even writing this is an effort
Jul. 3rd, 2005 12:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmI've been slacking the last few days. Well, not exactly. I've been slacking in the realm of documentation. I know I have 8 billion auditions coming up, and they're all in my email and note pad, but I've not transfered them to my calendar (off the top of my head, 1 tomrrow, 1 tuesday, 3 wednesday, and a bunch like two weeks from now for various film stuff). I've a list of headshots to send out that I've been procrastinating on because of the holiday and the last of mail service. I owe Marilynn an email. Etc etc etc etc.
Meanwhile projects I'm working on continue to keep me in limbo in a way that makes me irrationally insecure, although I did talk to the producer on the movie and my scene hasn't been scheduled yet and that's fine, and the director of Miss Milligan's is doing a staged reading of Picasso's Caught by the Tail on the 17th for the Off Off Bowery Festival and it looks like I'm going to be a part of that, but I don't know which part or a schedule yet (one imagines, as this is a holiday weekend, that the entire world is in suspended animation until Tuesday).
Additionally I am discovering I am badly out of practice at this relationship thing and am giving myself anxiety in that regard as well. Of course, this insecurity too will pass, and I'll be more functional for it.
All of this leads to: I'm having one of those things where I am Depressed. But it's not about anyting, and I'm only unmotivated in a practical sense (can I hide under the covers until it's all okay?), not the broad sense (world domination, perfomring, movies and Australian junk food continue to excite me). It's temporary, mostly hormonal (and what isn't is pure self-inflicted idiocy) and will pass. But god, it's annoying/boring.
Also, there was some drama with Little Kitty last night where she became terrified of the couch. Which I think sums up the state of the universe far better than my moodiness ever could.
But, I bought cute new underwear at Old Navy (it's so weird, they have this adorable lacey retro underwear that fits me perfectly, but they don't carry bras, so it's like, futile shopping trip central) and groceries at Whole Foods and I got a CnS for one of my BPAL orders.
Meanwhile projects I'm working on continue to keep me in limbo in a way that makes me irrationally insecure, although I did talk to the producer on the movie and my scene hasn't been scheduled yet and that's fine, and the director of Miss Milligan's is doing a staged reading of Picasso's Caught by the Tail on the 17th for the Off Off Bowery Festival and it looks like I'm going to be a part of that, but I don't know which part or a schedule yet (one imagines, as this is a holiday weekend, that the entire world is in suspended animation until Tuesday).
Additionally I am discovering I am badly out of practice at this relationship thing and am giving myself anxiety in that regard as well. Of course, this insecurity too will pass, and I'll be more functional for it.
All of this leads to: I'm having one of those things where I am Depressed. But it's not about anyting, and I'm only unmotivated in a practical sense (can I hide under the covers until it's all okay?), not the broad sense (world domination, perfomring, movies and Australian junk food continue to excite me). It's temporary, mostly hormonal (and what isn't is pure self-inflicted idiocy) and will pass. But god, it's annoying/boring.
Also, there was some drama with Little Kitty last night where she became terrified of the couch. Which I think sums up the state of the universe far better than my moodiness ever could.
But, I bought cute new underwear at Old Navy (it's so weird, they have this adorable lacey retro underwear that fits me perfectly, but they don't carry bras, so it's like, futile shopping trip central) and groceries at Whole Foods and I got a CnS for one of my BPAL orders.
