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rmTitle: Weights and Measures
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine
Word Count: ~3,400
Summary: Christmas Day: Puck makes friends wherever he goes, Wes has an announcement, Blaine and his father finally talk.
Author's notes: The next piece of this series will likely be posted within a week because it is deeply interwoven with this part and the previous.
The series so far:
Boston: Following Home | These Thousand Names for Gratitude | All the Honesty of Politics | Circles as the Dark Winds Down | The Distance Between Ohio and Boston | All the Pretty Little Horses | Languages You Don't Even Know | Fauna and Flora | Where Water Doesn't Speak | Under Glass We Are Expected to Blossom | You Were Someone Else Before We Came Here
D.C.: Strategies and Tactics | The Many Shades of Sugar | When Sea Levels Rise | The History of Sand | Tales of Minor Gods | A Little Bit Ruined | The Numbers Held by Ghosts
“Go back to sleep,” Kurt says, rolling out of bed ten minutes before his alarm. It's still dark, and Blaine mumbles something incoherent at him.
He pulls on Blaine's bathrobe instead of his own. It's heavier, terrycloth in stead of silk, and more modest for just that reason. There are an awful lot of people sleeping on their floor – well, Rachel's on the couch, but Santana's propped up in a sleeping bag against the wall by the door to the deck, and Tina's sprawled out on the air mattress in the middle of the room. Puck, Finn, and Artie, and both sets of parents are at various hotels, and for that, Kurt's grateful; women have always obligated him to less math.
There's nothing he actually has to do at this hour, not yet. He set the turkey brining last night, and he can't really start the clatter of side dish preparation while his guests are asleep. Still, he feels the need to survey the kitchen.
*
“What are you doing?” Santana asks, plucking at the sleeve of the bathrobe with distaste.
She's snuck up on him, and Kurt doesn't know why he's surprised.
He sighs. “Not sleeping.”
She looks down at the ice-filled cooler the turkey is in. “Did you think it was going to run away?”
He considers a quip about its reaction to her presence and then shrugs instead.
“You want me to clear everyone out of here so you two can have a morning?”
“I can't ask you to wake my guests up before seven,” he says.
She arches an eyebrow. “Seriously, Hummel? Have you forgotten how much of an asshole I am?”
*
Blaine wakes blearily to the click of their bedroom door, Kurt pulling out of the borrowed bathrobe and then yanking his pajama top over his head. There's noise from their living room, a lot of it, but he can't quite make it out.
“What are you doing?” he manages to ask.
“Santana's taking everyone to breakfast,” Kurt says.
When he climbs back into bed naked, Blaine curls up against him and falls back asleep.
Later, Kurt will wake him with a kiss, a hand job, something, to remind him that he is real.
*
It's ten before Santana brings the girls back, and Kurt has no idea how she's filled the time, but the turkey's in the oven and Blaine's in the shower. The boys have called to say they'll be over around noon; the parents are expected at one; and Wes should be walking in twenty minutes before the food goes on the table.
*
The boys show up late and hung over, Artie muttering something about a strip club. Santana high-fives him and then gets angry she wasn't invited.
Kurt is appalled. Also, slightly boggled that they'd found anything open considering the hour they'd left.
“Whatever you did last night,” he says, “you are not to mention it in front of Blaine's parents.”
“Hey, can we not mention it in front of my mom too?” Finn asks, hopeful and a little nervous.
Kurt smirks. “You should have thought about that before you did it,” he says.
“I was sort of trying not to,” Finn says.
Rachel begins lecturing no one in particular about the validity of sex work as a career choice.
Puck says something lewd, and Tina gives a talk to the hand gesture to the entire room before stalking out onto the deck.
“They're just trying to wind you up,” Blaine murmurs in Kurt's ear as he fidgets with the ruffle on the pink gingham apron his boyfriend's had since high school.
He purses his lips. “No. They're not,” he says. And he's not annoyed that his friends went to a strip club, not really. It's that they're ungrateful and rude and completely oblivious to how hard this all is.
*
Blaine's parents arrive before Burt and Carole. Kurt waves from the kitchen and lets Blaine deal with them, because he is flat out of cope and at least candied sweet potatoes are unlikely to say anything inappropriate or do anything rude.
It startles him, when Mr. Anderson wanders into the kitchen, places a hand on his shoulder and asks how he's holding up.
Kurt takes a long blink and a deep breath, because suddenly he just wants to yell at Mr. Anderson for being uptight and gullible and taken in by a damn gingham apron, but Kurt gives him a weak smile instead.
“I think the way it's supposed to,” he says.
“I usually do our turkey. If you need any help, let me know,” he says, and then he's gone, and Kurt has to blink up at the ceiling so as not to stamp his feet in frustration.
*
The arrival of his own parents doesn't actually make anything better, because they don't just want to offer help, they really want to help, and there is not enough room, and no, Carole may not take the mixer out to the living room to whip the potatoes.
Kitchen things happen in the kitchen. In secret. Just like bedroom things happen in the bedroom. Also in secret.
*
Forty minutes before the food is even supposed to be ready Finn starts hovering around the tables they've shoved together to make room for thirteen.
“Do not,” Kurt says sharply, “rearrange the seating cards. You are seated where you are seated for optimum social flow. Respect the occasion, respect your hosts, AND DO NOT TOUCH THE CARDS, FINN!”
“Did you write these out by hand, dude?” he asks, putting his back down.
“Blaine did,” Kurt says shortly, and Blaine shrugs awkwardly.
*
“Kurt still has the best freakouts,” Tina says to Artie.
He nods. “Total quality.”
“Did you guys really go to a strip club last night?” she asks.
“Not exactly.”
“What do you mean, not exactly?” Tina asks incredulously.
“Puck met a hooker in the hotel bar,” Finn says cheerfully and far, far too loudly.
Tina giggles.
“I'm hoping this is new slang I don't understand, Finn,” Burt calls out from across the room.
In the kitchen, Kurt presses his forehead against the refrigerator and moans in dismay.
*
This was not the plan, Kurt thinks, when Blaine sneaks up behind him in the kitchen and curves an arm around his waist.
But Blaine's father is watching and Kurt's still being the girl (he thinks it always and only with vicious air quotes) so maybe it will all work anyway.
Both he and Blaine jump when the buzzer rings.
“That'll be Wes,” Kurt says, and he feels Blaine grin shyly against the back of his neck. “Wait, is this weird?” Kurt suddenly asks turning in the circle of his arms.
“You mean did I fantasize about what holidays with him would look like when he was the first boy I'd ever kissed and he had no idea what was going on with his brain or his dick or anything else?”
“Yeah,” Kurt says, amused, awkward, and glad Blaine is talking softly.
“Yeah,” Blaine says, “but it always looked like this.”
“I don't --”
“He was always going to be the memory of something that didn't happen, and I knew that long before he did.” Blaine kisses him, and then is gone, answering the door, Wes hugging him with one arm and letting Blaine press his face into his neck as he always does.
It doesn't seem weird to Kurt, but he suddenly realizes it's probably going to seem weird to everyone else.
*
The meal makes it to the table only ten minutes later than planned.
“Shouldn't someone say grace?” Mr. Anderson asks placidly when Kurt moves to cut the turkey without much fanfare.
Blaine reminds him Kurt's an atheist.
“I'm Jewish,” Rachel blurts out into the silence. “And I'm eating tofurky anyway.”
“Rachel Berry, you are terrifying and hilarious,” Kurt says calmly, still holding the carving knife and serving fork over the bird.
Mr. Anderson looks from Rachel to Burt for help.
Burt holds up his hands. “These boys cooked the meal, figure it's their call,” he says.
Everyone looks around the table nervously. Finn stammers something that doesn't quite turn into words and Artie looks more uncomfortable than Kurt's ever seen him.
“I'll do it,” Tina blurts.
Everyone turns to her.
“You're Jewish too,” Puck snaps.
“I know that,” she snaps right back, and then takes a deep breath. “Can I Kurt?” she asks.
He nods his head at her to get it over with.
“Today's an important day to a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. I think this Christmas is probably an unexpected one for all of us – some of us don't celebrate it and all of us are used to Ohio being home. But home is where the people you stay loyal to are, even if it's not easy,” she looks at Kurt, “or not what you planned,” she looks at Blaine's father. “So maybe we should take a moment to be grateful that a bunch of people who believe some stuff we may or may not created an excuse for all of us to be together today, in Kurt and Blaine's beautiful home, eating more food than is probably decent.”
There are a few amen's around the table, and Blaine has to nudge Kurt to start carving the turkey.
“Thank you, Tina,” Kurt says, not looking up from the bird to her.
“I would have gone for something more formal,” Rachel declares, cheerily, before adding, more softly, “but I didn't know what to say.”
*
“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” Wes says, grabbing Blaine's wrist in the kitchen between dinner and dessert as they try to do some minimal cleanup between courses.
“Of course,” Blaine says.
“Not here,” Wes clarifies.
Kurt tips his head towards the bedroom.
“You too, Kurt, if you can get away,” he says.
“In a minute.” It's not that Kurt can't put the dish he's washing down now, it's that, like when accepting someone's offer to pick up the check, he knows he needs to decline once.
He counts to one hundred and twenty before turning off the water, drying his hands, and heading for the bedroom himself. Hilariously, Blaine has left the door half open, and it reminds Kurt of his father's rules in that year before everything became like this.
*
“You don't have to do that,” Blaine's saying.
“Do what?” Kurt asks from the doorway.
“I'm proposing to Pris on New Year's,” Wes says.
Kurt gives a giddy clap. “Wait. Blaine, why are you trying to talk him out of that?”
“I'm not,” he says sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“Wes?”
“She knows this is coming, but we've agreed, we're not getting married or setting a date or anything until you two can.”
“You don't have to do that,” Kurt says, a little stunned.
“No,” Wes says calmly. “She doesn't. But I do. And you know why.”
“Nothing... none of that obligates you to --”
“I'm doing it for me, not for you, and she's fine with it. I just wanted you to know. Both of you.”
“We're not even engaged yet,” Kurt says, even as he fidgets with his ring nervously. “And you don't know what the court's going to do, and --”
While Kurt's being flustered and moved (and between dinner and desert, really?), Blaine reaches up to take Wes's hand.
“Thank you,” he says, squeezing.
There's a knock at the door, and Carole sticks her head inside. “You boys all right in here?”
They all turn to her, like they've been caught at something. Blaine seems unable to let go of Wes's hand, and Kurt just nods mutely before clearing his throat.
“We'll be right out,” he manages.
As she closes the door Kurt turns back in time to see Blaine kiss Wes's hand and then drop it, laughing delightedly. “The look on her face!”
Kurt chuckles and shakes his head. He loves his ridiculous boyfriend, so much. And one day, he really is going to marry him.
*
“So what was the secret conference about,” Burt asks, when Kurt's cutting Finn his second slice of chocolate peppermint cake.
“I'm proposing to my girlfriend on New Year's Eve,” Wes says smoothly. “I just wanted these guys to know first.”
“Good for you, kid.” Burt frowns in approval. “Seems funny, though.”
“How so?” Wes asks, and Kurt can tell Blaine wants to laugh at the obviously fake innocence in their friend's voice.
“When I asked Kurt's mother to marry me, there were the guys I told way in advance, when I was thinking about it, 'cause I wanted them to back me up, help me be sure, and the guys I told after I'd done it. Weren't any guys I told in the middle.”
“I've never been unsure about Priscilla. And I've never kept secrets from Blaine.”
“Wes wanted us to know that they're not going to set a date or get married until we can,” Kurt says. It feels terrifying.
“Why would you do that?” Mr. Anderson blurts out.
“Because it's the right thing to do,” Wes says calmly, but he's clearly startled by the abruptness of the question.
“It's complicated,” Kurt says quietly.
“I don't see how you can expect that of your friends,” Rachel says as if she somehow might get engaged tomorrow.
“I don't. We don't,” Blaine says.
“It is a fucking wonder her fathers didn't smother her in her sleep years ago, I swear,” Tina mutters under her breath.
Under the table, Puck kicks her.
“Hey,” Wes says, clear that everything is about to go downhill, “it's a choice we're making. We're not saying it's one anyone else should be making. And, for the record, it's not political.”
Blaine finds himself blushing down at his cake.
“You know, I don't even know you, kid,” Burt says to Wes. “But my wife tells me she sees something. And then you talk about your fiance, and I feel better about it. And then the conversation keeps going, and Blaine here looks like he wants to sink through the floor, and while it's none of my business, it sort of is now and would someone like to tell me what's going on here?”
Blaine glances at Wes. It's never been anyone's story to tell but his. Those are the rules. No outing. Ever. Even if Wes is straight and has never cared.
“I was assigned as Blaine's student mentor when he came to Dalton. And we spent a long time trying to be together, I don't even know why --”
Santana mutters something obscene under her breath as a suggested explanation.
“I can't kick you, but I can run you over with my chair later,” Artie informs her.
She gives him the finger.
“But I was straight and in love with him, and eventually we stopped being fifteen and incompetent and got on with our lives. But he's my best friend, and I know my life could be different than it is. And I'm not going to get married when he can't. I'm not ashamed of it, but none of you needed to know this, and I think I resent you asking,” Wes says, his assured manner never wavering.
“I'm sorry,” Burt says. “Thank you for telling us.” He sounds ashamed, and it breaks Kurt's heart.
“You always said it wasn't a choice,” Mr. Anderson says.
“Don't,” Blaine's mother says, putting a hand on his arm.
Finn takes a ridiculously huge bite of cake, and Kurt has the inappropriate urge to snap at him about stress eating, but he turns on Mr. Anderson instead.
“What does it even matter?” he asks.
“What?”
“First of all, you completely missed Wes's point, but whatever, I don't even have time for that. Choice, that's all we do every day. I chose these ingredients, you chose to be here, we chose this apartment, I choose your son over and over again even when he is ridiculous and annoying and overworked and distracting and depressed and tying himself in knots over you. I choose him. And you should be grateful for that. And for him. Because he never had a choice in you, and yet he wanted you to be here today.”
“Kurt?” Blaine says softly.
“Yes?”
“My father and I are going to go take a walk now, okay?” he says, standing. Kurt thinks he is trembling slightly.
“Okay.”
“And we'll do carols and presents when we get back.”
Kurt nods. “Sounds good,” he says, not trusting his voice not to be watery.
“Thank you,” he says, and gives him a chaste kiss.
*
They walk in silence for some time, not dressed quite warm enough.
“Kurt had all these plans for this,” Blaine says after a while. “Well, for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“He's always... he likes to be in control, manipulate things, make stuff do what he wants. I don't blame him. I mean, his mom died when he was a kid, right? And then he spent all of school being thrown into dumpsters and stuff. A lot of his life has really sucked.”
Mr. Anderson makes a considering noise.
“Even with.... even with some of the stuff that's happened to me --”
“The dance,” his father interjects, but Blaine just shrugs.
“My life hasn't been like Kurt's. It's been a lot easier. Especially when I was small. You gave me that. You and mom, and it means I can be a little bit gentler with the world. Kurt thinks....” Blaine stops for a moment, this is suddenly all so hard. “Kurt thinks you don't have a problem with me being gay.”
“I don't.”
“Well, for the record, I can't tell. But he thinks, and I guess I do too, that you somehow think I'm not enough of a man because of it. So I've spent the last two days dealing with him clattering around in that ridiculous apron thinking that if he plays 1950s housewife hard enough you'll eventually look at me and see what you want to see. And I've got to tell you, it makes me crazy. Because I love all the things Kurt is, some of which you would never understand, but I hate when he's playacting for you. So if you could just tell me what it is you want, so I can decide if I'm going to keep putting us through this, I would really appreciate that.”
“I just want to know who you are,” his father says.
“Then why did you send me away?” Blaine asks, amazed that his voice doesn't sound more anguished. He is also unsure of whether he means Dalton or Boston.
“I wasn't ready to listen,” he says.
“And you are now?” Blaine asks sharply.
“No, I don't think so,” he admits. “But I think I'm getting there.”
Blaine nods. It's something, but it may not mean anything at all.
“So, Wes, huh?” his dad asks after another long silence.
Blaine nods and laughs. “God, it was such a mess,” he says running a hand through his hair.
*
Carole holds Kurt's hand as they wait for Blaine and his father to return, while Rachel talks Mrs. Anderson's ear off nervously about nothing in particular and, for no discernible reason, tells her about the time she kissed Blaine.
Wes sits with Burt, and everyone else tries to pretend like nothing's wrong.
*
When Blaine and his father get back there is no acknowledgement of what has passed, and Kurt knows that he will have to wait until tonight, in the dark, with Blaine's skin bare against his own to hear any of what has happened.
“Just let me have some coffee and get my hands back to room temperature, and then we'll have singing, okay?” Blaine says.
Carole relinquishes Kurt's hand.
“I could play the first one,” Puck offers.
“If you play 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer' I'm kicking you out,” Kurt says.
Tina and Artie immediately start singing it without accompaniment. Finn joins in late, and Rachel looks personally insulted. Santana smiles.
*
Later, they pile into several cars to go to the bar in time for Kurt's shift.
Mr. Anderson expresses surprise that it's not empty.
Kurt considers, for a moment, giving him a lecture on gay Christmas or saying something flirty and wicked, but instead he just sighs.
“Come on, you can't tell me you don't feel like you need a drink after today.”
Mr. Anderson smiles knowingly and give a little nod of acquiescence.
“Then I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt now,” Kurt says, “and say thank you. Go buy your son a beer. Because he loves you, and I have to go sing.”
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine
Word Count: ~3,400
Summary: Christmas Day: Puck makes friends wherever he goes, Wes has an announcement, Blaine and his father finally talk.
Author's notes: The next piece of this series will likely be posted within a week because it is deeply interwoven with this part and the previous.
The series so far:
Boston: Following Home | These Thousand Names for Gratitude | All the Honesty of Politics | Circles as the Dark Winds Down | The Distance Between Ohio and Boston | All the Pretty Little Horses | Languages You Don't Even Know | Fauna and Flora | Where Water Doesn't Speak | Under Glass We Are Expected to Blossom | You Were Someone Else Before We Came Here
D.C.: Strategies and Tactics | The Many Shades of Sugar | When Sea Levels Rise | The History of Sand | Tales of Minor Gods | A Little Bit Ruined | The Numbers Held by Ghosts
“Go back to sleep,” Kurt says, rolling out of bed ten minutes before his alarm. It's still dark, and Blaine mumbles something incoherent at him.
He pulls on Blaine's bathrobe instead of his own. It's heavier, terrycloth in stead of silk, and more modest for just that reason. There are an awful lot of people sleeping on their floor – well, Rachel's on the couch, but Santana's propped up in a sleeping bag against the wall by the door to the deck, and Tina's sprawled out on the air mattress in the middle of the room. Puck, Finn, and Artie, and both sets of parents are at various hotels, and for that, Kurt's grateful; women have always obligated him to less math.
There's nothing he actually has to do at this hour, not yet. He set the turkey brining last night, and he can't really start the clatter of side dish preparation while his guests are asleep. Still, he feels the need to survey the kitchen.
*
“What are you doing?” Santana asks, plucking at the sleeve of the bathrobe with distaste.
She's snuck up on him, and Kurt doesn't know why he's surprised.
He sighs. “Not sleeping.”
She looks down at the ice-filled cooler the turkey is in. “Did you think it was going to run away?”
He considers a quip about its reaction to her presence and then shrugs instead.
“You want me to clear everyone out of here so you two can have a morning?”
“I can't ask you to wake my guests up before seven,” he says.
She arches an eyebrow. “Seriously, Hummel? Have you forgotten how much of an asshole I am?”
*
Blaine wakes blearily to the click of their bedroom door, Kurt pulling out of the borrowed bathrobe and then yanking his pajama top over his head. There's noise from their living room, a lot of it, but he can't quite make it out.
“What are you doing?” he manages to ask.
“Santana's taking everyone to breakfast,” Kurt says.
When he climbs back into bed naked, Blaine curls up against him and falls back asleep.
Later, Kurt will wake him with a kiss, a hand job, something, to remind him that he is real.
*
It's ten before Santana brings the girls back, and Kurt has no idea how she's filled the time, but the turkey's in the oven and Blaine's in the shower. The boys have called to say they'll be over around noon; the parents are expected at one; and Wes should be walking in twenty minutes before the food goes on the table.
*
The boys show up late and hung over, Artie muttering something about a strip club. Santana high-fives him and then gets angry she wasn't invited.
Kurt is appalled. Also, slightly boggled that they'd found anything open considering the hour they'd left.
“Whatever you did last night,” he says, “you are not to mention it in front of Blaine's parents.”
“Hey, can we not mention it in front of my mom too?” Finn asks, hopeful and a little nervous.
Kurt smirks. “You should have thought about that before you did it,” he says.
“I was sort of trying not to,” Finn says.
Rachel begins lecturing no one in particular about the validity of sex work as a career choice.
Puck says something lewd, and Tina gives a talk to the hand gesture to the entire room before stalking out onto the deck.
“They're just trying to wind you up,” Blaine murmurs in Kurt's ear as he fidgets with the ruffle on the pink gingham apron his boyfriend's had since high school.
He purses his lips. “No. They're not,” he says. And he's not annoyed that his friends went to a strip club, not really. It's that they're ungrateful and rude and completely oblivious to how hard this all is.
*
Blaine's parents arrive before Burt and Carole. Kurt waves from the kitchen and lets Blaine deal with them, because he is flat out of cope and at least candied sweet potatoes are unlikely to say anything inappropriate or do anything rude.
It startles him, when Mr. Anderson wanders into the kitchen, places a hand on his shoulder and asks how he's holding up.
Kurt takes a long blink and a deep breath, because suddenly he just wants to yell at Mr. Anderson for being uptight and gullible and taken in by a damn gingham apron, but Kurt gives him a weak smile instead.
“I think the way it's supposed to,” he says.
“I usually do our turkey. If you need any help, let me know,” he says, and then he's gone, and Kurt has to blink up at the ceiling so as not to stamp his feet in frustration.
*
The arrival of his own parents doesn't actually make anything better, because they don't just want to offer help, they really want to help, and there is not enough room, and no, Carole may not take the mixer out to the living room to whip the potatoes.
Kitchen things happen in the kitchen. In secret. Just like bedroom things happen in the bedroom. Also in secret.
*
Forty minutes before the food is even supposed to be ready Finn starts hovering around the tables they've shoved together to make room for thirteen.
“Do not,” Kurt says sharply, “rearrange the seating cards. You are seated where you are seated for optimum social flow. Respect the occasion, respect your hosts, AND DO NOT TOUCH THE CARDS, FINN!”
“Did you write these out by hand, dude?” he asks, putting his back down.
“Blaine did,” Kurt says shortly, and Blaine shrugs awkwardly.
*
“Kurt still has the best freakouts,” Tina says to Artie.
He nods. “Total quality.”
“Did you guys really go to a strip club last night?” she asks.
“Not exactly.”
“What do you mean, not exactly?” Tina asks incredulously.
“Puck met a hooker in the hotel bar,” Finn says cheerfully and far, far too loudly.
Tina giggles.
“I'm hoping this is new slang I don't understand, Finn,” Burt calls out from across the room.
In the kitchen, Kurt presses his forehead against the refrigerator and moans in dismay.
*
This was not the plan, Kurt thinks, when Blaine sneaks up behind him in the kitchen and curves an arm around his waist.
But Blaine's father is watching and Kurt's still being the girl (he thinks it always and only with vicious air quotes) so maybe it will all work anyway.
Both he and Blaine jump when the buzzer rings.
“That'll be Wes,” Kurt says, and he feels Blaine grin shyly against the back of his neck. “Wait, is this weird?” Kurt suddenly asks turning in the circle of his arms.
“You mean did I fantasize about what holidays with him would look like when he was the first boy I'd ever kissed and he had no idea what was going on with his brain or his dick or anything else?”
“Yeah,” Kurt says, amused, awkward, and glad Blaine is talking softly.
“Yeah,” Blaine says, “but it always looked like this.”
“I don't --”
“He was always going to be the memory of something that didn't happen, and I knew that long before he did.” Blaine kisses him, and then is gone, answering the door, Wes hugging him with one arm and letting Blaine press his face into his neck as he always does.
It doesn't seem weird to Kurt, but he suddenly realizes it's probably going to seem weird to everyone else.
*
The meal makes it to the table only ten minutes later than planned.
“Shouldn't someone say grace?” Mr. Anderson asks placidly when Kurt moves to cut the turkey without much fanfare.
Blaine reminds him Kurt's an atheist.
“I'm Jewish,” Rachel blurts out into the silence. “And I'm eating tofurky anyway.”
“Rachel Berry, you are terrifying and hilarious,” Kurt says calmly, still holding the carving knife and serving fork over the bird.
Mr. Anderson looks from Rachel to Burt for help.
Burt holds up his hands. “These boys cooked the meal, figure it's their call,” he says.
Everyone looks around the table nervously. Finn stammers something that doesn't quite turn into words and Artie looks more uncomfortable than Kurt's ever seen him.
“I'll do it,” Tina blurts.
Everyone turns to her.
“You're Jewish too,” Puck snaps.
“I know that,” she snaps right back, and then takes a deep breath. “Can I Kurt?” she asks.
He nods his head at her to get it over with.
“Today's an important day to a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. I think this Christmas is probably an unexpected one for all of us – some of us don't celebrate it and all of us are used to Ohio being home. But home is where the people you stay loyal to are, even if it's not easy,” she looks at Kurt, “or not what you planned,” she looks at Blaine's father. “So maybe we should take a moment to be grateful that a bunch of people who believe some stuff we may or may not created an excuse for all of us to be together today, in Kurt and Blaine's beautiful home, eating more food than is probably decent.”
There are a few amen's around the table, and Blaine has to nudge Kurt to start carving the turkey.
“Thank you, Tina,” Kurt says, not looking up from the bird to her.
“I would have gone for something more formal,” Rachel declares, cheerily, before adding, more softly, “but I didn't know what to say.”
*
“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” Wes says, grabbing Blaine's wrist in the kitchen between dinner and dessert as they try to do some minimal cleanup between courses.
“Of course,” Blaine says.
“Not here,” Wes clarifies.
Kurt tips his head towards the bedroom.
“You too, Kurt, if you can get away,” he says.
“In a minute.” It's not that Kurt can't put the dish he's washing down now, it's that, like when accepting someone's offer to pick up the check, he knows he needs to decline once.
He counts to one hundred and twenty before turning off the water, drying his hands, and heading for the bedroom himself. Hilariously, Blaine has left the door half open, and it reminds Kurt of his father's rules in that year before everything became like this.
*
“You don't have to do that,” Blaine's saying.
“Do what?” Kurt asks from the doorway.
“I'm proposing to Pris on New Year's,” Wes says.
Kurt gives a giddy clap. “Wait. Blaine, why are you trying to talk him out of that?”
“I'm not,” he says sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“Wes?”
“She knows this is coming, but we've agreed, we're not getting married or setting a date or anything until you two can.”
“You don't have to do that,” Kurt says, a little stunned.
“No,” Wes says calmly. “She doesn't. But I do. And you know why.”
“Nothing... none of that obligates you to --”
“I'm doing it for me, not for you, and she's fine with it. I just wanted you to know. Both of you.”
“We're not even engaged yet,” Kurt says, even as he fidgets with his ring nervously. “And you don't know what the court's going to do, and --”
While Kurt's being flustered and moved (and between dinner and desert, really?), Blaine reaches up to take Wes's hand.
“Thank you,” he says, squeezing.
There's a knock at the door, and Carole sticks her head inside. “You boys all right in here?”
They all turn to her, like they've been caught at something. Blaine seems unable to let go of Wes's hand, and Kurt just nods mutely before clearing his throat.
“We'll be right out,” he manages.
As she closes the door Kurt turns back in time to see Blaine kiss Wes's hand and then drop it, laughing delightedly. “The look on her face!”
Kurt chuckles and shakes his head. He loves his ridiculous boyfriend, so much. And one day, he really is going to marry him.
*
“So what was the secret conference about,” Burt asks, when Kurt's cutting Finn his second slice of chocolate peppermint cake.
“I'm proposing to my girlfriend on New Year's Eve,” Wes says smoothly. “I just wanted these guys to know first.”
“Good for you, kid.” Burt frowns in approval. “Seems funny, though.”
“How so?” Wes asks, and Kurt can tell Blaine wants to laugh at the obviously fake innocence in their friend's voice.
“When I asked Kurt's mother to marry me, there were the guys I told way in advance, when I was thinking about it, 'cause I wanted them to back me up, help me be sure, and the guys I told after I'd done it. Weren't any guys I told in the middle.”
“I've never been unsure about Priscilla. And I've never kept secrets from Blaine.”
“Wes wanted us to know that they're not going to set a date or get married until we can,” Kurt says. It feels terrifying.
“Why would you do that?” Mr. Anderson blurts out.
“Because it's the right thing to do,” Wes says calmly, but he's clearly startled by the abruptness of the question.
“It's complicated,” Kurt says quietly.
“I don't see how you can expect that of your friends,” Rachel says as if she somehow might get engaged tomorrow.
“I don't. We don't,” Blaine says.
“It is a fucking wonder her fathers didn't smother her in her sleep years ago, I swear,” Tina mutters under her breath.
Under the table, Puck kicks her.
“Hey,” Wes says, clear that everything is about to go downhill, “it's a choice we're making. We're not saying it's one anyone else should be making. And, for the record, it's not political.”
Blaine finds himself blushing down at his cake.
“You know, I don't even know you, kid,” Burt says to Wes. “But my wife tells me she sees something. And then you talk about your fiance, and I feel better about it. And then the conversation keeps going, and Blaine here looks like he wants to sink through the floor, and while it's none of my business, it sort of is now and would someone like to tell me what's going on here?”
Blaine glances at Wes. It's never been anyone's story to tell but his. Those are the rules. No outing. Ever. Even if Wes is straight and has never cared.
“I was assigned as Blaine's student mentor when he came to Dalton. And we spent a long time trying to be together, I don't even know why --”
Santana mutters something obscene under her breath as a suggested explanation.
“I can't kick you, but I can run you over with my chair later,” Artie informs her.
She gives him the finger.
“But I was straight and in love with him, and eventually we stopped being fifteen and incompetent and got on with our lives. But he's my best friend, and I know my life could be different than it is. And I'm not going to get married when he can't. I'm not ashamed of it, but none of you needed to know this, and I think I resent you asking,” Wes says, his assured manner never wavering.
“I'm sorry,” Burt says. “Thank you for telling us.” He sounds ashamed, and it breaks Kurt's heart.
“You always said it wasn't a choice,” Mr. Anderson says.
“Don't,” Blaine's mother says, putting a hand on his arm.
Finn takes a ridiculously huge bite of cake, and Kurt has the inappropriate urge to snap at him about stress eating, but he turns on Mr. Anderson instead.
“What does it even matter?” he asks.
“What?”
“First of all, you completely missed Wes's point, but whatever, I don't even have time for that. Choice, that's all we do every day. I chose these ingredients, you chose to be here, we chose this apartment, I choose your son over and over again even when he is ridiculous and annoying and overworked and distracting and depressed and tying himself in knots over you. I choose him. And you should be grateful for that. And for him. Because he never had a choice in you, and yet he wanted you to be here today.”
“Kurt?” Blaine says softly.
“Yes?”
“My father and I are going to go take a walk now, okay?” he says, standing. Kurt thinks he is trembling slightly.
“Okay.”
“And we'll do carols and presents when we get back.”
Kurt nods. “Sounds good,” he says, not trusting his voice not to be watery.
“Thank you,” he says, and gives him a chaste kiss.
*
They walk in silence for some time, not dressed quite warm enough.
“Kurt had all these plans for this,” Blaine says after a while. “Well, for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“He's always... he likes to be in control, manipulate things, make stuff do what he wants. I don't blame him. I mean, his mom died when he was a kid, right? And then he spent all of school being thrown into dumpsters and stuff. A lot of his life has really sucked.”
Mr. Anderson makes a considering noise.
“Even with.... even with some of the stuff that's happened to me --”
“The dance,” his father interjects, but Blaine just shrugs.
“My life hasn't been like Kurt's. It's been a lot easier. Especially when I was small. You gave me that. You and mom, and it means I can be a little bit gentler with the world. Kurt thinks....” Blaine stops for a moment, this is suddenly all so hard. “Kurt thinks you don't have a problem with me being gay.”
“I don't.”
“Well, for the record, I can't tell. But he thinks, and I guess I do too, that you somehow think I'm not enough of a man because of it. So I've spent the last two days dealing with him clattering around in that ridiculous apron thinking that if he plays 1950s housewife hard enough you'll eventually look at me and see what you want to see. And I've got to tell you, it makes me crazy. Because I love all the things Kurt is, some of which you would never understand, but I hate when he's playacting for you. So if you could just tell me what it is you want, so I can decide if I'm going to keep putting us through this, I would really appreciate that.”
“I just want to know who you are,” his father says.
“Then why did you send me away?” Blaine asks, amazed that his voice doesn't sound more anguished. He is also unsure of whether he means Dalton or Boston.
“I wasn't ready to listen,” he says.
“And you are now?” Blaine asks sharply.
“No, I don't think so,” he admits. “But I think I'm getting there.”
Blaine nods. It's something, but it may not mean anything at all.
“So, Wes, huh?” his dad asks after another long silence.
Blaine nods and laughs. “God, it was such a mess,” he says running a hand through his hair.
*
Carole holds Kurt's hand as they wait for Blaine and his father to return, while Rachel talks Mrs. Anderson's ear off nervously about nothing in particular and, for no discernible reason, tells her about the time she kissed Blaine.
Wes sits with Burt, and everyone else tries to pretend like nothing's wrong.
*
When Blaine and his father get back there is no acknowledgement of what has passed, and Kurt knows that he will have to wait until tonight, in the dark, with Blaine's skin bare against his own to hear any of what has happened.
“Just let me have some coffee and get my hands back to room temperature, and then we'll have singing, okay?” Blaine says.
Carole relinquishes Kurt's hand.
“I could play the first one,” Puck offers.
“If you play 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer' I'm kicking you out,” Kurt says.
Tina and Artie immediately start singing it without accompaniment. Finn joins in late, and Rachel looks personally insulted. Santana smiles.
*
Later, they pile into several cars to go to the bar in time for Kurt's shift.
Mr. Anderson expresses surprise that it's not empty.
Kurt considers, for a moment, giving him a lecture on gay Christmas or saying something flirty and wicked, but instead he just sighs.
“Come on, you can't tell me you don't feel like you need a drink after today.”
Mr. Anderson smiles knowingly and give a little nod of acquiescence.
“Then I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt now,” Kurt says, “and say thank you. Go buy your son a beer. Because he loves you, and I have to go sing.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2011-11-01 06:21 pm (UTC)This is such a beautiful chapter and so interwoven with layers of development and growth for everyone. Christmas can be such a crazy time and when everything can come out, change, or both.
Kurt is trying SO hard, and it almost breaks my heart how much. But I love them, and this.
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Date: 2011-11-01 07:05 pm (UTC)THIS.
I might reserve my comment and any break breaking attempts at coherency for the next part :)
as always, just a ridiculously big fan of your work.
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Date: 2011-11-01 06:24 pm (UTC)is it strange that i start to like blaine's father more and more?
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:42 pm (UTC)Blaine's father is just as scared as Blaine is. As a parent, he's really obligated to do better, but he hasn't. And Blaine's only just starting to learn that about his dad.
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Date: 2011-11-01 06:32 pm (UTC)On a day where I feel so very much like Kurt, this made me smile.
Thank you for giving this to us.
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-01 07:09 pm (UTC)♥
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-01 07:13 pm (UTC)“It is a fucking wonder her fathers didn't smother her in her sleep years ago, I swear,”
:)
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Date: 2011-11-01 08:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-11-01 07:34 pm (UTC)And now I'm EVEN MORE interested in the Blaine+Wes backstory and cannot wait for the next insallment.
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:45 pm (UTC)THe Wes/Blaine thing doesn't fit in the narrative except as how it becomes relevant at various points, but I am going to write a one-shot for it eventually.
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Date: 2011-11-01 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-01 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-01 08:03 pm (UTC)And Burt saying the wrong thing in absolutely perfect character.
And Wes. I don't even know what to say about that except thank you. I told you before how much I relate to his story, and that hasn't changed.
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:46 pm (UTC)I'm always so glad when the Wes/Blaine backstory speaks to anyone.
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Date: 2011-11-01 08:16 pm (UTC)Food. ;)
“I'll do it,” Tina blurts.
I heart Tina's version of grace. It's more like saying thanks in general, but if you practice a religion it could still be applicable. Although, probably not the extent that some would like, because Tina doesn't specifically address it to anyone in particular.
And speaking of Tina, I love how everyone (okay, some) has gotten sharper/gutsier in their dialogue with age. Because some of the characters had zingers I don't think they'd say on the show now. For example, Santana has gotten way more caustic with her language. LOL. ;)
Blaine glances at Wes. It's never been anyone's story to tell but his. Those are the rules.
I have to admit, I don't really remember what was the history of Blaine/Wes' relationship. I know it's more than just friends and they have some vibes, which Kurt isn't too weirded out by. (Probably because he knew him in high school and knew him before he knew about everything else involving him?) But whoa, that dinner conversation became crazy personal/nosy.
Basically, was Wes just hella confused as a kid? And Blaine was in that tough part of his life when they met. Being open to each other, they decided to experiment and figure stuff out together? I would kinda love to read a fic about that period in their relationship.
But he thinks, and I guess I do too, that you somehow think I'm not enough of a man because of it. So I've spent the last two days dealing with him clattering around in that ridiculous apron thinking that if he plays 1950s housewife hard enough you'll eventually look at me and see what you want to see.
I'm really curious if a lot of couples role-play like this to appease their family/friends with rigid understanding of gender roles? Does anyone have insight here? That can be really exhausting ruse to keep up.
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Date: 2011-11-01 09:06 pm (UTC)Kurt's mini-speech to Blaine's dad about choice was really thought-provoking. (Also, chocolate peppermint cake? YUM.)
Caught a few bits:
(and between dinner and desert, really?) <- Should be "dessert"
women have always obligated him to less math <- Think it should be "to do less math"
“Wes wanted us to know that they're not going to set a date or get married until we can.” Kurt says <- Should be a comma instead of a period inside the quotation marks. :) Carry on!
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Date: 2011-11-01 09:06 pm (UTC)I love the friendly banter between the friends, and Burt and Carole's earnestness, and poor Wes being put on the spot like that.
And just when I want to drop-kick Mr. Anderson, he softens a fraction and opens himself to Blaine.
Please tell me that the next scene will be at the bar? Because that would be awesomesauce.
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:51 pm (UTC)The next story is actually set many, many months for now, although there will be discussion of what happens in the time between then and now.
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Date: 2011-11-01 09:14 pm (UTC)(I should just admit upfront that I am a complete Kurt stan - I have trouble getting a handle on Blaine's identity - so I'm afraid I'll always be biased in Kurt's direction, even when reading balanced views of the Kurt/Blaine relationship as presented here. If my opinions are skewed, I'm sorry about that!)
In this installment and the last, I've been really drawn in by how Kurt is just trying so hard to present himself in a certain way to appease gender expectations. Given my orientation (aromantic asexual, cisgendered to the point of stereotype), I don't have that problem, but I have observed it in my sister and her girlfriend; they (consciously, I believe) turn up the gender roles in obvious ways when the parents of one or the other of them are around. And it's really difficult to deal in a non-counterproductive way with the 'traditional relationship' gender expectations, especially when they are, for the most part, completely unrecognized by the people who have them. So - I just wanted to thank you for this.
I'm really looking forward to seeing what will happen next in their lives - I so want Kurt to be successful, and Blaine to be accepted, and for them to be happy forever and ever. ;-)
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:56 pm (UTC)And amazing things are coming for Kurt. I promise.
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Date: 2011-11-01 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-01 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-01 09:27 pm (UTC)Rachel begins lecturing no one in particular about the validity of sex work as a career choice.
I snorted so loudly when I read this line. You are so damn awesome at conveying such volumes in one line.
Bless Tina and her cow......awesome grace for the adorable atheistic host....
FINALLY - Kurt calls out Blaine's dad! I know he has shown spine before, but YES!!!! Now Blaine can finally talk to his dad......
So if you could just tell me what it is you want, so I can decide if I'm going to keep putting us through this, I would really appreciate that.”
This broke my heart, but I am so glad he was able to get it out. I want so much for Blaine, and as ecstatic as I am to see Kurt help him see this, I want him to WANT to assert himself and be who he is meant to be.
Just fantastic -all of this. Can't wait for the next part!
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-01 09:27 pm (UTC)Wes... *sigh* but really, Santana is just perfect. Being all evil, but not even kind of, really.
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:58 pm (UTC)Poor Wes really took one for the team here. If anyone ever mentions it to him again that isn't Kurt or Blaine, he will not be kind.
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Date: 2011-11-01 09:37 pm (UTC)Great installment, curious about the next (final?) Christmas chapter.
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:59 pm (UTC)The next piece of this is actually set many months from this one, but it is thematically entwined. You'll see why super soon.
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Date: 2011-11-01 09:51 pm (UTC)Oh, Blaine. I love you. And I love you, rm, for writing him this way. I really appreciate that it's hard for them both in different ways, because it is. Family is hard. Growing up is hard. And love makes it easier but it doesn't make it all go away.
This whole 'verse is so meaningful. Thank you.
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Date: 2011-11-01 11:00 pm (UTC)That's a huge moment when Blaine finally steps up there. It's to his father, but it's also him stepping up to finally be conscious equal in the hard work factor of his thing with Kurt.
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:10 pm (UTC)This line really explains a lot about Wes and Blaine's "failed" relationship. Loved this whole chapter. This story just continues to amaze me over and over. Also, I was offended on wes's behalf over everybody getting into his business. It's an amazing gesture he's making and it's nobody else's concern.
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Date: 2011-11-01 11:06 pm (UTC)And yeah, Wes makes two huge gestures here - first about his own wedding, the second is very calmly answers questions he shouldn't have to, not because Burt's being ridiculous, but because it's a convenient way to give Blaine's dad something to think about (Wes loathes Mr. Anderson). And while that almost backfires until Kurt steps in, that's why he does it.
Wes cherishes the complexity of his history with Blaine. And god help anyone who ever mentions it again who is not Blaine or Kurt. Wes will not be kind about it.
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Date: 2011-11-01 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-01 11:07 pm (UTC)Now go enjoy some sleep!
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Date: 2011-11-01 11:53 pm (UTC)Tina's grace ftw, and Wes, oh Wes. Stuff you do when you're 15 doesn't neccessarily hold sway over anyone unless you make it, but kudos to him for answering the questions he didn't have to for the sake of parents. And Kurt fussing over the potatoes not being something you do in the open. :D
Ah family holidays. Deck the halls and gird your loins...
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Date: 2011-11-02 02:31 pm (UTC)And yeah, Wes really took one for the team (and sort of only did it not because of Burt's drama, but because he has always hated Blaine's father, and like Kurt, he's a little Machiavellian and thinks this will help. That said, he loved having this private bit of history, and it annoys him that it seems more trivial/cheaper now that he's had to say it aloud.
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Date: 2011-11-02 12:11 am (UTC)this whole 'verse is just lovely, and i really appreciate how nuanced and well thought through you are writing this.
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Date: 2011-11-02 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-02 12:19 am (UTC)It's a weird line to fixate on, but I really love this line. And I wish in a lot of ways that our kitchen and dining room were more seperate because of this.
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Date: 2011-11-02 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-02 01:00 am (UTC)Thank you for sharing!
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Date: 2011-11-02 02:33 pm (UTC)Wes really is the hero of the day here.
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Date: 2011-11-02 01:17 am (UTC)And, Kurt. Let that be a lesson to you. People have stuff up their sleeves that you won't anticiapte and can't plan for. ~pets him~ He was trying so hard, though. The apron, and the role, and hating himself as he did it and how it was tainting all the stuff he loves doing - the cooking and hosting and having friends around - but doing it anyway because of Blaine. It kind of made my heart ache. And Mr Anderson suddenly treating him like a helpless stereotypical girl who can't even manage cooking without male help made me want to scream, even though at the same time he was actually the only one in the whole group - other than Santana, kind of - who actually acknowledged that there was a whole lot of work going on behind the scenes there.
So much love for Tina, from the talk to the hand to the Rachel comment to the not-a-grace, seeing that things were tense and trying to even them out without making Kurt compromise something that matters to him. And the whole New Directions dynamic was awesomely on-target. I like the way that Santana and Kurt seem to have found a place where they can exist side-by-side, not without friction but without mistrust, too.
Carole intruding on the bedroom conference was both hilarious and terrifying, but this:
He loves his ridiculous boyfriend, so much. And one day, he really is going to marry him.
After the last instalment? That made my heart lift, and gave me hopeful feelings regarding the court case.
The whole physical dynamic of Blaine and Wes' relationship, and the way Kurt suddenly realised how people who weren't him and weren't aware of the past might see that - I love the way you took that familiar thing and made it strange and problematic in this new context. Because it always comes back to doing the maths especially around straight boys - ands straight fathers - but Wes doesn't have to think about that because he is straight, so, problems.
Choice, that's all we do every day. I chose these ingredients, you chose to be here, we chose this apartment, I choose your son over and over again even when he is ridiculous and annoying and overworked and distracting and depressed and tying himself in knots over you. I choose him. And you should be grateful for that. And for him. Because he never had a choice in you, and yet he wanted you to be here today.”
Wow. Kurt. I love you. And I think Mr Anderson needed to hear that, and especially from the man he was starting to tuck away into the little box marked 'inferior' in his head.
Blaine understanding why Kurt does the manipulation thing was wonderful - and when set against the utter chaos that is any more than three former New Directions members in the same room made total sense - but his defence of his own gentleness, his attribution of that to the parent who doesn't understand it and doesn't like it, was both wonderful and a little heartbreaking.
And echoing back to Kurt's question about when they can stop trying with Blaine's parents. Kurt asks because he sees how it horts Blaine. Blaie asks, here, because he sees how it hurts Kurt. ~hugs them both~
“Then I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt now,” Kurt says, “and say thank you. Go buy your son a beer. Because he loves you, and I have to go sing.”
Benefit of the doubt. Yup. That's all you get for now.
Of course it would be Blaine's instinct to talk that averts the firestorm (for now, at least). But like Kurt said, they choose, and that's what keeps them stable through this. Because it's the opposite of that stupid 'choose to be gay' meme where choice is supposed to mean something flimsy and arbitrary and not-real. Here it's the most solid, most real thing of all.
Aw, look, you've made me weepy and rambly. Stupid me.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-02 01:54 am (UTC)And this:
“Thank you,” he says, and gives him a chaste kiss.
It wasn't just a thank you for the waiting. ~loves Blaine hard~
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Date: 2011-11-02 01:34 am (UTC)Also, Wes' explantion and resentment at being forced to tell it is perfect, and so well done.
The whole thing is just a beautiful disaster, and perfect Kurt Hummel! And as always your writing is stellar.
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Date: 2011-11-02 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-02 01:55 am (UTC)But weirdly enough, what stood out the most for me was Kurt fidgeting with his ring in the room with Wes and Blaine and talking about how they're not even engaged. I really enjoy watching how this ring has wend its way through the story as a whole, and its existence and significance is sometimes muted but so important. I don't know that I can really explain how it works as symbolism for me, but here it reflects, a least a little, this idea of Kurt being the "wife" - in addition to other stuff hovering on the edge of my befuddled brain. Also, the shift in Kurt from the last chapter where "Kurt knows they may never get married" to this chapter where he knows that one day he'll marry his "ridiculous boyfriend" was really powerful for me. The issues and complications and representations of relationships is so layered and complex. And one day I will be able to articulate some of those layers, but clearly not today.
Thanks for another amazing chapter :)
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Date: 2011-11-02 02:42 pm (UTC)I think you are really right about the ring thing,a nd it's funny, because Blaine has that bracelet that Kurt gave him, but you know, no one registers that, so it's like to other people Kurt is publicly owned and Blaine is secretly owned but it's really not like that at all.