(no subject)

I haven't felt very communicative the last couple of days and it's vaguely wearing at me. Finally decided not to audition for strawhat, because I decided I'd rather spend the summer in NYC busting my ass about film and TV, since that's the goal and all.

Bought Ross Reports the other day and got lots of things ready to go out in the mail, will get some more ready to go today, although it means going out in the latest incarnation of the foul weather. I am a big believer in wanting, praying, focusing on a thing with all my heart. I am also a big believer in just dropping it in the damn mail and putting it out of my damn mind. Finding the balance and finding what works (hi, superstitious, very much about the effects of even our most private intentions) seems far away and ever so frought.

Very antsy, very impatient, fairly stressed and crazed that as it's Sunday in another damn snowstorm, there's not much I can do today.

Did you know, that this week, there've been days that it's been warmer on Mars than in NYC? No, really. Ask justpat.

Am experiencing moderate anxiety about Valentine's Day (you know, that national holiday where every drug store in America looks like a gay baked potato exploded inside of it), but then I keep getting distracted and not-caring again. Will remember to go to Australian Homemade early this time though.

i'm a moron

I get all industrious, address and stamp a slew of headshot envelopes to go out tomorrow, and then have some sort of completely ridiculous _thing_ where I have to have full window envelopes before I can send anything out.

I finally found a decent place to order them online, cheap, and without all the crappy logos various websites place on them. So I'll do that tomorrow, and be annoyed at myself for being industrious, and then not, and oh yeah, that wasting stamps business too.

Irrational, irrational, irrational.