sundries

[rm]

Last night we were assaulted by a mosquito. It was evil. It fucked up our sleep. We must destroy it and its sneaky evil minions.

20-hear high school reunion details released. If I buy the ticket early it's only $70. *snerk* They are, at least being accommodating about my food needs. I already feel in a weird tizzy about the whole thing considering the utterly batshit (and, frankly, kinda of awesome) entrance I made for the 10-year.

graduate_maria. You know the deal.

South Africa, gay marriage and the reality of race: whites and foreigners tout the progressiveness of the nation's legalization of same-sex marriage, while anti-gay violence, including "corrective rapes" against lesbians are still a major issue for the country's majority.

The ADL has downgraded the swastika as an antisemitic hate symbol. It seems it increasingly shows up in other types of hate crimes too and so for younger generations of perpetrators has less of a connection to the events surrounding the Holocaust.

Bollywood is awesome. You already knew that. The Inflation Witch song makes it more awesome.

Oh hey, adding the Inflation Witch story to this post made offensive Tea Party ads show up on my journal. Always interesting to see how the other side fears lives.

Patty mentioned this to me the other day, and we expressed our rage then. But I am reminded of it thanks to NYTimes coverage of it today: the MTA is proposing raising the subway rates again. I could live with the unlimited 30-day pass going from $89 to $104, but if they limit the amount of rides its good for? Well, then what's the fucking point? It's not like, in a city like New York, there's any other option. It's not like we can drive our fucking cars instead -- WE DON'T HAVE ANY. I hate the MTA with its corruption, inefficiency and constant blaming of the ridership. And I hate the way NYC is denied its fair share of funds to support our transit system from Albany and from DC, because people hate NYC so much it's bad for politicians to actually treat us fairly.

I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth.

Hey, just because I don't have kids and am not currently planing on having any, can we not assume I'm "child-free."

Now, granted, your consideration of others about your kids is awesome, as is your consideration of your kids about others (kids don't always want to be in adult spaces anymore than all adults welcome kids in all adult spaces), and I appreciate and welcome that. You are awesome, and if you are awesome, I'm sorry that some people are such assholes to you about the fact that hey, having kids was the best choice for you.

I'm gluten-free, because gluten causes me harm. Other people's reasonably behaved (in a kid-like way that, yes, is sometimes loud or crying) kids, unless they randomly, literally bite my ankles or have a meltdown on a plane (and what can you do about that, sometimes I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown on a plane too; kids melting down on planes, I stand with you in solidarity!) don't cause me harm. I don't need to deal with them like they're an allergen, and in most cases, neither does anyone else.

As a person without kids, who thinks kids are pretty okay but will say something to a parent if they don't tell their kid to stop smacking me on the subway (hello, Monday), I'd really like if people like me, you know, existed, as opposed to these caricatures that people fall into of "Parent who will beat you over the head with their child's car seat" and "child-free person whose freedom is destroyed every time they see a child from anything less than 500ft."

White Collar was just a competent, grown-up, elegant episode last night. Don't have a lot to say about it.

Actually, I don't have a lot to say about Covert Affairs either, other than oh, Auggie backstory, that's going to require some careful navigation. I hold my breath a lot watching this show because there's such a mess that can be made of so many things, but it continues to get better. Next week? Zurich!

Comments

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

As a person without kids, who thinks kids are pretty okay but will say something to a parent if they don't tell their kid to stop smacking me on the subway (hello, Monday), I'd really like if people like me, you know, existed, as opposed to these caricatures that people fall into of "Parent who will beat you over the head with their child's car seat" and "child-free person whose freedom is destroyed every time they see a child from anything less than 500ft."

We do. You're not alone on the definition. I think a lot of the hardcore "childfree" (in scare quotes because they're more childphobic than anything) have given the reasonable ones a bad name, and I'm tired of having to explain that I use childfree as an alternative to the unwieldy childless-by-choice, and certainly as an alternative to plain old childless (that implies a reason other than choice, and I do have some choice in this matter. Infertile women do not, for example).

Like queer, it's a term that's just loaded with implications, and outside the proper circles, I hesitate to bandy it about.

[rm.livejournal.com]

See, I almost never hear "childfree" followed up by something I find reasonable. But then I don't hang out in "childfree" communities or anything online. Part of this may be that in New York City, diversity includes all sorts of people who both do and don't choose to have kids, so it's not really something that needs a statement or even a term. I realize it might be different in other places.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth.

Heh. If it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't even know who she is. But I learned a couple years ago, and also learned to just throw my head back and laugh and laugh and laugh until it hurt to breathe, because DAMN. You have to really work hard to be that ignorant and offensive, and you can actually SEE her working at it. I mean, gears grinding and smoke and needle skips and everything. She's visibly trying to be ~*edgy*~.

Once you see how empty-headed she is, it becomes much easier to laugh at her idiocy, then promptly relegate her to the dustbin.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Sadly, because she is outspoken about the crappy disease we both have, I have to occasionally be glad she exists. On the other hand, hilariously, Keith Olbermann also shares our crappy disease, making it all funnier.

[rani23.livejournal.com]

I totally want to know about the awesome and batshit enterance you did for the 10 year reunion. :)

kicks basic account that does not allow me to edit comments...

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

Aside from nodding vigourously in agreement I do not have much of substance to add other than...

kids melting down on planes, I stand with you in solidarity!

We traveled extensively when The Boy was very young. While he was a good flyer I will always be grateful for the wonderful tip I got from a former flight attendant:

Buy a big bag of foam earplugs and if your frequent flyer perks include drink coupons by all means bring them along (if not bring some cash to buy drinks if needed). I can only remember two legs where he was was fussy and annoying to others and being able to pass out ear plugs and tickets for free alcohol improved the situation immensely! We felt less helpless and our fellow passengers were appreciative and more willing to cut us a little slack.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

I'm tired of having to explain that I use childfree as an alternative to the unwieldy childless-by-choice, and certainly as an alternative to plain old childless (that implies a reason other than choice, and I do have some choice in this matter.

I've often suggested "unenkidded" to describe folks who choose not to have kids. It seems to be free of the baggage encumbering other descriptors.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I like that! It's also cute!

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

There's a list of celebs* that even I, a gluten-tolerant person, can think of off the top of my head who are gluten-intolerant.

But I also know that by being your friend, my antennae are up about it.

(Neil Gaiman and Zooey Deschanel come to mind first.)

[rm.livejournal.com]

I knew about Neil, and I suppose now that you mention it I did hear that about Deschanel, but since I generally don't recall her existence, I generally don't recall the celiac either.

Re: kicks basic account that does not allow me to edit comments...

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

I find that regardless of the situation, when the person/people responsible acknowledge/s that they're causing a disturbance/delay/irritation, and better, offers some sort of alleviation, people appreciate it.

[eac.livejournal.com]

I also like that, and will now use it for my unedkidded friends. Also, rm, as a parent I have also noticed the lack of reasonable discourse around children (on both sides). I appreciate your middle ground here...

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

I have also noticed the lack of reasonable discourse around children (on both sides).

Mmmf, yes, it seems to be an outright war some days, doesn't it? But really, most people are pretty reasonable on the issue of kids. It's just that both the Mommier-Than-Thou contingent and their OMGCHILDFREE4EVA counterparts yell louder and longer, and drown the reasonable folk out.

[moizissimo.livejournal.com]

I worked in a kids-oriented market for long enough, that I turn and politely ask the kid to stop. If it so happens that the kid doesn't understand (By choice or language barrier. Anything is possible!), THEN I turn to the parent and ask them politely to get their kid to not do whatever it is. It works really well. Usually when you show a kid you're not reacting, but rather you're just a stranger expecting a certain level of conduct, they stop being annoying pretty quick.

Re: kicks basic account that does not allow me to edit comments...

[airspaniel.livejournal.com]

I think that makes a HUGE difference. Occasionally disturbances will be made, and that's a fact of life. What really bothers me is when the people responsible for said disturbances 1) ignore them entirely, 2) pretend everything is fine and normal, 3) glare malevolently at the innocent bystanders who dare to be disturbed, or 4) some combination of the above.

Seriously, even just a moment of sympathetic eye-contact would make me immeasurably less annoyed.

[6-bleen-7.livejournal.com]

The vast majority of people who identify as childfree agree with you. Childfree simply means not having children by choice, and by this definition you are childfree. The stereotype of "childfree = child-hating" is just as inaccurate and driven by ignorance as any other stereotype.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think from a marketing perspective it's a strategically weak term then. We're generally only -free things that we perceive as bad for us: fat-free, sugar-free, etc.

Rarely do I find myself describe my life as money-free, success-free or broccoli-free.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

I actually had someone get on me when I was sixteen -- sixteen! -- for referring to a fetus as "it". Even at that age, I had to defend my right to choose whether I wanted to be a mother. So yes, it is vastly different outside New York City.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

"Unenkidded" is definitely cute. :-)

[rm.livejournal.com]

"It" was considered the appropriate pronoun for children through toddler age until relatively recently. I use it not-infrequently because of my own bizarre language upbringing, but try to be aware that it really bugs people out.

[6-bleen-7.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, NYC is diametrically opposed to nearly all the rest of the USA in this respect. In Utah, the idea of choosing not to have children is unthinkable to the majority. In Utah, I've rarely heard the word gay followed by anything reasonable, but I recognize that such statements are driven by prejudice.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I had my eyes opened there, and I also have a curious background when it comes to languages (not to mention a curious present -- aphasic moments + being multilingual often = word substitutions nobody understands!).

I settle on "kidlet" now if said fetus is supposed to grow to term. Gender-neutral, positive toward fetus, fluffy. Never had anyone argue with me on that one. :-)

[6-bleen-7.livejournal.com]

It isn't an ideal term, I agree. It tends to be perceived as an attack on people who choose to have kids, probably for the reason you mention. Alas, some folks see the mere existence of childfree people as an attack on their values.

[rm.livejournal.com]

1. I was unclear, and I apologize. What I meant was that in the rare occasions in which I run across conversations about children involving self-described childfree people, I rarely see reasonable discourse from anyone involved in the discussion on either side of the issue. Granted, this bias on my part comes from the fact that I don't generally participate in these discussion and so generally only seen the ones that rise to the level of "OMGWTF someone is behaving badly on the Internet" so I will grant you, also, that I have a self-reinforcing and apparently inaccurate bias there.

2. I've been assaulted for being gay. I've never been assaulted for not having kids. I am uncomfortable with this comparison (although I do ABSOLUTELY believe you that people without kids can be harassed about it or treated unfairly (probably to a degree I'd find startling) especially in other parts of the country) for that reason and others.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Hey, my 30th HS reunion was $120 a head, so $70 sounds pretty reasonable!

I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth.

How about the most offensive thing? Or are you spoiled for choice then?