Sep. 16th, 2003
Living in and growing up in NYC one gets used to hearing all manner of racial hostility, and mostly one also learns to overlook it -- afterall, everyone hates everyone else here, and the use of slurs generally indicates little more than poorly vented rage and a limited vocabulary.
Besides, I'm a girl. I'm not supposed to say anything, and normally, I don't.
Tonight after a long and emotionally killer day and an audition that took a lot out of me (sidenote: I have to chant "I hate myself; I hate myself" over and over under my breath after auditions -- it's where the nervous energy goes -- isn't that lovely?), I hopped in a cab.
I ignored the first several remarks the guy made about the Chinese, but when he started randomly shouting out the window at them, I said in the smallest most polite little voice, "Sir, can you please not make racist comments while I'm in the car?"
"This is America, I can say anything the fuck I want."
"True enough," I replied, "but please pull over here, as I wish to get out."
"No! You're not allowed!"
"Sir," I said trying to placate. "I'm going to pay you, I just would prefer to get out of your car."
At which point he pulled over and started threatening me, screaming about how he would beat my face in if I gave him any of my money, that I had no right to speak to him.
And so I jumped out and got in the cab behind him, unable to figure out why I felt so poorly for doing the right thing for once in my life.
Besides, I'm a girl. I'm not supposed to say anything, and normally, I don't.
Tonight after a long and emotionally killer day and an audition that took a lot out of me (sidenote: I have to chant "I hate myself; I hate myself" over and over under my breath after auditions -- it's where the nervous energy goes -- isn't that lovely?), I hopped in a cab.
I ignored the first several remarks the guy made about the Chinese, but when he started randomly shouting out the window at them, I said in the smallest most polite little voice, "Sir, can you please not make racist comments while I'm in the car?"
"This is America, I can say anything the fuck I want."
"True enough," I replied, "but please pull over here, as I wish to get out."
"No! You're not allowed!"
"Sir," I said trying to placate. "I'm going to pay you, I just would prefer to get out of your car."
At which point he pulled over and started threatening me, screaming about how he would beat my face in if I gave him any of my money, that I had no right to speak to him.
And so I jumped out and got in the cab behind him, unable to figure out why I felt so poorly for doing the right thing for once in my life.