Sep. 13th, 2003

I have resolved the earlier situation of stess in a way that is not ideal and will probably lead to more stress later, but I can for the moment function. Unfortunately I have so much residual stress going on that I have no ability to work on the writing I want to be doing, or the writing I should be doing. This is frustrating.

I got the sides for my Tuesday audition. They are... amusing. And not in a bad way, just, another case of the universe giggling at me -- one of them is a rant about how the character gave up Judaism because she and her husband decided amour was their religion.

I'm sorry I do these things... just the venting does actually really help me. I know I'm supposed to be cultivating an air of mystery and competance, but that's not really who I am. Plus I think I cultivate that air unintentionally, a lot, actually.

I have a hard time being unique in a lot of ways -- because I'm such a chameleon who takes great pleasure from being a mimic and really learned to be one for personal preservation purposes. It makes me very strange, and I think unlike a lot of other people with similar tendencies, in that I do reveal myself constantly, as opposed to not at all. Although yes, I suppose, I am the queen of misdirection.
I feel extremely accomplished. For reasons too many and bizarre to mention, despite Not Being a Designer, a did the bulk of the figuring out and putting together of the set for the Jewish ritual theater thingy, and today it was finally complete, and functional, and I was nearly in tears of frustration, but it's done, and it worked. It's hard for me to describe why I'm so proud of it, but enough so I'm taking pictures of it tomorrow. I mean, I was able to plan and execute on something, and it also allowed me to have a vision of what I would have done had I actually been the designer -- which is good just from the stand point of having a vision and now understanding what it takes to articulate that and get it done.

First performance is tomorrow. I hurt all over, from a lot a lot a lot of work.

Citibank drama averted -- it seems everything they told me wasn't true and now everything is fine. Feh.

Saw Once Upon a Time in Mexico last night. Still not sure what I thought. I mean -- heightened reality -- so should be my thing, but it so wasn't a universe that compelled me (other than the Day of the Dead scene) that I was torn about it. Also bad eye things. But lots of brilliant, brilliant moments -- definitely masterful, but hard for me to really access, I guess is the best way of explaining it.

I have to go to Kinkos now. I don't want to. But it's what I've signed up for, you know. Although with the post office closed until Monday, I might procrastinate it.

Finally, yesterday there was a bank-robbery near the temple, which ended in a car chase, which ended when the car jumped a curb, cut off a tourists legs and so forth... all of this while I was out and about in the neighborhood -- I apparently just happened to walk the opposite direction on an errand at the same time. Thankfully.

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