sundries

[rm]

My jet lag always gets worse before it gets better. Oh god.

Am I a bad person because when I see a headline that reads "Romney takes swing at Palin" it takes me a minute to realize that there wasn't actual brawling in the streets?

Isaac Mizrahi has five rules for a good dinner party. Since I suspect most of us have never hired a waiter, what are yours?

Has anyone else been following Disunion on The New York Times? It's a blog on the Civil War period, and it's pretty interesting. I thought their piece on Lincoln and Joshua Speed was particularly good for not introducing anachronistic labellings of sexuality and acknowledging the different physical and emotional lines of the period, while also not doing the "of course the president wasn't gay!" thing either.

Argh, one day I will get to see this production. Why is it that the only opera that does this televised at the movie theater thing is opera I have access to right here? Argh argh argh.

So Sherlock... Thank god I found Torchwood (among other things) between this and Harry Potter, or else I know who I'd be identifying with.

I'm not, thankfully, like Sherlock at all. I'm not that smart (and I'm pretty fucking smart). My propensity for pattern recognition, while extreme, makes me creative, paranoid and really clever, but not so much with the accurate. I don't have (nor want) the type of focus Sherlock demonstrates. I'm not that mean. Or petty. And connecting to other people is a reflex for me, even if sometimes I wish it wasn't.

But....

But, but, but, but....

The way my brain works does make it sometimes more than a tiny bit hard for me to live in the world the way I'm supposed to. I blurt out weird things at weird times, their relevance clear only to me. I get frustrated with others. I can be petulant and childlike. I can demand that people play not just at my speed but in my way. I can be pretty fucking hard to be around, and the diplomacy I do have is a cultivated skill because of just how awful I think I can be.

And I adore Sherlock because even if I am not remotely that guy, it gives us someone who struggles in the world because of the ways in which they are exceptional. Someone who doesn't apologize for it. Someone who is weirdly vulnerable, but isn't interested in that vulnerability, because of it. Someone who is funny-looking, magnetic, joyful, inappropriate, and challenging enough that other people like to try to shove him in boxes that aren't quite right. He is ambiguous and contradictory, with a face that both seems not fully formed and too sharp.

I watch Sherlock and I honestly feel better about the ways I'm not so good at people, the ways people misread me, the brutalities I inflict on myself, and the fact that no matter how smart I am, I'm not nearly as smart as I want to be and that's probably a good thing.

I'm not Sherlock, and Sherlock's not me, but I feel a little realer for this portrayal of him. Most others have been so much colder and so much more assured (this one is certain, but not so assured), so even if people tell me (not infrequently) that I should cosplay one of the older portrayals (because I'm thin and sharp and, I suppose, unsettling), it's this one that I feel like I actually get.

And the coat is amazing. Maybe I have a thing (Snape, Jack, Sherlock... there's a pattern, ne?)

Comments

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

dinner party:

1. failure is an option. if something goes horribly wrong and you end up ordering takeout at the last minutes, it's ok! it's perfectly ok! the point is to gather and enjoy the company.

2. presentation is everything. this, however, doesn't mean that you have to go all martha stewart; my kitchen is straight outta the '80s and my serving ware is all vintagely mismatched pyrex, but a little bit of forethought brings it all together. a kitschy coffee decanter works swimmingly for red wine. pop the fore-mentioned last-minute take out in a nice fire king bowl and you are all set.

3. serve vegetarian. meat-eaters will not be offended by a delicious meatless meal - they may even be inspired - but it sucks to be a vegetarian who gets relegated to the "well, you can just have more salad" corner.

4. for after-dinner digesty times, for the love of maude don't bust out games that aren't all-inclusive. charades and apples to apples are fun for everyone, but nobody wants to sit and watch two people play video games.

5. to encourage guests to leave, make the end time obvious (tactfully, tho) on the invitation. to encourage guests to linger, set out small bowls of candies, nuts, or other treats and offer to brew up another pot of coffee.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Number 4 for the win. For that matter, if the conversation founders to the point that only two people are talking for more than a minute or two, the host needs to start up a side conversation or steer the whole thing back into waters everyone can play in. It's just as awful to be trapped listening to two people talk about playing video games with nothing to do with yourself. (Not that I've got anything about video games or talking about them. Just that it's not good if most of the room is staring at their cuticles and wondering if it's time to leave yet.)

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

3. serve vegetarian

I think this is better put as "be aware of what your guests do and do not eat, and cook inclusively". I have friends who don't eat vegetables. Attempting to cook vegetarian for them would go over about as well as serving bacon-wrapped shrimp to someone who keeps kosher.

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

meatless does not necessarily mean "all vegetables."

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

Mores my point, you can name any food, and I can find somebody who loves it and somebody who won't touch it (and in most cases, somebody allergic to it). "Don't make meat" is no more a useful catch-all than "Don't use soy products" or "Keep a gluten-free kitchen". You're right that most omnivores are fine with eating vegetarian, but that's no help when your guests include someone who doesn't eat vegetables and someone who eats low-carb.

True story: I once put myself in charge of meal planning for a big group vacation. Then I found out that the guests included: Two vegetarians, one who was allergic to berries; two folks who kept ingredient-kosher; one diabetic who was on a strict low-fat diet; several people who didn't like fish; and one person who wouldn't eat tomatoes, cheese, green vegetables, chocolate, pasta that wasn't spaghetti, tropical fruits, or cream sauces. I just ended up making two options for every meal.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Oh, and someone was off beef. And the person who wouldn't eat the giant list also wouldn't eat beans, seitan, or tofu. I think there may have also been a nut allergy. There literally wasn't a single protein we could come up with that everyone would eat.

[azurelunatic]

Don't forget mushrooms. The local people with whom I often eat are bitterly divided on this front. All of the women (one of my friends, my aunt, me) like them. All of the men (my cousin, my virtual brother, his partner) dislike them. WAR!

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

I think mushrooms were off the list, too.

(Basically, one guy didn't like "weird" food. Where "weird" was just about anything not from 1950s Americana, except no cheese or tomatoes, and a handful of random Americanized Chinese dishes thrown in. He is a lovely person we adore, but his diet drives everyone nuts.)

[azurelunatic]

Don't forget mushrooms. The local people with whom I often eat are bitterly divided on this front. All of the women (one of my friends, my aunt, me) like them. All of the men (my cousin, my virtual brother, his partner) dislike them. WAR!