sundries

[rm]

Patty's brother and guest have arrived. We had a nice time last night and tonight we'll be taking her for her first sushi! So that'll be fun. The text message from them being lost while we were having sex trying to sleep was a little less pleasant, but what can you do?

LJ comments: still fucked. Film at 11.

I had heard there was something up regarding VividCon, but while I really dig vids, I don't make them and I'm not really a part of that community, and as such hadn't quite found my path to what the story was until this morning.

vom_marlowe has the story which involves disability-related fail, a side of transphobia, a bit of internalized misogyny and a whole lot of bad attitudes.

I have a few thoughts, that are oddly related to some thoughts I have about what jimhines has to say about rape and the police.

Actually, I have one big thought: People, the presence of rare or hypothetical bad actors in a given situation is not a reason to deny people accommodation or redress so that they may coexist comfortably, equally and fairly.

The fact that false rape accusations do happen once in a rare while is no reason for police to treat people reporting rape as criminals and dismiss their claims in a hail of threats. The fact that a person could theoretically claim an invisible disability to get someone into a vid show for free as a personal aide is no reason to make it onerous for people with disabilities to attend events, scold them for needing assistance and require that they are only the bare minimum of comfortable compared to other event guests while taking unnecessary, potentially humiliating and/or dangerous personal risks.¹

Also, don't joke about the bathroom thing. For trans people and sometimes for butch women, this can be a life and death thing.

And look, when I go to a restaurant, I understand I am taking a risk due to my celiac disease and that that risk is on me. HOWEVER, it's also perfectly reasonable for me to ask someone at the restaurant what's in the food and then make an educated decision for myself.

So if someone wants content information about your vid show due to things like migraines, epilepsy or content that they feel would be harmful to them in some way, you are not being unfairly burdened. They are being responsible and trying to make active choices for themselves and you should know what's in the tin you packed and be willing to share in such circumstances. In fact, you could save everyone a lot of misery by providing a write up on such in advance as part of your production process so that those with such concerns could research in advance without interrupting you or revealing information about themselves they might quite reasonably prefer to remain private.

Why is it, in the broadest sense possible so hard for us, as a species, to err simply on the side of kindness?

Also, a relatively trivial side note in all of this, but one I think is important in terms of how we think about ourselves and others: Enough with the tall poppy syndrome. People aren't dicks for being popular. They're dicks for being dicks about being popular or they're dicks because they're being dicks and happen to be popular. The popular (or successful or rich or whatever) isn't the inherent problem and obscures the conversation. I'm tired of it. Be grand, damn you all!

What exercise science doesn't know about women.

It may be possible to predict extreme longevity with significant accuracy.

Google is buying ITA and this could be very significant down the line, at least if you travel a lot.

Google is also supplementing the pay of employees with same-sex partners who receive insurance through them to neutralize the tax penalty these employees are hit with because of DoMA.

---

¹ I do not in any way intend to equate rape and disability here. Rather I am trying to equate people's bad attitudes about addressing rape and addressing disability accommodations as coming from related "logic" sources.

Comments

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Although everything about the VVC thing bothers me, I have to say that one of the most peculiar things is the anti-warning stance. I get that as an artist we sometimes want to spring surprises on people, but seriously, there are also people who want to be surprised, and they are perfectly capable of skipping warnings. I do think there is a difference between "No warnings" and "Choose not to warn" and I think if you don't choose the former and you won't list warnings then yeah, you should automatically be assigned the latter.

I saw a great sign during Waldo's Chicago Pride photo essays just a few days ago: "My life is more important than your feelings." Seems to sum up a lot of what people aren't getting in this and other similar wanks.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

That post regarding VividCon was really terrible. I don't think that's a bigger than normal fail, but really, that just makes the whole situation worse. Fandom is not happier or shinier than any other facet of life. I always wonder why people would consider it so.

I recall I once wrote and said IRL regarding rape victims that in order to be believed that something bad happened to them they'd need to be also murdered. That killed the conversation, but everyone agreed with me that seems to be the way rape victims are treated.
I know for myself (and other women and men that I know) a lot of the fear surrounding sexual assault (beyond the actual physical trauma) is the fear that they will not be believed if it happens (or did happen).

The exercise science piece is just a real "Duh" making piece of writing.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I really, really used to not get the warning thing, and there are ways in which I still don't get it on a personal level (in the sense that I don't have triggers), but just because I don't get it, doesn't mean I should be a dick about it. No one needs to get it on a personal level to do the right thing. Other people say "hey, this would be better for me and might give you a larger audience" and I go "okay!"

I know the next big solo TW piece I do is going to make me do the warning thing A LOT, so that'll be interesting.

[newsbean.livejournal.com]

Why is it, in the broadest sense possible so hard for us, as a species, to err simply on the side of kindness?

In some ways, this seems like an American problem more than a human problem. We're so much worse about it. I think of all the people who live in "socialist" countries where they care for and look after the weakest. They seem to show much more kindness than we do.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

I don't have triggers in a health-dangerous sense, though there are things I'm learning I don't cope with well. I think I get the warning thing because in the X-Files fandom it was de rigeur even back as far as 1994 or so. Especially after the Oklahoma City bombing, there were a couple of stories specifically about bombings that had very, very large warnings on them.

Mind you, I think it's evolving more now into a "please state whether or not there are issues" -- my default assumption is that if there's no "Warning" in the heading then there's nothing to warn about, but there are people who won't read fics with no warning header even to say "no warnings". Which I totally get, especially if you've been triggered by fic before.

I admit about two months ago "Choose not to warn" was a very effective warning for me; skimming the fic let me know that it was a character-death fic and I choose not to read! :D

[such_heights]

And look, when I go to a restaurant, I understand I am taking a risk due to my celiac disease and that that risk is on me. HOWEVER, it's also perfectly reasonable for me to ask someone at the restaurant what's in the food and then make an educated decision for myself.

Yes, this is the thing! That is all I would like at VVC, a better system that can get me the information that I need and also help me, you know, enjoy some vids. But, apparently this will destroy fandom or something, I don't know.

[rm.livejournal.com]

There are circumstances where I will still do "choose not to warn" if a story is just sort of grim, but not in any categorizable way since "this may be upsetting, but I don't know why" doesn't seem that useful (although arguably my endless disclaimer on "Because Men Once Went West" is like that). And I've done the hidden warnings thing too, because the thing being warned for is the sort of central "woah, what?!?" moment of the fic (i.e., first story in IHNIIHBT).

[newsbean.livejournal.com]

I think I commented in haste. Americans may be worse about it, but we're certainly not the only unkind people in the whole world. It just feels like it sometimes.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I just...what the hell? Con accessibility is not rocket surgery.

Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

RE Warnings- Exactly, I don't have triggers and really, I'm going to read authors I like and trust no matter what the warning, but I can also CHOOSE NOT TO READ A WARNING. It's not possible to choose not be triggered because someone valued their "surprise" over you.

I have had the experience of reading warnings from and author I an unfamiliar with and been so put off by the way that they warn that I lose trust in their ability to write the topic/kink thoughtfully.

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yup, and at least in LJ you can "hide" the warning so people won't get spoiled if they don't want to. I've used that for stories before because the warned for thing was really really shocking and needed to be warned for, but I also didn't want to front-load people with the information if they didn't feel they needed to check for warnings.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I actually think Choose Not To Warn can be useful that way, it's a signpost saying "Maybe have a friend read this first!" :D

I should go back and put warnings on my fics, crap. It's a good time to do it, I'm already going through everything as I move it over to Dreamwidth...

[xtricks.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*

It is simply not that difficult to do some basic accesibility things that work for the vast majority of people who are going to show -- moving con chairs enough for a wheelchair is a five minute process, at most and in every case where I've dealt with something like that it's extremely easy to ask a few folks standing around to help move a few chairs. Banning aids is ... jesus, the con won't go broke if a few people are 'consuming' their goods without paying.

The trans issue is just ridiculous -- I went to a conference that was for ftm folks (years ago now), and a few other gender related conferences and all of them simply made all bathrooms in the con area unisex for the duration. And you know what? It works just fine.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Also, at a small con, if you know you have guests using wheelchairs, pre-plan the seat set-up. Not that hard.

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

I like hidden warnings in LJ, very useful. I know you needed to warn for the first part of IHNIIHBT but I thought that the way the reactions in the story were handled was gorgeous and nuanced and powerful. The two of you made it so much more than the warning could ever have implied.

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thanks. That was our fear, that the warning, whatever we said would drive people off because it was cracky or gross or awful, but we also couldn't not warn. We're going to clean up typos on the whole series and put it on A03 soon, and that creates issues with their warning system that's frustrating. Because "character death" isn't the warning that scene needs.

[xtricks.livejournal.com]

Especially with the cheap ass chairs that are almost always used in these sorts of events.

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Oy re: AO3. Is that something you could take up with the people who administer it as a modification that could be made to the tag/warning system, or not really?

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing there isn't a "temporary character death" choice? Would something general like "potentially disturbing content" work or is legitimate to call it "breath play' in that fandom?

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[rm.livejournal.com]

It's too unique a case to be a priority in any way, and I accept that. The warnings options they have make lots of sense, and we'll do it in the authors note in invisible text (highlight to read) if that'll work, or provide a link or something.

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

Would you consider posting the whole as a PDF as well, or a series of PDFs?

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[rm.livejournal.com]

I do think there are people who want alerts for things like breath play, and I think that's reasonable but not the central issue here, which is the temporarily dead person involved in the sex. Normally in TW people don't warn for Jack's deaths, and I wouldn't, you know, except for the complete fuckery that is everything that goes down in that story.

Re: Tangential at best to the VVC thing

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yup, that's on our to-do list with it as well. I may also do a pod-fic of the Ianto's backstory piece of it.

[azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com]

Parallels I can think of as well for "erring on the side of kindness" (great way to put it)

Some burglaries are fake; people do them to cover up another crime, or to make an insurance claim. But the fact that a TINY percentage of burglaries are fake doesn't mean police automatically assume anyone who reports a burglary is faking it.

Another thing that came to mind... I volunteered for a bit in assisting evacuees from Katrina who ended up in our state. One of the things the Red Cross did was process their information and give them a $300 debit card so they could get immediate food and housing and not have to spend the night sleeping in their cars. Some extremely mean-spirited people were complaining in local media that it was just "giving away money to scammers". For one night I was assigned to the pool for processing evacuees. Some of them had no identification but they were OBVIOUSLY TRAUMATIZED, obviously from New Orleans and thankfully the process let them get the $300 anyway. So what if a few scammers waited for hours until 2am in a grim line and got $300... it seemed like an acceptable amount of waste to make sure the people who really needed the money got it as fast as possible.

Any idea that punishing people who abuse a system is more important than helping people with that system... it's so popular, so disgusting.

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed that the folks who set up (I'm assuming it's a hotel or conference center) didn't accommodate automatically. I worked big education conferences for years and accessibility is just part of what you look at along with fire code and the rest. If it's easy for 1500 folks getting medical CEUs why is it hard for 125 folks enjoying art?