duh

Nov. 21st, 2004 11:28 pm
[personal profile] rm
Sometimes I'm stupid.

In the course of watching lots of Alexander stuff on Discovery Channel (which was significantly better than the Alexander stuff on History Channel, but not because Discovery Channel has their shit together so much as because History Channel really, really didn't), I realized something that no doubt when I comment upon it to Kat, will cause her to go, "I knew that. I thought you knew that," which is what generally happens when I have an insight about myself. At least my friends give me credit for being smart, as dubious an idea as that sometimes is.

For those of you that aren't only children, it's a common occupation among us (almost all only's I know find that their close friends are mostly only's as well, although that trait has become less pronounced for me as I've gotten older), to sit around and discuss whether we've ever longed for siblings. The answers range, widely, and elucidation on this subject by my ex- was always particularly vivid in a sincerely uncomfortable way (don't ask, merely bears noting for those here who know what I'm referring to).

For my part, I never wanted siblings. It didn't really interest me. It seemed a little troublesome and a little boring. Growing up I didn't tend to envy people who were actually existant and around me, so it was moot. It wasn't like I didn't want them either, I just didn't really generally care.

So here I am, all grown up, and what am I obsessed with through a series of relatively disparate things? Not, as most women who are thirty-two are, the mythical "work-life balance" that involves getting married, raising a family and being a corporate vice president. Oh no. I'm obsessed with some sort of mythical work-life inbalance where it's all the same shit. Hello. Stupid Rach. Alexander and the Companions. Did I really never notice that before?

Apparently.

That said, I'm always relieved the farther back in my personal history I can trace my not necessarily tons of fun to be around quirks.

Date: 2004-11-22 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heron61.livejournal.com
almost all only's I know find that their close friends are mostly only's as well, although that trait has become less pronounced for me as I've gotten older

I'm an only child of two only children, but very few of my friend also only's, and that's never been particularly different. However, the vast majority of people I'm close to are youngest children, which may mean something similar.

Wrt siblings, I've never once wanted any and am rather baffled by the entire concept.

Oh no. I'm obsessed with some sort of mythical work-life inbalance where it's all the same shit.

Oh yes, I know that one very well and feel exactly the same way.

Date: 2004-11-22 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kalyx.livejournal.com
I'm also an only child who never had the slightest interest in siblings. In fact, I never had the slightest interest in other children. I found them dull and on top of that, they didn't play my games right. Apparently, I was a judgemental ass of a child, but this shouldn't really come as any surprise.

But some of what you wrote makes me wonder if all only children are very different from the rest of the population with our interests and obsessions. I found that I am also not compelled by this idea of what I apparently should be at 31 years of age. No children and no intention of children or even interest in kids. I'm only married because my best friend/lover of a zillion years found that we could only share medical benefits if officially hitched (and also an only child). I just don't buy into any of the big cultural myths of what it means to be successful or what it means to be a woman or wife.

I wonder if all only children feel like social misfits or just don't feel the same social pressures. I don't know, but there does seem to be differences shared by my only friends.

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