sundries

[rm]

Patty and I are still in data limbo land. One of these data points will affect whether she will be able to visit me in Switzerland, so that's important! Others are a bit farther down the time line, but involve her next trip, potential career stuff on my end that has me a little flustered, and how those are going to interact with the trip to France I'm trying to plan for us.

Yesterday my residuals came. Which is nice, since the residuals tracker on the SAG website has been broken for a while, and I had no idea how much they were going to be. More than I expected (they were bad last quarter, but have been super high other quarters -- they just spiked again), which means I can register for the short film course I want to do without worrying about the $$.

If you missed it, we have an Inception: The Musical blooper reel for you in which Megan sings about cock, and I completely topple over the dignity line (possibly by falling down a flight of stairs). Also, Chuck's cellphone tries to get in on the narrative action. And there's a training montage. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.

If you don't, have this baby monkey riding backwards on a pig instead.

Yesterday was super amazing for Dogboy & Justine fundraising and we're now past the 25% mark! If you go by the $75/day model we don't even have to raise any money today. If you go by obsessive averaging, we still need to raise $73.11 today to stay on target. All help is good help. We're also moving up on the Kickstarter site in terms of being popular, so all your clicking and helping helps too! More visibility! And, now that you've seen some more of mithrigil's awesome abilities as a song-writer (although, to be clear, she is not responsible for "Baby Monkey Riding Backwards on a Pig"), we hope you have one more reason to consider supporting us.

Bob Guccione's New York.

New York has become a central villain in this season's campaign ads. Let me tell you how enraged this makes me. I love this city. It's my blood. And I've lived a life of being told it's dangerous (when it hasn't been in over 20 years), of being told it was child abuse that I was raised here (fuck you), of being told that being from here means I'm godless, rude, have an ugly voice, or am a whore. And when that's not happening, it's exploit, exploit, exploit, which is one thing when it's people who are afraid to visit here loving Seinfeld and Friends and another when my city is used to justify mishandled military actions I don't agree with and revolting Islamiphobia.

I anthropomorphize everyhing, and nothing so much as New York City. And I hate watching people hurt her. Living in New York is like living in America's backstage story. My commute to work, my experience in the right sort of restaurants, my trips to museums and shopping -- it's all fucking filled with America's fanfiction and RPF. My mother worked at Tiffany. My father was an ad man. One of my best friends growing up was the daughter of a Broadway producer and we tap-danced in her house on the giant dimes from 42nd Street. It's hard to be a caretaker for so much dreaming. And it's hard to be the target of so much anger.

So that's what it means when people are cruel to my home. And that's what it means when people love it. And this is what I mean when I talk about being a finer thing. There's a precision in me that comes from living in and growing up in so strange a small kingdom. And it makes me very happy when others come here and choose it too. Because then we're all in a marvelous secret club, tiny and vast.

The subway in pictures. The transition in these from black and white to color is shocking. That transition happens in this chronicle in my lifetime. Those b&w shots of the city in the 70s and 80s really seem like another world -- more formal, more decayed, more dangerous. And it is absolutely the one I was raised in. The color stuff is like a strange sort of fake "now" -- I live in it, but it isn't true. It is a shame most of their 1970s pictures are in B&W -- those were garish, color-saturated times.

Why can't middle-aged women have long hair? I live in terror of the day that people will think I cut all mine off in deference to being a certain age. I'll tell you, at various times I've cut my hair to be more sophisticated, save time, mourn death, mourn a relationship, prep for a cosplay plan, and look more like someone I thought was hot. I never cut my hair to be good. And I almost punched a man in a bar once for telling me he thought I was so hot because when women cut off their hair it means they are finally over their fathers.

Tens of thousands of Finns have left the Finnish Lutheran-Evangelical Church due to anti-gay comments in a recent televised debate.

Speaking of religion: I believe that none of the major mainstream religions are inherently evil, although all religions may be used for evil purposes by extreme individuals, politicians, states, and organizing bodies or sects within those faiths. Which is to say I have no problem with essays attacking the leadership of the Catholic Church; the way religion is used by certain factions in the Israeli government; the exploitation of Christianity by US politicians; or the awful oppression that exists in states that are effectively Islamic dictatorships. However I do have a big fucking problem with "[Choose Your Faith] is [Choose Your Insult]." I find it personally, not abstractly, offensive. And I will tell you so when I see it. Similar abuse towards atheism and non-cult smaller faiths is equally not welcome here (It is, however, open season on Scientology, which has hurt people I care about). And yes, this comment mostly brought to you by the ongoing conversation about Wiscon and the Islamaphobia that comes with that discussion.

Comments

[firebirdgrrl.livejournal.com]

I love New York-have never lived there, but one of the happiest moments I've gotten to repeat is coming closer to the city on the bus, through the tunnel and then you're there. It gives me this amazing joy like everything is magic. Might be trite, but that's how I feel.

I started growing my hair a few years ago and since then, I've noticed a lot of women my age and going slightly older, almost a decade less than in the article are also doing the short hair where short hair =grownup.I enjoy lots of types of hair including short, but I love the feel of long for me and for as long as I wish, I want to keep my long hair, old or not:)

[naath.livejournal.com]

I'm not middle aged yet, but I too love my long hair and don't want to chop it all off to look "grown up". And for all it can be a pain to dry and keep untangled, I think short hair can be higher maintenance (all that having to go to he hair dresser, and needing to blow dry it into styles and so forth... of course there are more practical short cuts but you do still have to have it cut sometimes to keep it that way).

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

It absolutely infuriated me during the last election when the Republican candidates kept telling Midwesterners and small town people that they were the "Real Americans" and these ads seem to be an outgrowth of that. What, I'm not real because I've lived my whole life on the East Coast, and more than half in NYC? New York is only for rich people? No.

I understand the anger at Wall Street, but there are ways to get that across without smearing a city that has been hit hard by this recession.

[sethg]

Also, a lot of these “Real American” Republicans wallow in nostalgia for the Confederacy. Go figure.

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

Oh, good goddess, does that long hair article resonate with me. At 50, my hair is nearly to my waist. For the first time in my life, I love my hair. It is graying, yes - here and there in pleasing little streaks. It frizzes in the humidity, but curls in long ringlets when it's freshly washed. I love the feel of the ponytail brushing against my back, bouncing along as I walk. I love walking out into the sun and seeing the red highlights in my hair catch fire. My hair is fine, thank you very much, and I'll wear it whatever length I fucking well please :)

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

My hair doesn't work long. It just doesn't. It becomes such a tangled mess that dreadlocks are just a few unwashed weeks away. It also takes over my face, resulting in an effect similar to living room drapes on a small bathroom window. And yet, having grown up in the 70s, at high school when hair down to one's waist was in fashion, I longed for that long, long hair. Occasionally I tried to grow it out, only to result in emergency trips to the stylist (so that I wouldn't take the scissors myself out of sheer frustration). The longest I've ever managed was just past my shoulders, but even that didn't work. Now it's collar-length, and that's where it will stay.

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

I hate to reply to myself, but I'm reading the comments on the article at NY Times, and it's the same thing that always kept me trying and failing to grow my hair -- the idea that only long hair is sexually attractive on a woman and that short hair is necessarily 'mannish', which is a different kind of pressure than the age one, but just as insidious. The two kinds of pressure are probably actually related.

[sqwook.livejournal.com]

>And I almost punched a man in a bar once for telling me he thought I was so hot because when women cut off their hair it means they are finally over their fathers.

Oh, ick. Congratulations on not resorting to violence.

[rm.livejournal.com]

That story is much longer and involves him calling me and inviting me to breakfast the next day, me visiting his outrageous apartment (two multi-million condos with teh walls knocked out between) filled with artifacts illegally liberated from East Asia, weird New Age drama, a grand piano, and my very, very strong feeling he wanted to add me to his collection of pretty things in glass boxes.

[eris.livejournal.com]

I fully intend to be one of the old ladies with very long hair!

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

I'm halfway there!

I just turned 40 last month. My hair comes to the tops of my thighs, and is deep violet. And I will continue to dye it violet til the RA finally bests me and I can't get the cap off the dye anymore.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

I admit that my perspective on NY isn't yours, but I totally agree with your anger on that article (I saw the headline on the dead-tree front page this morning). I hate seeing the city being hurt - from Albany or from farther afield - by people who don't take the time to understand what this place is and what it means to be a New Yorker. I'm of the belief that if you really take the time to imbibe the city and its dreams and not be afraid of it, even if you're only here for a week, you become part of it.

Thanks for the link to the slideshow! To use your backstage analogy, I love opportunities to forage through New York's old closets and trunks of costume and make-up and think of the *old* dreams.

Ew at the man in the bar - I think I would've nearly punched him too. What a load of post-Freudian nitwittery.

[norda.livejournal.com]

I anthropomorphize everyhing, and nothing so much as New York City. And I hate watching people hurt her. Living in New York is like living in America's backstage story.

Yes to this. No matter how much I may be resigned to where I am living right now, I have a constant undercurrent of homesickness for The Only City In The World, and I *will* keep dreaming that I can return to live there again one day.

* I've had long grey hair since my late twenties. I'm about to turn 48. I don't expect to cut it for anyone's reasons but my own.

[jnanacandra.livejournal.com]

I live in terror of the day that people will think I cut all mine off in deference to being a certain age.

OH GODS YES THIS.

I cut my hair off at 31 because, thanks to a newly acquired disability, I couldn't take care of it anymore. I resisted it as long as I could because short hair in your thirties is framed as the proper, expected thing to do. (I realize "a certain age" in the article refers to an older age bracket, but I think it also applies to mine.)

[rm.livejournal.com]

I agree with you re: age. I'm 38 now, and I definitely feel pressure to no longer name the number.

[ckd]

I have an odd relationship with NYC. I don't fear it, I love visiting it...and yet I don't know if I would ever want to move there. I think a bunch of that is just inertia + how comfortable I am with my current place (especially with a high concentration of jobs in my field starting literally a block away) rather than a dislike of NY itself.

(When I was looking for a change in 2008, one of my potential employers flew me down to NYC for interviews at their facility there since their Cambridge office was still too small to support their preferred interview process. I loved it, and if I'd been interested in relocating would have very seriously considered their NYC office instead of many of the other locations. London and/or Dublin might well have been ahead of it on my list, though....)

[dabhug.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the article about long hair. It's A Topic around here lately.

Long grey hair

[1-mad-squirrel.livejournal.com]

The other "option" for older women is, if you have long gray/silver hair, put it in an up do. My best friend from high school, her grandmother always wore her beautiful silver hair in a French twist.

I saw a lady recently with a gorgeous head of long silvery/gray hair, and I thought it was glorious.

P.S.

[1-mad-squirrel.livejournal.com]

I am 45, My hair is graying a bit, and naturally curly. It was long and ringlety when I moved here to AZ 12 & 1/2 years ago. It's short now, because the arid climate and the minerals in the water damaged it bit by bit, shorter and shorter. In the end, I just said "to hell with it" and chopped it off. I'm finding short hair a lot easier and cheaper to care for, and easier on my shower drain, too.

BTW, as regards to the other tyranny of women's hair, "You must color your gray." I say, "What the hell for?" My sprinkling of gray is a beautiful silvery/white, and if eventually it all turns that way, I'll be delighted.

Re: P.S.

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

If I could get my hair colored so that it's red with silver, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I suspect it would be pricy, though.

[azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com]

I loved living in NYC, it was just too cold for me. I couldn't take being utterly miserable for a third of the year. If it only had the climate of Mexico City (another place I'd love to live, though I probably never will).

Speaking of cool subway pictures...

[idunn.livejournal.com]

And I almost punched a man in a bar once for telling me he thought I was so hot because when women cut off their hair it means they are finally over their fathers.

Wtf.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

The hair article: I have very grave issues about my hair. I have such issues about my hair that I fear I have already bequeathed them to my niece who is clearly on her way to have Hair Issues - Hair is such a barometer when it comes to the way we are perceived socially. I live in fear of the day in which I, once again, will not conform the way I'm supposed to. My hair currently makes people comfortable and it is not going to stay that way forever...
I'll stop now...

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh Christ on a cracker...

I'm 45 and my hair is almost to my waist when it is down.

Not because I want to fuck my father. No, no. I wear it long because *it looks like ass if I wear it short.*

I get about two inches of regrowth a month (PunkHairGhodess didn't believe me until the first time I saw her for a touch-up on the color). Which means that the awesome short haircut lasts MAYBE two weeks before it starts looking shaggy again. Also, I have cow slobber (rather than cowlicks) on the back of my head, and with my wavy hair, it just poings out in about 36 different directions if I keep it short. Finally, I look like I have a round moonface with short hair.

[deusabscondidum.livejournal.com]

I don't like being in NYC and I hated living in the state of NY, but I don't feel like insulting the city for being itself. Cities have a certain soul, and NYC is definitely unique - full of drama and poverty and obscene wealth. Like every city it has its scandals and it's terrible things, but beautiful things too. NYC is amazing.

I lived in Elmira Heights, and people there complained about NYC because they said most of their taxes went to supporting it. Now in Washington State, I hear of people who think the same thing about King county, where Seattle is - they complain because that's where the liberals are, and that's where a lot of state revenue is spent. It is ridiculous. A city is highly populated, particularly the most famous city in a state. And NYC is one of the most famous cities in the world. So naturally it has power and money and needs lots of resources, and everyone else can just deal with it.

Thank goodness NYC has a big backbone and a tough attitude.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

The way you feel about NYC? Is akin to how I feel about My Beloved City of Lost Angels.

Yeah, smog. Yeah, traffic. Blah blah blah, yackety schmackety. I can give you a laundry list of everything wrong with her.

But at the end of the day, I cannot help but love her, tack, tawdriness and all. Granted, it is terribly messy and complicated love, but love nonetheless, dammit.

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

Hey, we wind up where we love. I've always like NYC. It was the second big city I ever visited as a kid. The first was...well, Philly, if you don't count Atlantic City (I don't, it's not big enough). Loved it. I think my first trip up was with my father to go to the old Madison Square Garden (while the current one was still being built) to see the circus. At least that is my memory.

I first lived in New York from 1983 to 1990- Brooklyn, Manhattan, & Astoria, Queens. Moved back down home to Long Beach Island, NJ and the back to New York in 2005.

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

My hair falls to my butt when it's loose. I'm 41 heading towards 42. I don't have any plans to cut it anytime soon, as I'm having too much fun with it and I don't even dye it fun colors.

My MIL tried suggesting I cut it when I was in my mid 20s (because only young girls have long hair) and I pretty much let her know in no uncertain terms that I would only cut my hair when I felt like it and that it wasn't something that was ever up for discussion.

I'm looking forward to eventually having a thick steel grey braid that hangs to my waist. The women in my family seem to go steel grey and then salt and pepper. How awesome is that?

And when I get to infirm to braid it myself, that's when I'll chop it off, get a perm, and dye it purple.

Besides, I can't have the regulation librarian bun, if I have short hair! ;-p

[sociallyawkrd.livejournal.com]

I have been a bit distracted but I finally chipped in and boosted the signal.

Obviously Memphis isn't NYC and I have done my share of bitching about it because it does have issues but I feel the same way sometimes about what the locals say about it. And I always laugh about people's warnings of *DANGER* because they almost are never talking about anything that really is unsafe or dangerous.

We like NYC. We have all experienced it in different ways in different times of our lives but I have to admit that I really loved it when we had our whirlwind GMA trip and it was Thomas's first time there.

anthropomorphizing NYC

[amberite2112.livejournal.com]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK72yzpE_AM

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, my father's side people really impress me. Yeah, dad's side is Finn- my grandfather was born there, my grandmother was actually born in NYC but the family moved back to Finland when she was very young.

And, oddly enough, after years of short hair, I'm growing my hair out. I haven't had a hair cut in over 2 years. Partly because I was tired of short hair and partly no money for a cut. And I'll be 55 on November 2nd.

[crewgrrl.livejournal.com]

My mother is twice my age (well, almost - 25 to her 49). Her hair is significantly longer than mine (well past her shoulders and no signs of stopping). This is because it turns out that I was born to be one of those people who have chin length hair and clunky Doc Martens with tights and knee length skirts (or bright hand-knit socks and jeans). I simply had to finally get into college to figure this out.

[adelheid-p.livejournal.com]

Here's what I love about living in Pittsburgh: it's extremely affordable and in reasonable travel proximity to Niagara Falls, Washington, D. C. and New York City. (For others, Cedar Point is another selling point.) I love being able to ride the train from Pittsburgh to New York City. I have decided that I want to try to visit New York at least once a year specifically to visit a couple of dear friends who live there and see a Broadway show. If at all practical, I'd like to retire there. However, my husband can't be persuaded to move to a larger city so Pittsburgh is probably where we'll stay.