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rmPeople,
As much as I, too, would like to think Kurt and Blaine kissed in that hall, at that moment:
- Blaine is still freaked out because when he last tried to go to a dance with another guy he got the crap beat out of him
- Kurt has just realized that things at McKinley are as bad as they ever were.
- The school is NOT a safe space, especially when the rest of it is empty -- what seems to give them privacy also puts them at risk if they run into someone else who might be feeling violent.
I cannot emphasize enough how complicated PDAs are for gay teens and gay people in general. I cannot emphasize enough that even though things may seem, and even be, perfectly safe they won't necessarily feel that way to people because of their own experiences with violence or being warned about violence or whatever.
I am 38-years-old. I live in New York City. I have let go of same-sex lovers' hands in public places within the last ten years when I wasn't entirely sure it was safe for us to be holding hands because I didn't know the neighborhood or it was late at night and drunk people make me more wary or whatever. And dudes, New York Fucking City, not a high school in Lima, Ohio.
This is huge mileage may vary territory for everyone. I'm totally okay with your "they kissed in the hall" head-cannon, but really worn out from the "Blaine sucks for not touching Kurt at x, y, or z moment" stuff and the "it's totally safe for them to be kissing!" assumptions and the "it must be evil FOX not giving us more gay kisses" theories.
This is complicated. This is complicated for gay people. This is complicated for US television. It's just complicated.
Please just let it be complicated.
And particularly for my straight readers, please, please, please take a moment to think about what it would be like to always be doing the math and then imagine what it would be like to do that math at 16. When you've already experienced assault. And you have one good thing and you're terrified that if you show affection for that thing in public, it will get it destroyed (and to be extremely fucking clear, by destroyed I mean murdered).
Being out and proud does not stop you from doing the math.
As much as I, too, would like to think Kurt and Blaine kissed in that hall, at that moment:
- Blaine is still freaked out because when he last tried to go to a dance with another guy he got the crap beat out of him
- Kurt has just realized that things at McKinley are as bad as they ever were.
- The school is NOT a safe space, especially when the rest of it is empty -- what seems to give them privacy also puts them at risk if they run into someone else who might be feeling violent.
I cannot emphasize enough how complicated PDAs are for gay teens and gay people in general. I cannot emphasize enough that even though things may seem, and even be, perfectly safe they won't necessarily feel that way to people because of their own experiences with violence or being warned about violence or whatever.
I am 38-years-old. I live in New York City. I have let go of same-sex lovers' hands in public places within the last ten years when I wasn't entirely sure it was safe for us to be holding hands because I didn't know the neighborhood or it was late at night and drunk people make me more wary or whatever. And dudes, New York Fucking City, not a high school in Lima, Ohio.
This is huge mileage may vary territory for everyone. I'm totally okay with your "they kissed in the hall" head-cannon, but really worn out from the "Blaine sucks for not touching Kurt at x, y, or z moment" stuff and the "it's totally safe for them to be kissing!" assumptions and the "it must be evil FOX not giving us more gay kisses" theories.
This is complicated. This is complicated for gay people. This is complicated for US television. It's just complicated.
Please just let it be complicated.
And particularly for my straight readers, please, please, please take a moment to think about what it would be like to always be doing the math and then imagine what it would be like to do that math at 16. When you've already experienced assault. And you have one good thing and you're terrified that if you show affection for that thing in public, it will get it destroyed (and to be extremely fucking clear, by destroyed I mean murdered).
Being out and proud does not stop you from doing the math.
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no subject
Date: 2011-05-11 08:25 am (UTC)And what you say here rings very true.
Two years ago, when I was in relationship with this girl I'm still in love with... whenever we were out in public (whether just us or with friends who both knew and didn't know about us) she would be so afraid to hold my hand. She wouldn't let me even make the smallest gesture of physical affection. Even if it was something I would do to all my friends. She was so paranoid and afraid of what other people thought and what they would do, that she would never do anything in public. But when were at home, it would be another story.
Did it upset me at times? Yes, cause I wanted her to stop being so worried about other people's opinion. I wanted to proudly hold hands with my girlfriend in the street. I wanted to be just as affectionate as my friends seemed to be. But it made her uncomfortable, so I didn't protest. It sucks so bad wanting nothing more than to be with somebody, wanting to touch them but not being allowed to.