PSA: Queer

[rm]

(This is an outgrowth of a comment thread I'm having with someone in their journal. If that someone is you, no worries, we're cool).

Queer (as an adjective, we will not be using the noun here) is not inherently synonymous with gay and lesbian or LGBT.¹

Many LGBT people do not like or choose to use queer and/or feel it to represent something additional or instead of gay and lesbian or LGBT.

Because queer was originally a slur and not all LGBT people like to use it,² it's generally best that straight people don't use the word unless talking about people and groups that self-identify as queer.

Queer can be considered a non-assimilationist word. Some LGBT people who are not interested in getting equal rights by proving we're just like straight people prefer the term. (This is like when I rant about how "I'm queer and you can tell and I like it that way.")

Some non-trans people who are gender non-conforming use the term or variations there of (i.e., genderqueer).

Some trans people who are additionally not straight use the term as a shorthand way of encompassing multiple identities.

Some people who would traditionally be called "bisexual" use the term to avoid the reinforcement of a binary gender dichotomy.

Some people prefer queer because it removes the separation between men and women in the LGBT community, breaks down barriers between bisexual and other orientation identities, and can be more inclusive of the T part of the LGBT (which often gets pushed aside, because oppressed groups can be crappy to each other too).

Others like it because it's only one syllable.

Additionally queer is sometimes used to encompass kink, polyamorous and other non-traditional relationship styles in a way that may or may not be related to LGBT individuals depending on the community.³

As usual, I don't speak for all LGBT or queer people, just myself and my experience of our communities. If you have questions or more to add, consider the comments a free for all. I'm particularly interested in other people's sense and connotations for the word as ongoing discussion in the original thread is revealing that they are highly varied.

---

¹ A commenter reminds me that LGBT is just not enough these days, nor is LGBTQ, which you'll also often see. The full acronym these days often includes not just LGBT, but Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual and more.
² It's also just been brought to my attention that age may be a factor in how one reacts to queer so this PSA might seem more or less peculiar to you depending on your age.
³ Please see comments for additional discussion of this as there is disagreement on this one. It is problematic for many, and I tend to agree, although the arguments for its inclusion in queer also make a lot of sense.

ETA: Please read the comments. This is such an awesome display of diverse identities, respectful discussion about fraught issues and random people making friends I can't quite get over it. I am loving the LJ today.

Comments

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think that totally works too. I use genderqueer because it just feels more organic to me, but I recognize that it can seem misleading as I do not just play with gender (gender plays with me! But seriously, I view my murky? complex? gender identity as part of the biological fact of me, something that genderqueer may not automatically encompass). Certainly, I personally like it better than androgynous, which I get called a lot, but don't think works for me, as I'm using being male or female in very specific and unambiguous ways.

[5251962.livejournal.com]

I am exceptionally fortunate that I have both a therapist and a psychiatrist who are understanding and objective of these issues. I very briefly began to broach them last time I was in because this is an aspect of me that my partner is aware of, but still yet does not quite understand. I may actually point him in this direction- because this is good.

I have never really liked androgynous because, well, I'm not. I like "gender plays with me!" LOL Alot. I think I sort of do the reverse of you- in terms of appearance, actually but as I said, only because I've not yet felt very comfortable exploring that aspect more fully.

[jeliza]

I do not just play with gender (gender plays with me!

I am so stealing that.

[weirdquark]

I like "gender plays with me" too. Especially since I find the "play" part as much or more interesting than the "gender" bit. This is sort of where the term genderfuck comes in, at least for me -- "Your expectations about gender: I will mess with them. With intent. Because it's fun!"

[5251962.livejournal.com]

*swoon*

LOL Cat sez

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

Your ekspektayshuns-let me blow them for you!

[weirdquark]

Also, this (and another thing) has reminded me that I've been wanting to hook you up (in the introducing sort of way) with a friend of mine who is going to be getting her PhD in Gender Studies. She recently did a FAQ about herself for a convention she's going to and for the question "What gender are you?" answered "Awesome." I thought you might appreciate that.

[rax.livejournal.com]

This isn't the first time I've been pointed at your journal, rm, and I've liked it every time, so I've friended you. :) Thanks, weirdquark!

[marcmagus]

rm, has anybody ever pointed out to you that if you wait long enough, all the cool kids eventually turn up in comments here? It's truly impressive.

(rax, I don't expect you to recognize me, but I know you from nethack/crawl)

[eredien]

This *is* the first time I've been pointed at your journal, rm, but I liked it so much this time I friended you.

Thanks, weirdquark. You're awesome!

[weirdquark]

I am awesome! So are intersecting social circles!