sundries

[rm]

My jet lag always gets worse before it gets better. Oh god.

Am I a bad person because when I see a headline that reads "Romney takes swing at Palin" it takes me a minute to realize that there wasn't actual brawling in the streets?

Isaac Mizrahi has five rules for a good dinner party. Since I suspect most of us have never hired a waiter, what are yours?

Has anyone else been following Disunion on The New York Times? It's a blog on the Civil War period, and it's pretty interesting. I thought their piece on Lincoln and Joshua Speed was particularly good for not introducing anachronistic labellings of sexuality and acknowledging the different physical and emotional lines of the period, while also not doing the "of course the president wasn't gay!" thing either.

Argh, one day I will get to see this production. Why is it that the only opera that does this televised at the movie theater thing is opera I have access to right here? Argh argh argh.

So Sherlock... Thank god I found Torchwood (among other things) between this and Harry Potter, or else I know who I'd be identifying with.

I'm not, thankfully, like Sherlock at all. I'm not that smart (and I'm pretty fucking smart). My propensity for pattern recognition, while extreme, makes me creative, paranoid and really clever, but not so much with the accurate. I don't have (nor want) the type of focus Sherlock demonstrates. I'm not that mean. Or petty. And connecting to other people is a reflex for me, even if sometimes I wish it wasn't.

But....

But, but, but, but....

The way my brain works does make it sometimes more than a tiny bit hard for me to live in the world the way I'm supposed to. I blurt out weird things at weird times, their relevance clear only to me. I get frustrated with others. I can be petulant and childlike. I can demand that people play not just at my speed but in my way. I can be pretty fucking hard to be around, and the diplomacy I do have is a cultivated skill because of just how awful I think I can be.

And I adore Sherlock because even if I am not remotely that guy, it gives us someone who struggles in the world because of the ways in which they are exceptional. Someone who doesn't apologize for it. Someone who is weirdly vulnerable, but isn't interested in that vulnerability, because of it. Someone who is funny-looking, magnetic, joyful, inappropriate, and challenging enough that other people like to try to shove him in boxes that aren't quite right. He is ambiguous and contradictory, with a face that both seems not fully formed and too sharp.

I watch Sherlock and I honestly feel better about the ways I'm not so good at people, the ways people misread me, the brutalities I inflict on myself, and the fact that no matter how smart I am, I'm not nearly as smart as I want to be and that's probably a good thing.

I'm not Sherlock, and Sherlock's not me, but I feel a little realer for this portrayal of him. Most others have been so much colder and so much more assured (this one is certain, but not so assured), so even if people tell me (not infrequently) that I should cosplay one of the older portrayals (because I'm thin and sharp and, I suppose, unsettling), it's this one that I feel like I actually get.

And the coat is amazing. Maybe I have a thing (Snape, Jack, Sherlock... there's a pattern, ne?)

Comments

[byzantienne.livejournal.com]

I was going to give you Sherlock links.

wordstrings. Everything is in the top post; read in order. It's a really amazing meditation on obsession and 'high-functioning', and strangeness.

I kind of love it.

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

1. Do as much prep beforehand as possible, and have your entree be something that's made in the oven or the slow cooker, not something that has to be sauteed last minute or made to order like steaks. Good prep and mise en place lets you enjoy your own party.

2. Know your guests' dietary habits, health issues and strong likes or dislikes. It won't go over well if you offer your guests something they can't eat because it's too spicy, contains meat and they're veg, or will kill them.

3. Invite people who are diverse yet tolerant, and mix people who know each other and new people. Makes for great conversations.

4. Avoid scented candles, incense or potpourri and don't wear heavy perfume. Your guests should be able to smell the food and wine, as smell is such a huge component of taste.

5. Pay attention to plating. Your food should look as good as it tastes without being a ridiculous nouvelle cuisine architectural construction, and it should never look like it was just dumped on, cafeteria-style. Wipe drips of sauce from the edges of plates with a clean, damp towel. And use simple plates--they should be an attractive backdrop to the food, not distract from it. Solid black works great for most applications.

6. Because I couldn't go with just 5--Even if something didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, *don't* criticize your own cooking when your guests are praising it. My ex used to do this and it took away from our guests' enjoyment of the food. Keep your perfectionism to yourself. Most of them will never know it didn't turn out perfectly unless you mention it.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

:D

Yep, the coat is awesome :D

I love Sherlock for much the same reasons :)

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

That coat is obviously related to Jack's, because damn, it's a character in its own right!

Ambiguous (in all it's various semantic and literal meanings!) is my favourite word and this Sherlock pretty much embodies it.

As per usual in these kinds of dynamics I always identify with the foil. Even though we're, like, automatically supposed to id with John because he's the POV character - still, I always feel like I should be helping at the hero's side rather than actually be the hero!

[elisi]

Wonderful description of Sherlock!

And the coat is amazing. Maybe I have a thing (Snape, Jack, Sherlock... there's a pattern, ne?)
Don't forget Spike! Anyway, the coat has a vid: Get Your Coat. :)

[elainasaunt.livejournal.com]

This. The gold standard of Sherlock fic.

[killerweasel.livejournal.com]

You should check out humansrsuperior's art/drawing series about Sherlock and his coat (that links back to the other 6)

[random-girl.livejournal.com]

We usually host between 8 and 25 people for our parties; we're planning one for the 18th this year (annual gift exchange among friends).

1) Think about seating and make accommodations. A lot of tips involve having fewer seats than party guests to encourage mingling, but my house is TINY and people like to gather and chat and will sit on the floor. So we will often re-arrange the living room to make room for more chairs (even if people are sitting in our office chairs) and we have three plump, soft floor pillows for the traditionalists. For 8, our living room does fine without re-arranging. For more than 12, we usually push the couch back, move the bar (its on wheels) and a few other tricks to clear traffic areas. It sounds unromantic, but it's been a clear winner for guests and us.

2) Have quiet areas. We open several rooms to our guests; typically folks with little ones hang out in my office, where I've set things up so the little ones can play, watch TV, etc. Adults who need a breather from the party can wander into our master bedroom and get away from the main room where there are a lot of people.

3) Schedule the food and drinks. Hubby has a schedule for purchasing items (so they're as fresh as can be), a schedule of prepping them (he makes as many as can be made in advance, but on party day he likes to have a few hot items that are done at the time the guests arrive), and include any alcoholic mixed beverages in your planning; hubby likes to make up two pitchers of common mixed drinks that our friends like; then he can either make them a drink at the bar or they can serve themselves during the party.

4) Label stuff. This sounds disturbingly anal, but my friends appreciate it so much. We have vegetarians, vegans, and people with various allergies. It takes maybe 20 minutes to print out what each thing is (and if its safe for vegetarians, vegans and if it does or does not contain allergy items), and our guests do not get sick or require going to the emergency room.

5) Decorate. We don't have tons of cash, and our house isn't huge, and we usually spend all our dosh on the party supplies themselves, but I try to keep funny napkins in the house (purchasing after major holidays helps with this a lot), paper plates that can match for Halloween or Christmas (or mix the two themes, I'm not proud to mix paper plates...anything to avoid dishes), and two shelves in our hallway closet that contain various decorative gear that I can haul out and use to make things look nice; from table cloths to spider web candle holders. I am also not above printing funny signs from my printer and hanging those in obvious and not-so-obvious places.

We throw a massive 4th of July party each year (yay for being able to use the outdoors on those most times because our house can't easily fit that many people inside it), a holiday gift exchange party and typically one more random bash throughout the year. I would say that if I were writing a number 6 helpful hint, it would be to make sure there are things/activities to do, but sufficient in their own right that not everyone has to do them, or they can be skipped entirely if people prefer just to eat and talk. This year's holiday party will feature a showing of one of our favorite movies, "The Thin Man," but we may put it on and turn the volume off depending on how interested the participants are.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Apparently so many people wanted to buy Sherlock's coat that the company brought it back into production. (Alas, it costs 1300 pounds. I would hope it looks good for that price.)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/sep/04/sherlock-fashion-mens-coats

[rm.livejournal.com]

JESUS FUCK. 1300 pounds. I, as you know, have my extravagances, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That's half our trip to France.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I know, right? The fuck is it made out of? The picture in the article actually has a similar looking one for 600 pounds, which is still way too much for me, but begins to approach prices that I could see someone paying.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Right. Like $600, I'd do, if I was really feeling it. I can see someone doing 600 pounds. But once we cross $1,000 I no longer understand what is happening there.

Clearly, it's made out of something Swiss. It's the only explanation.

[weirdquark]

Have you ever gone window shopping at the high fashion stores in Rome? Playing "guess which thing in the window is the least expensive" is hilarious, though also depressing, because it's almost always the accessories, and they cost about five times as much as you would think is reasonable for the outfit they go with.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Sure, and I mean, I do live here, where there are tons of stores I can stroll into and see a $600 tank top, but I tend to think, perhaps erroneously, that even with a budget that could afford such things, I would bother -- there are items in which luxury prices shine through with luxury quality and craftsmanship, but there is an upper limit. 1,300 pounds probably wouldn't be it for a coat for me if I had that sort ob budget, but 2,000 probably would be.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

Hire a waiter? Someone doesn't remember that most people cannot afford that nonsense.

I cook regularly for big groups - if I don't have extra teenagers at the dinner table, I've gone crazy and invited 25 - 30 people over for the weekend.

1) Start prep at least 5 days in advance. Clean the house, have the carpets cleaned, scrub up the extra tables, wash and press the linens, scrub the bathroom. Start cutting up the veg for crudites and hard-boiling the eggs for deviled eggs 2 days ahead. Prepping in advance means getting to sit down with your guests.

2) If someone offers their help, ACCEPT IT. It makes them feel happy.

3) Have a nice assortment of nibblies beforehand. My nibblies list is consistently cocktail shrimp with an interesting sauce; assorted fine cheeses and salumes, interesting breads and crackers; fancy deviled eggs; fresh veg with a homemade dip; fresh fruit. This gives your guests something to take the edge off, especially if something has gone awry in the kitchen and is holding up dinner.

4) DECANT YOUR DAMNED WINE. Seriously. If you're serving wine with dinner, decant it at least half an hour before you plan to serve dinner. Nice reds need a little time to open up AND you need to be able to taste the wine discreetly beforehand, to check for cork taint. Even the most meticulous wino sometimes gets a bad bottle. And for the love of Pete, when you're pairing wines with dinner, don't use your guests as guinea pigs.

5) Dessert does not have to be extravagant. I will never forget the party where I was at a loss for dessert, and took Younger Monster's suggestion to make Rice Krispie Treats. I used half cocoa krispies and half regular, added a bit of cocoa to the butter/marshmallow mixture, and drizzled the cut squares with a little melted chocolate. They disappeared in seconds, and my friends BEG me to bring them to gatherings. Sometimes, it really IS the little things.

[lyorn.livejournal.com]

Dinner Party:

1. Invite nice people who will have fun spending the evening together and like your style of cooking.

2. Cook things you find interesting. In the kitchen, too much routine is drudgery.

3. Plan usage of resources. Time, space, pots, pans. Make a schedule. Structure your work. Check that you have everything you need in time to make adjustments if you don't.

4. Get help for the cooking. You will need a second pair of hands at some time.

5. Relax. The nice people you invited will love the food and company too much to even notice that you are not perfect, unless you panic and spoil the mood.

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

1) Clean the space from top to bottom, then bottom to top.

2) Use fresh ingredients in your food.

3) Ask about allergies ahead of time.

4) Accept all compliments with, 'thank you.' (In other words, never say things like 'this old thing' or 'I didn't spend any time on it' or 'I thought it was terrible'. I read an article years ago that said when someone attempts to be modest in this way, by playing down compliments, it actually insults the taste of the person giving the compliments.)

5) Pay attention to the wants and needs of your guests, asking if they'd like more food and drink, but try not to be a pest about it, :).

I love "Sherlock" too. Unfortunately I've only managed to see the first two episodes - it's running on PBS here and it's been spotty finding episodes, :(.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Wow. Mizrahi's rules are awfully...pretentious. And I've thrown multicourse dinner parties with china and crystal candelabras and flower arrangements. I love formal dinner parties. I've never hired a waiter.

My rules:

1. If it's a sit down dinner (not a cocktail party with lots of munchies), make either the menu or the guests your primary goal. These days everyone has some kind of food restriction--this person won't eat fish, that one's allergic to nuts, the other keeps semi-kosher. If your goal for this party is to invite X, Y, and Z, don't plan your menu until you know who's coming and then pick a menu that everyone will eat (almost) everything from. If you're dying to serve beef stroganoff, don't plan a guest list that includes a vegan, an observant Jew, and someone who refuses to eat any sauces. If that doesn't include person X who you're dying to have, have another party in a month with a different menu, but don't make people sit down to a main course they can't touch.

2. If you're making something ambitious, make a schedule for the day. Make sure you've included time to set the table and put the pots away, and include a buffer for when you suddenly realize that you have no ice in the house and have to send someone on an emergency run.

3. If something goes horribly wrong, laugh about it. If your guests can't find the humor in your setting fire to the turkey or dropping the souffle and will judge you and hold it over your head, they are not appropriate people to invite for a dinner party. The real goal in the end is to enjoy the company of your friends. If the souffle falls...I have found very few people who will turn down box mix brownies straight out of the oven. Even if they're not quite as elegant.

4. Be a gracious host. Take compliments well, don't fret too much about perfection, try not to have an argument with your partner in front of your guests even if said partner forgot to defrost a critical ingredient. Be as perfectionist as you want before anyone gets there, but once people arrive, the most important thing is for everyone to have a good time and be comfortable. Roll with the punches. And don't spend so much time fussing that you can't enjoy yourself. If you don't relax, your guests won't, either.

5. Don't feel too pressured to serve host gifts if they don't fit what you're serving. If you've planned out elaborate wine pairings for each course and someone shows up with a random bottle of something else, thank them very graciously and then put the bottle somewhere to be used at a later point.

I can see how Mizrahi's trying to make a point about not consuming yourself so much with preparations that you don't enjoy the party. It's really important to actually enjoy the party. But rules like his make it sound like you can only throw a dinner party if you're old school old money. I've been to lovely dinner parties thrown by people who didn't even have enough chairs for everyone, let alone the money to hire waitstaff. But there was plenty of food and plenty of good company and plenty of laughter, and that's all you need.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

RE #4: Yes, yes, yes, gods yes.

"Thank you", "I'm so glad you like it" and even "Oh, good! I swiped the recipe from [wherever]!" are fine. "Oh, I don't like the way it turned out." is not. It's such a downer!

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I'd never thought of it that way before I read the article, but after that I started absolutely training myself to only say 'thank you', :).

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

dinner party:

1. failure is an option. if something goes horribly wrong and you end up ordering takeout at the last minutes, it's ok! it's perfectly ok! the point is to gather and enjoy the company.

2. presentation is everything. this, however, doesn't mean that you have to go all martha stewart; my kitchen is straight outta the '80s and my serving ware is all vintagely mismatched pyrex, but a little bit of forethought brings it all together. a kitschy coffee decanter works swimmingly for red wine. pop the fore-mentioned last-minute take out in a nice fire king bowl and you are all set.

3. serve vegetarian. meat-eaters will not be offended by a delicious meatless meal - they may even be inspired - but it sucks to be a vegetarian who gets relegated to the "well, you can just have more salad" corner.

4. for after-dinner digesty times, for the love of maude don't bust out games that aren't all-inclusive. charades and apples to apples are fun for everyone, but nobody wants to sit and watch two people play video games.

5. to encourage guests to leave, make the end time obvious (tactfully, tho) on the invitation. to encourage guests to linger, set out small bowls of candies, nuts, or other treats and offer to brew up another pot of coffee.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

If your guests can't find the humor in your setting fire to the turkey

This actually happened to me last Thanksgiving.

Typically, I will brine the turkey on Tuesday, smoke it on Wednesday, then put it in an electric roaster, set low, to finish overnight. (Because of some family and friends' work schedules, we often have Thanksgiving dinner early in the day.)

Last Thanksgiving, at around 5AM, my smoke detectors started shrieking. The entire main floor of the house was filled with smoke and my turkey was merrily burning. The temperature control on the roaster had shorted in the night, jacking the temperature up to something unreasonable.

My husband FREAKED OUT. Me, I put out the turkey, dragged the whole mess into the back yard, opened all the windows, woke Elder Monster and put him to air out the house, yanked on my boots and cloak, and went off to buy another turkey. I found a fresh one of reasonable size, took it home, smoked it for half the usual time, and finished it off in the oven at a higher temperature, just in time for my guests to arrive.

It gave us a HYSTERICAL story to tell at dinner, and no one minded that the turkey hadn't been brined and was not smoked for as long as usual. This year, a guest brought a toy fire extinguisher as a gag, and the entire assembly laughed their asses off. I will never live down the burning turkey (and I'm glad of that, because it was FUNNY!)

number 5

[newwaytowrite.livejournal.com]

agreed.

After all the gift is for the host. As a thank you. To be enjoyed later. Much later even. Unless it is flowers..then find a vase and display them...or better yet...the guest could bring the flowers in a vase.

[iamradar.livejournal.com]

I like all the suggestions people have about making a party go much more smoothly (especially as I hostess a birthday thing once a year) but one thing I really wish people would get is RSVP.

Seriously.

Even if a person isn't sure they can make it, a communication with "I'm not sure" is a whole lot better than not knowing whether or not a person can make it. My budget is usually fairly tight for events and it makes a huge difference to me (both in what I buy and what space I need) between having ten people and thirty.

If someone is going to care about someone enough to include them in an event, the invited person needs to reply!

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

It was Elder Monster who slapped some sense into me about that. He was probably 10 or so? I dunno. But everyone was raving about the roast, I was kind of miffed about the gravy and was all "Really? I'm not really happy with the way things turned out.", and he YELLED AT ME.

I got a ten minute lecture about how I'd been cooking forever and worked really hard to learn how to do it well, and I should stop getting myself worked up over little things that no one notices and just say "Thank you", because anything else was really annoying.

(Elder Monster is now 18 and a Culinary student. I should have known he'd land in that field.)