(no subject)
May. 21st, 2003 03:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmVolunteered at the yoga center again today. Will actually have the time to start classes tomorrow. I like it there, and the people there.
I learned something about myself recently -- or rather, just had a well known fact resolidified in my mind yet again. It's not a bad thing, although it frustrates me to pieces. Which is that I tend to respond very strongly to certain types of energy (for lack of a less silly word) in certain types of people -- both when actually in my life and when just out there for consumption (that is to say, that which entertains me and/or is of artistic interest).
I've been hit with two versions of that in as many days -- the first was merely amusing, the second, while more interesting, is also less amusing to me. The problem, fundamentally, when I get into the path of that sort of energy is that it's very easy for me to get off my own focus. Very easy for me to be distracted, and to bend in ways that serve the moment and at best, nothing else. At worst, my flexibility, for lack of a less kind word, is notorious for cooking up big messes in my life and other's.
Wow, this is mindblowingly nonspecific. Let us just say that a certain sort of crazy creative genius, coupled with a somewhat wandering interest in spirituality, an inclination to hard work and a decent amount of charisma, will forever and always inspire me to many things -- unfortunately, chief among them is acting like a poorly-socialized fifteen-year-old girl. And while amusing, and it is, really, I do laugh at myself -- it's a weakness and a meekness that is profoundly counter to the fact that "no fear" is like a basic requirement of doing pretty much anything I want to be doing.
So yeah.
In other news, I am baking minimuffins! Yes, right now!
Also, just saw the SNL where Sinead sings a capella and rips up the picture of the pope. They edited out the pope part, but the song was still there. I remember seeing this one live when it happened, with my parents, and I remember it being this weird shocking moment -- musically, not just the pope thing.
Watching it today it was just as eerie, most especially with the fact now that I could see she was terrified, and with everything going on in the world and she's singing about war.
Strange thing. Her voice can almost always move me to tears. And while the stuff she's on about can really annoy me, and I wish she weren't so crazy that her work is less powerful to most people -- her first album -- my god -- we had never heard anything like it and really haven't since. Such a weird powerful thing, from another place. And I love her other stuff, but when she got production values, the terror went missing.
I learned something about myself recently -- or rather, just had a well known fact resolidified in my mind yet again. It's not a bad thing, although it frustrates me to pieces. Which is that I tend to respond very strongly to certain types of energy (for lack of a less silly word) in certain types of people -- both when actually in my life and when just out there for consumption (that is to say, that which entertains me and/or is of artistic interest).
I've been hit with two versions of that in as many days -- the first was merely amusing, the second, while more interesting, is also less amusing to me. The problem, fundamentally, when I get into the path of that sort of energy is that it's very easy for me to get off my own focus. Very easy for me to be distracted, and to bend in ways that serve the moment and at best, nothing else. At worst, my flexibility, for lack of a less kind word, is notorious for cooking up big messes in my life and other's.
Wow, this is mindblowingly nonspecific. Let us just say that a certain sort of crazy creative genius, coupled with a somewhat wandering interest in spirituality, an inclination to hard work and a decent amount of charisma, will forever and always inspire me to many things -- unfortunately, chief among them is acting like a poorly-socialized fifteen-year-old girl. And while amusing, and it is, really, I do laugh at myself -- it's a weakness and a meekness that is profoundly counter to the fact that "no fear" is like a basic requirement of doing pretty much anything I want to be doing.
So yeah.
In other news, I am baking minimuffins! Yes, right now!
Also, just saw the SNL where Sinead sings a capella and rips up the picture of the pope. They edited out the pope part, but the song was still there. I remember seeing this one live when it happened, with my parents, and I remember it being this weird shocking moment -- musically, not just the pope thing.
Watching it today it was just as eerie, most especially with the fact now that I could see she was terrified, and with everything going on in the world and she's singing about war.
Strange thing. Her voice can almost always move me to tears. And while the stuff she's on about can really annoy me, and I wish she weren't so crazy that her work is less powerful to most people -- her first album -- my god -- we had never heard anything like it and really haven't since. Such a weird powerful thing, from another place. And I love her other stuff, but when she got production values, the terror went missing.
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-22 07:19 am (UTC)*nod*
"Fire on Babylon" moves me in strange, powerful ways - by the end, my throat aches, I'm nearly in tears, and I feel like I'm shaking on the inside.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-22 09:55 am (UTC)I must admit, I have great difficulty imagining someone as innately elegant as you acting like that - I end up acting in similar ways in certain situations and understand precisely the mixture of amusement and annoyance that such behavior produces in me.
Sinead is not always to my taste, but she is definitely always amazing.
Speaking of music, what was the title and artist of the song about LA you mentioned to me.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-22 10:26 am (UTC)You have to hear it, BUT:
Exits to freeways
twisted like knots on
fingers.
Jewels cleaving
skin between
breasts.
Your Cadillac breathes
four hundred horses
over blue lines.
You are going
to Reseda
to make love
to a model
from Ohio
whose real name
you don't
know.
You spin
like the cadillac was
overturning down a cliff
on television.
And the radio is on
and the radioman is speaking
and the radioman says
women were a curse.
So men built Paramount
studios.
And men built Columbia
studios.
And men built
Los Angeles.
It is 5 am
and you are listening
to Los Angeles.
And the radioman says
it is a beautiful night out there!
And the radioman says
Rock and Roll lives!
And the radioman says
it is a beautiful night out there
in Los Angeles.
You live
in Los Angeles
and you are going to
Reseda; we are all
in some way or
another going to
Reseda someday
to die.
And the radioman
laughs because
the radioman fucks
a model too.
Gone savage
for teenagers with
automatic weapons and
boundless love.
Gone savage for
teenagers who are
aesthetically pleasing,
in other words,
fly.
Los Angeles beckons
the teenagers
to come to her
on buses;
Los Angeles loves
love.
It is 5 am
and you are listening
to Los Angeles.
I am going to
Los Angeles
to build a screenplay about
lovers who murder each other.
I am going to
Los Angeles
to see my own name on a
screen, five feet
long and luminous.
As the radioman says
it is 5AM
and the sun has charred
the other side of
the world and come
back to us
and painted the smoke
over our heads
an imperial violet.
It is 5 am
and you are listening
to Los Angeles.
You are listening...
You are listening...
You are listening...
You are listening...
...to Los Angeles.