HBP stuff - not in order, very spoilery

[rm]

I thoguht I was going to come out of this thinking where he stood was ambiguous, but no, I'm almost sure he's not evil.

Why?

1. He never throws a curse at Harry after he kills Dumbledore, he's jsut trying to get the kid to back off and get out of the fray.

2. Wow, Fawkes does nothing in 95% of this book, but he sure gets mentioned constantly, as does Dumbledore's burnt hand. I think this is telling us the man can come back from fire.

3. As I've mentioned before, agreeing to protect Draco at any cost? This is the only act Snape can commit that is loyal both to Dumebledore and his old friends.

4. The argument with Dumbledore in the woods? I think Snape's intent was that if he wound up in a position where upholding the unbreakable voew meant something awful, he was willing to die for not fufilling it. And I think that he was furious that Dumebledore (and circumstances) were putting him in a position where his hands can't ever be clean. I mean, it's one thing to be a spy for Dumbledore, but to have this man send him back to the Death Eaters and be forced to take refuge with them for the sake of the cause?

5. Dumbledore knew Malfoy was trying to kill him. Dumbledore, for whatever reason chose not to come up with any good reason to find a way for that situation to resolve without Severus killing him.

6. Severus stupifies Flitwick to get the girls in the hall to run in after him. Hermione in particular needs to be kept safe, as a mudblood and a notorious and annoying one, she's going to be a prime target in this mess.

7. As others have noted, Snape and Dumbledore are both accomplished at Occulemency -- what do you think was passing between them in that moment, huh?

8. We know at teh end of Book 5 Snape has been sent back to the Death Eaters. This is it kids. Not Voldemort kicking him around a room. Not with Lucius in Azkaban and Snape being smart.




Dude, this guy has the _worst_ life.

1. First the whole Half-Blood Prince thing charmed me. It charmed me that it was a play on his mother's name. It charmed me that it was no big magical thing but just the scribblings of a random boy in a random text book. Sure the boy was brilliant, and sure the stupid name was a desperate act of self-invention taken from what had become his probably quasi-secret rolemodel (Lord Voldemort), but it was the still the act of a grasping child and reminded me so deeply of when we named our clique in high school and all yried to give ourselves fabulous names. It reminds me how so much of what I seem to know about this acting business comes from being into David Bowie and Oscar Wilde as a child -- one must invent the self, and make it the prodct. Clearly, it's not something I've entirely outgrown or I wouldn't admire the people I do today, but oh god... I _felt_ that.

2. Making that vow for Draco (without hesitation), killing Dumbeldore and finally taking the DAtDA job knowing that it's cursed and knowing why? Regardless of what side he's on, these are the actions of a man who does not expect to be alive in a year's time. And he does them anyway. And while he rages he never balks.

3. Dumbledore still knows something about Snape we don't, and him begging for people to find Severus as the whole fucking mess is going down, breaks my heart.

4. That horrible, horrible confrontation with Harry after Dumbledore's death. Snape can't keep his fucking head around Harry and almost doesn't. He's allergic. He can't be rational and his rage at Harry calling him a coward is so agonizing, so desperate especially as there's that moment when it becomes more important than anything else that's just happened, especially if one considers that what he's just had to do (as per my theory about why he's not evil). As an adult Snape has _never_ been a coward. And it's such a wound in light of the events of that night and Harry's resemblence to his father. And it shouldn't matter, but he'll never get over it. And this is a man trying to get by on what is enough, and it's like people are leaving him nothing. He knows he may die without anyone ever knowing the truth of him, whose side he was on and he will not have this _child_ who dredges up such old wounds for him plant doubt in the one place it does not exist -- his own heart.

5. After Harry uses that eviscerating curse on Draco -- the look on Snape's face -- that was devestation. That was someone who just wanted to throw up an then had to swing into action once again because there were so many people involved.

6. As others have noted Snape is a man in exile from everyone, including himself, including the only thing he ever really had that resembled friends even if they were horrid, and he must spend every day betraying them.

7. Dumbledore may have saved Snape's life and in doing so may have held out redemption in front of him, but while there is redemption for Snape ultimately, possibly in the eyes of others, how full of rage he must be in this, to know that his hands will never be clean, that no one will ever bother about the state of his soul, that if there's a dirty, awful job he will always be the one to do it, because why does a little more blood matter? And I think it does matter to him desperately, and I think the degree to which it makes him want to hate those he owes such a debt to and actually value him for his capabilities -- it was gutwrenching to read and must be choking to live.

I just... there were so many points I couldn't even speak it was so awful to me.




And other stuff:

1. The scene ith Harry and Dumbledore trying to get the Horcrux is spectacular.

2. The note in the locket? Does this mean "Voldeort I hope you become mortal so you will be killed" or does this mean "I miss my friend, and would like to see him once more whole before his necessary demise"?

3. Hermione and Ron? Not as icky as I thought.

4. Bill. I love Bill. This is hard.

5. Fleur. Yay French bitch!

6. Percy? Aren't you a Death Eater yet?

7. Dear Lucius, How's prison?

8. Does Draco have the Mark yet or not?

9. Remus and Tonks? I'm of the Remus and Sirius were together, that is what JKR wants us to think, and I still sort of like this, even if it's kind of yicky from a "let us be a comfort to each other over the one who truly owns our hearts." Poor things.

10. Is there a good equivalent of a Horcrux? Whether there is or not, does Dumbledore have one? Snape?

11. We see Harry do a lot of really Slytheran and occassionally really fucked up shit in this book, in a way that goes pretty much unremarked (at least with that context). Nice.

12. All this love is the only thing that can save you business? Written in a way that occassionally made me giggle like an ass, but not bad. Using is as "why Snape's evil" sorry folks. All love doesn't look the same. I think it's in there.

13. That Determination, Destination whatever the hell it is thing -- the three D's? Sent me into fits of laughter over and over. Because it felt like the wizarding worlds "Communication, Transportation, Accomodation and ... Hair."

14. The Dementors are _breeding_?

15. Kicky scratchy!

16. Malfoy walking around with a girl under each arm and it turns out to be polyjuiced Crabbe and Goyle??? Lol. I don't want to read it, but I hope to god some corner of fandom just exploded over that.

Comments

[thefirethorn.livejournal.com]

I agree -- Snape being Really The Bad Guy seems way too easy. It would make more sense if there was something else that we aren't seeing.



The argument with Dumbledore in the woods? I think Snape's intent was that if he wound up in a position where upholding the unbreakable voew meant something awful, he was willing to die for not fufilling it. It reminded me of Jesus arguing with Judas in Last Temptation of Christ.



As others have noted, Snape and Dumbledore are both accomplished at Occulemency -- what do you think was passing between them in that moment, huh?

I have two theories:

1) SNAPE=GOOD rollick is right, and the liquid Dumbledore drank was actually the Horcrux. He was asking Snape to kill him.

or

2) SNAPE=BAD EXACTLY. Dumbledore was good, but Snape was better. In that moment, Dumbledore found out that Snape was the better Occulemencer, and had been fooling him all that time.

Regardless of what side he's on, these are the actions of a man who does not expect to be alive in a year's time.

Wouldn't it be cool if Snape took the Unbreakable Vow knowing that it would kill him, just to prove his loyalty to Dumbledore?