(no subject)

The problem with role models is you can use them to strive, or use them to hate yourself. Which explains a great deal about a number of things in my life that should have occured to me sooner.

In other news, it wouldn't be a week if someone with my last name and family from Sicily didn't email me to see if we were related. Of course I look like your aunt, the whole bloody island is related. I'll deal with that later.

Also, for those I promised info to:

Actors Temple
339 West 47th St. (btw 8/9)
“Scapegoat: An Ancient Tale for a New Year"
5:00pm
FREE!

(no subject)

A voice lesson that could best be described as frantic. The good news I have 15 bars which when I have my shit together, I can sing. The number of times I have almost burst into tears in the last two hours -- too many to mention.

Which of course means I turn inward for private dialogue, and came to a useful realization.

When I'm seeking approval, I pretty much suck at it. I am not a white fluffy kitty cat. When I'm being a con artist, I pretty much get what I want. Which means I need to view auditions not as a "please please please like me" process, but as a "dude, I _so_ know what I'm doing" process. Illuminating. *pets the nice people who live in her head*

Off to the Synagogue momentarily. Hoping I can find the time I need to cry. Am in a very wound, somewhat horrifying mental place.

And I'm still singing I Will Follow Him.

At least my voice teacher and I decided we should figure out my actual range to put on my resume. For anyone who cares my belt is E2 - C#4 and my head voice is F#2 - F#4. She thinks I _might_ be able to eventually push the belt to a D, and thinks I have a lot more head voice, I just have a huge problem getting over that second break. Anyway, she swears this is all perfectly respectable. I just think it helps with that part where I pretend like I know what I am doing.

I'm getting better at not calling people and ranting at them psychotically after auditions. I think that's important.