anxieties

My father emailed to say I received a jury duty notice at my parents' house, which among other things makes more sense. He doesn't know what to do with it, and I'm scared that if I have to report while I'm out of the country it's going to be some sort of horrible problem. I can't be arrested/fined if I'm on vacation and can't report to a notice received while I'm away, can I? Either way, jury duty is a nightmare since I only make money when I work. Oi. Speaking of which I just emailed them about that. Talk about anxieties I don't need.

Add to that a very tough day in studio (the Scottish play), my giving myself shit and all that usual about a slightly surreal myriad of things, and I'm not in the best place right now. Going to go swimming in a bit and try yet another cafe in Darlinghurst.

(no subject)

Fighting my nature, but all things are manageable. Also I ate dinner at Tropicana which I can only attempt to describe by saying:

Take Yaffa and make the food consistently good and well constructed
Make the decor plain white but maybe vaguely reminsicent of a 50s diner
Make it a film industry hangout from hell
Put it in LA

But, total yum and surprisingly not obnoxious. There's another cafe just down the block I'll probably try tomorrow, and then drinking with the studio on Friday I think. I may have even found someone to go to Salt with me.

U2 on the radio (Atchung Baby) and a random quote taped to this computer -- "The Will to Conquer is the First Condition of Victory"

See, it's like that here all the time. Just little things that make it all okay. Had a good chat with a girl in my studio from Brisbane today and she told me how she couldn't stop crying the night before the course started, and I finally felt like I wasn't crazy, because I don't know the details of it and I don't need to -- but there _were_ details. I also have been befriended by this 18-year-old kid in the performance studies course with whom I discuss NYC (he was there last summer) and our mutual "eh, why does anyone care?" for Romeo and Juliet. Also had a long chat today with an older woman in the directing course -- she's a stage manager by profession and has decided now is the time to make the move.

Didn't go to the after studio sessions today because it was a panel with a bunch of NIDA grads who work on some hip kids show and are like teen idols or something? And it's just like so entirely not my fate. Did swim though, and come out here.

One of the things that's interesting about the Cross (and it's weird that I keep winding up back here because after the first time I was here I didn't think I'd be able to set foot in it again, it so jarred some really old recollections), is how many more men than women you see -- because of the profusion of porn shops and sex facilities combined with being adjacent to a very male-centric gay neighborhood -- it's just all men around here.

I, BTW, look hot hot hot, in my little black linen capris, a fabulous black shirt that I've unbuttoned more than I usual do and fists me like a corsetted blouse, my character shoes (that I always wear out and about and someone complimented me on in CityRail) and this aqua and russet hand-dyed hairband thing I bought at the Opera House. When the sun was still on I had my sun glasses out and people were actually checking me out. Brilliant brilliant. After a day like today with doing scenework that turned into me begging my husband (played by another woman) not to leave me for convincing him to murder the king, it helped (and yes, this is how we do Lady Macbeth as a low status character -- or rather at least how I did, and it was actually sort of random that I went there).

All the really annoying people have moved out of my room at the hostel, and although the person on the bunk under me shakes the bed too much it's a vast, vast improvement.

Also, Anzac biscuits own me.

And and and! I thought parts of America lacked Jew exposure! There are very very few secular or even reform Jews here as far as I can tell (not that many Orthodox either, but from conversations I've had with people here that seems to be what it is when it is -- I did see some Hassids too) and when people find out I am from NYC they ask me if I'm Jewish and I explain and start cringing waiting for the Woody Allen or Seinfeld comment, and then they ask me about Kabala, because they are studying it, because it's such an important spiritual practice (all the celebrities say so!) and to talk to a real Jew about it.... I mean, can you imagine?