into the area of "not helping."
So here's the new rules, which quite frankly are about the same as the old rules, other than I'm going to say "no" a lot more (something which, frankly, annoys me to have to do):
1. If I've never met you in person -- whether you're the asker or asking on behalf of someone else -- please take the no graciously when I say no. And mostly, these days, I'm going to say no. (BTW, knowing me doesn't mean your thing is definitely going to get in; it just means that our conversation about it may be different if it doesn't).
2. If I've met you in person and the request is for a third party, feel free to ask and sometimes I'll say yes.
3. If it is a fandom auction or similar -- i.e., there's an exchange of something for assistance -- that I will link to no questions asked beyond it being for a reasonable cause (i.e., don't bring me political/social causes that I oppose or the auction to benefit your random vacation).
4. If we've never met and I've posted links on your behalf in the context of an ongoing issue, I may be willing to do so again. It's chill to ask.
5. My blog, my whims. Sometimes I'm gonna break my rules because something grabs me. So it goes.
And yes, I still have to do ALL THE HTML EVER to put together that awesome list of charities I had you all recommend a while back.
Any questions?
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 07:51 pm (UTC)I feel bad you are being attacked about the postings (partly because I think its over the one from last night).
I may need help depending on what happens in Rochester tomorrow (I am scared of them doing the right heart cath on Bill because his breathing is really not stable, but they need to do it so they can see whats going on with his heart and lungs). I'll have the laptop with me and will have internet access at Harbor House, so I'll post word to my journal. Joan (the house mom at Harbor House) is trying to get me reduced rate help for my room.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 07:52 pm (UTC)And just so you don't feel guilty, this situation has been building for a while and isn't really about that (which has been an out in the open and civil conversation as far as I can see).
no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 07:57 pm (UTC)Most likely, as I am going to be out of work for at least another 2 months. We're working on housing (got on a waiting list for assistance) and I am currently fighting with the foodstamps people who are being pricks about me being forced to take a leave of absence from work. They've actually got us off at the moment and are forcing us to re-certify and aren't making it easy despite the letter from my boss stating they made me take leave (but aren't paying me). Rent was taken care of this month by the Lourdes Foundation, but I am trying to figure out whats going to happen for July and August. I actually piled up all the paperwork I've filled out this month (along with the documentation each form needed) and it came to almost a foot tall. I HATE paperwork.