(no subject)

I've been sick for nearly a month now. I'm on my period (which doesn't help at all, although good to know I'm not so sick that that's off course). And I am physically and emotionally exhausted by what has really been a non-stop series of things, many, admittedly, of my own making. Tomorrow is going to be long long long and I have to get up early early early. I have this massive Descensus backstory thing that I finally figured out how to write in my head, but I won't be doing it tonight, in part because there's no time, and in part because the part of myself I have to get to, to do it is, well I'm not sure of the word really, upsetting? I love that people enjoy my fanfiction, I love the act of conjuring that is characterization in all mediums and for all purposes, but sometimes it hurts for ones gifts to so clearly be in the articulation of shame.

It is the hardest thing in the world to stand still and be berated. It is also the easiest. And that's a great strength, to let your lids drop by half, to unfocus the eyes, to relax the hands and listen to an accounting, not just of your sins and their repercussions, but of all the sins of the world that you have made worse for the simple reason that the heart knows nothing of addition, but only powers.

I owe many of you email, largely about terribly important things. I will do my best to get to it some time in the afternoon.

Voice Post:

(no subject)

I just did my taxes. So much less bad than I thought. I'm jumping around for joy.