sundries

[rm]

Last night we were assaulted by a mosquito. It was evil. It fucked up our sleep. We must destroy it and its sneaky evil minions.

20-hear high school reunion details released. If I buy the ticket early it's only $70. *snerk* They are, at least being accommodating about my food needs. I already feel in a weird tizzy about the whole thing considering the utterly batshit (and, frankly, kinda of awesome) entrance I made for the 10-year.

graduate_maria. You know the deal.

South Africa, gay marriage and the reality of race: whites and foreigners tout the progressiveness of the nation's legalization of same-sex marriage, while anti-gay violence, including "corrective rapes" against lesbians are still a major issue for the country's majority.

The ADL has downgraded the swastika as an antisemitic hate symbol. It seems it increasingly shows up in other types of hate crimes too and so for younger generations of perpetrators has less of a connection to the events surrounding the Holocaust.

Bollywood is awesome. You already knew that. The Inflation Witch song makes it more awesome.

Oh hey, adding the Inflation Witch story to this post made offensive Tea Party ads show up on my journal. Always interesting to see how the other side fears lives.

Patty mentioned this to me the other day, and we expressed our rage then. But I am reminded of it thanks to NYTimes coverage of it today: the MTA is proposing raising the subway rates again. I could live with the unlimited 30-day pass going from $89 to $104, but if they limit the amount of rides its good for? Well, then what's the fucking point? It's not like, in a city like New York, there's any other option. It's not like we can drive our fucking cars instead -- WE DON'T HAVE ANY. I hate the MTA with its corruption, inefficiency and constant blaming of the ridership. And I hate the way NYC is denied its fair share of funds to support our transit system from Albany and from DC, because people hate NYC so much it's bad for politicians to actually treat us fairly.

I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth.

Hey, just because I don't have kids and am not currently planing on having any, can we not assume I'm "child-free."

Now, granted, your consideration of others about your kids is awesome, as is your consideration of your kids about others (kids don't always want to be in adult spaces anymore than all adults welcome kids in all adult spaces), and I appreciate and welcome that. You are awesome, and if you are awesome, I'm sorry that some people are such assholes to you about the fact that hey, having kids was the best choice for you.

I'm gluten-free, because gluten causes me harm. Other people's reasonably behaved (in a kid-like way that, yes, is sometimes loud or crying) kids, unless they randomly, literally bite my ankles or have a meltdown on a plane (and what can you do about that, sometimes I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown on a plane too; kids melting down on planes, I stand with you in solidarity!) don't cause me harm. I don't need to deal with them like they're an allergen, and in most cases, neither does anyone else.

As a person without kids, who thinks kids are pretty okay but will say something to a parent if they don't tell their kid to stop smacking me on the subway (hello, Monday), I'd really like if people like me, you know, existed, as opposed to these caricatures that people fall into of "Parent who will beat you over the head with their child's car seat" and "child-free person whose freedom is destroyed every time they see a child from anything less than 500ft."

White Collar was just a competent, grown-up, elegant episode last night. Don't have a lot to say about it.

Actually, I don't have a lot to say about Covert Affairs either, other than oh, Auggie backstory, that's going to require some careful navigation. I hold my breath a lot watching this show because there's such a mess that can be made of so many things, but it continues to get better. Next week? Zurich!

Comments

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

As a person without kids, who thinks kids are pretty okay but will say something to a parent if they don't tell their kid to stop smacking me on the subway (hello, Monday), I'd really like if people like me, you know, existed, as opposed to these caricatures that people fall into of "Parent who will beat you over the head with their child's car seat" and "child-free person whose freedom is destroyed every time they see a child from anything less than 500ft."

We do. You're not alone on the definition. I think a lot of the hardcore "childfree" (in scare quotes because they're more childphobic than anything) have given the reasonable ones a bad name, and I'm tired of having to explain that I use childfree as an alternative to the unwieldy childless-by-choice, and certainly as an alternative to plain old childless (that implies a reason other than choice, and I do have some choice in this matter. Infertile women do not, for example).

Like queer, it's a term that's just loaded with implications, and outside the proper circles, I hesitate to bandy it about.

[rm.livejournal.com]

See, I almost never hear "childfree" followed up by something I find reasonable. But then I don't hang out in "childfree" communities or anything online. Part of this may be that in New York City, diversity includes all sorts of people who both do and don't choose to have kids, so it's not really something that needs a statement or even a term. I realize it might be different in other places.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

I'm tired of having to explain that I use childfree as an alternative to the unwieldy childless-by-choice, and certainly as an alternative to plain old childless (that implies a reason other than choice, and I do have some choice in this matter.

I've often suggested "unenkidded" to describe folks who choose not to have kids. It seems to be free of the baggage encumbering other descriptors.

[soundingsea.livejournal.com]

This. So much this. I consider myself childfree because I'm not "less".. I am not missing something, or longing for it, and "childless" conjures up, for me, a woman who wishes for children she "lacks". It's like "dateless" or "friendless" or "loveless".

Kids are great as long as they don't live at my house and I don't have to raise them! For some reason, many people find this unconscionable. If I had a nickel for every "yes, I've been in a relationship with a man for 13 years. No, we neither have nor want children" conversation I've had to endure from well-meaning relatives, I'd have a lot of nickels.

But though I think of myself as childfree, I don't usually use the term, just because it does have that unfortunate connotation of a person who begrudges paying for schools or something. Hey, I vote yes on every school-based referendum!

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth.

Heh. If it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't even know who she is. But I learned a couple years ago, and also learned to just throw my head back and laugh and laugh and laugh until it hurt to breathe, because DAMN. You have to really work hard to be that ignorant and offensive, and you can actually SEE her working at it. I mean, gears grinding and smoke and needle skips and everything. She's visibly trying to be ~*edgy*~.

Once you see how empty-headed she is, it becomes much easier to laugh at her idiocy, then promptly relegate her to the dustbin.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Sadly, because she is outspoken about the crappy disease we both have, I have to occasionally be glad she exists. On the other hand, hilariously, Keith Olbermann also shares our crappy disease, making it all funnier.

[rani23.livejournal.com]

I totally want to know about the awesome and batshit enterance you did for the 10 year reunion. :)

kicks basic account that does not allow me to edit comments...

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

Aside from nodding vigourously in agreement I do not have much of substance to add other than...

kids melting down on planes, I stand with you in solidarity!

We traveled extensively when The Boy was very young. While he was a good flyer I will always be grateful for the wonderful tip I got from a former flight attendant:

Buy a big bag of foam earplugs and if your frequent flyer perks include drink coupons by all means bring them along (if not bring some cash to buy drinks if needed). I can only remember two legs where he was was fussy and annoying to others and being able to pass out ear plugs and tickets for free alcohol improved the situation immensely! We felt less helpless and our fellow passengers were appreciative and more willing to cut us a little slack.

Re: kicks basic account that does not allow me to edit comments...

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

I find that regardless of the situation, when the person/people responsible acknowledge/s that they're causing a disturbance/delay/irritation, and better, offers some sort of alleviation, people appreciate it.

[moizissimo.livejournal.com]

I worked in a kids-oriented market for long enough, that I turn and politely ask the kid to stop. If it so happens that the kid doesn't understand (By choice or language barrier. Anything is possible!), THEN I turn to the parent and ask them politely to get their kid to not do whatever it is. It works really well. Usually when you show a kid you're not reacting, but rather you're just a stranger expecting a certain level of conduct, they stop being annoying pretty quick.

[idunn.livejournal.com]

I agree. A lot of people look down on kids like they're idiots, but they're pretty astute and will often mirror an adult's behavior like that.

[6-bleen-7.livejournal.com]

The vast majority of people who identify as childfree agree with you. Childfree simply means not having children by choice, and by this definition you are childfree. The stereotype of "childfree = child-hating" is just as inaccurate and driven by ignorance as any other stereotype.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think from a marketing perspective it's a strategically weak term then. We're generally only -free things that we perceive as bad for us: fat-free, sugar-free, etc.

Rarely do I find myself describe my life as money-free, success-free or broccoli-free.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Hey, my 30th HS reunion was $120 a head, so $70 sounds pretty reasonable!

I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth. I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth.

How about the most offensive thing? Or are you spoiled for choice then?

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

I join you in your MTA hate. When I was working (sigh) the 30 day unlimited card was perfect and saved me money in the long run. To limit unlimited cards is not only wrong, but bad logic.

I love public transport and extol it wherever I go, but the MTA needs an attitude adjustment.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

It seems it increasingly shows up in other types of hate crimes too and so for younger generations of perpetrators has less of a connection to the events surrounding the Holocaust.

I have an incredibly weird and ambivalent reaction to that. On the one hand, I can definitely see where this shift comes from. When someone carved a swastika into my driveway a few years ago, my initial reaction was, "Did somebody mistake my pentagram for a Star of David again?" (Followed by a slightly freaked out and ultimately pointless call to the police, who did absolutely nothing except possibly log the call. They didn't even seem to want do that, despite my insistence that there should be a record in case anything else happened in our neighborhood.) It was pointed out to me then that most likely whatever bored and destructive kids did it probably have no idea what it means and just associate it with "badness."

That, of course, leads to the opposite side of the ambivalence. Because it is a symbol used to mean everything from "holy" to "good luck" in other parts of the world. There are a couple of pieces of Eastern jewelry that I own but will never wear because it's part of the symbolism, and even knowing the history and origins in that context, it just completely makes my skin crawl. (I should really find someone to pass them on to who wouldn't have that issue.) So there's part of me that would like to see it lose those horrible associations ... but expanding it to just general badness and hate isn't exactly a step in that direction either.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

After poking at my thoughts on this off and on through the day, all I can do re-reading that comment is wince. Yes, those experiences shape the reaction I was trying to express, but they're not the point. At all.

It's disturbing that the reason the swastika is being downgraded as a specifically anti-Semitic symbol is because people seem to be forgetting how it was actually used or at least using it in harassing others who aren't Jewish. If it were some other reason, such as a widening awareness of other uses for it, that would be one thing. But this suggests that younger generations aren't as keenly aware of what that symbol was made to mean in what is still fairly recent history, just have some vague idea of it being associated with "badness" and hatred generally. And yet as the article goes on to say, there's been an increase in violent crimes against Jews. There's some connection there that the article never quite makes and that I'm not quite able to put a finger on other than to say that it's troubling.

[usullusa.livejournal.com]

They're raising the subway fairs again WHAT? WHAT IS THE POINT OF AN UNLIMITED METRO PASS IF IT'S LIMITED? Do they not realize this is the only form of transportation available to almost everybody in NYC besides taxis?

Seriously, go raise the prices on something nonessential.

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

I agree completely.

[tacky-tramp.livejournal.com]

kids melting down on planes, I stand with you in solidarity!

Seriously! When my sisters used to throw tantrums, I'd just hold them and say, "Yup, I feel like this sometimes, too."

I don't need to deal with them like they're an allergen, and in most cases, neither does anyone else.

And yet some people do. They are annoyed, and they act like they're being harmed.

[adelheid-p.livejournal.com]

I have one child (she's 24 years old). I had a few reasons why I did not have another. For about half of her life we also took care of her great-grandfather and that also took up my remaining physical and emotional cycles for a while. But I have friends who have chosen not to have children and I recognize that as a valid decision. Lots of people have children who clearly shouldn't have/don't take responsibility for raising them so I'm not going to urge someone to inflict that on another child. But the whole anti-child attitude and reactions of those who sometimes call themselves "child-free" makes me wonder if these people aren't child-phobic. If you (in the general case) want me to be tolerant of the choice not to have children, you should be tolerant of my choice to have and responsibly raise my child. I understand that these people question whether this is a good world in which to raise a child but some of us have answered that question differently.

[adelheid-p.livejournal.com]

Mass transit is woefully underfunded in Pennsylvania. There isn't a standing item in the state budget and, as a result, it has declined markedly in the past 20 years where I live. I can't even get a bus to work from where I live with out riding one twice as long as it takes me to drive in. NYC has much better mass transportation than Pittsburgh, in my opinion. I'd like to see national funding for all mass transit programs, to encourage more environmentally responsible commuting but I'm not holding my breath.

[girlingoldboots.livejournal.com]

I will not comment on the latest offensive thing out of Elizabeth Hasslebeck's mouth

I'll bite. What did she say?

[azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com]

My reaction to hearing about those "hardcore childfree" screeds is just to laugh. I really don't care at all about their discomfort level in airplanes and restaurants. It barely even registers on my radar screen. I'm the mom of a special needs kid so I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to that sort of judgment and I really have a lot more important things to worry about. My child does not fit into socially acceptable "normal" standards, definitely not the sort of weird 19th century standards they seem to prefer, that's what we have to work with and do our best with, and I'm not going to lock him up in an attic because of it.

But thanks for apologizing for them! I do agree they give a bad name to people who decide not to have children, and I think it sucks that people (mainly women) get so much pressure to have children when they don't want to.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Interesting about reunion tickets. I've been thinking already (my 20th is 8 years away and there was talk that we should do this properly next time) about what might go into organizing something like that, financially speaking.

And ouch. Your 30-day unlimited passes are way more expensive than ours. OTOH, we're just the opposite in terms of car-friendliness.

The child-free assumption is a strange one. I'd never read you as rabidly anti-kid, regardless of what I'd guessed about any possible plans. My bafflement, let me show you it.