(no subject)

[rm]

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/03/education/03preschool.html

I don't remember the pre-school derby. It may not have realy existed in the early 70s, I'm not sure. But I do remember my kindergarten applications, being put in a yellow dress and photographed in front of my mother's avocado plant and me sort of howling about it, wondering why it mattered what I looked like for me to go to school. I also remember some of the interviews -- playing with plastic animals and putting them on little squares decorated with those same animals -- apparently it is significantly difficult to recognize that a three dimensional pig goes with a flat pig. A rag doll to play with, to hold, to see if I had compassion for it -- it was a boring toy -- at home, I had a plastic motorcyle, I'd put my foot on the seat of and would push around with my other leg, going on about Evil Knieval, but here I had to show everyone that I was a nice clever girl that would make their school look good, literally. And while I can recall large swathes of my childhood where I loved dresses and all manner of delicate things, that was not the case during those interviews. I hated being dressed up, and I thought the plastic animal game was stupid, and would say so. I went to Hewitt, which was irritated me from the start, from the naptimes that bored me to my homeroom teacher who decided I was too fearful to be allowed in iceskating classes. And we had to wear particular bloomers under our uniforms, which struck me as an invasion of privacy and a fearfulness of precocious children even then. I remember my rages about it very specifically. And that business about sticking a scissors in a lightsocket in Descensus? That is my one true Mary Sue moment, as I did do that in nap time one day, and my arm was numb for days and days. I never told anyone, just kept hiding in the bathroom and rubbing it and worried. I'd steal cookies on the way, as the teachers would stay watching the other nappers, and the cubboards with the oatmeal ones were by the bathroom. I stole cookies every day, and then often after classes, when I was in the older grades and we walked downstairs to meet ou parents individually. The kindergarteners would be gone, and I would raid their cubboards for a cookie or two, and a ball of this or that fuzz and googly eyes for this or that craft project. I was lonely.

At any rate, everytime I read one of these articles (which are at minimum an annual event in New York, where we must constantly be convinced that everyone lives the life of some neurotic new money in this city) I go absolutely nuts. It's not that it's too much pressure on the kids or parents, nor that the expenses are exhorbidant or irrational. It's just the whole self-important delusion of it all and the notion that the intelligence of children can be measured by parents kissing ass, attractiveness, comportment or how one holds a damn rag doll. I'm sure there are theories on all this, people who spend their lives dedicated to it, so that the plastic animals busines really did show I was clever, easily bored and disliked authority or something, but it can't be good for anyone for little children to feel insulted at having to jump through hoops. That should be the test. Does this crap piss them off?

Comments

[sethg]

I see a market niche for the Emma Goldman Preschool.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I need to note solely that the first gmail ad to come up along this comment is "Are You a Slacker Mom?"

I despair for the species.

[sethg]

If it's any consolation, I think the mishegas with preschools is a New-York-specific thing. Boston certainly has lots of people with more money than sense, but I don't see articles about them obsessing over sending their little darlings to just the right place. I assume that's because the Boston overclass is geographically dispersed, mostly into the suburbs, so there aren't so many preschools competing for the same pool of neurotic parents.

[splix.livejournal.com]

It's actually quite pervasive out here in the Southwest [Albuquerque] - highly competitive here and in Scottsdale, AZ as well. Growing affluent population, smaller percentage of private schools, etc.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

I was in NYC Private Schools all the way through my education. I feel your pain.

Kindergarten @ Riverdale, 1st-10th at Dalton, 11th and 12th at Calhoun.

Calhoun was the refuge.

What doesn't kill me makes me stranger.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I left hewitt after 9th and went to stuyvestant. What remains sad is while I learned new things at Stuy and in college, I never got a better education than i did at Hewitt, all evils aside.

Anyway, yeah. That private school comiseration bond is a serious instant thing.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

While Dalton is considered more prestigious, I feel I got a much better education at Calhoun. College, even though UR is a top-30 school, I felt was quite a joke. But then, it's a school geared towards the sciences, and I was an English/Theatre major. (And the English department is actually quite exceptional, with one of the best medieval libraries on the east coast, as well as some of the best medieval scholars in the country. I've had Harvard students envious of my professors.)

Education is a silly thing. Important, and valuable, but silly. Maybe it's the way we go about it that's silly.

These days, I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. I was miserable, but I'm me because of them. I guess that's the breathing room that not-quite-24 gives. *shrug*

Ah, Private Schools...so ridiculous.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I've always heard good things about Calhoun. Dalton scares me. I used to go to summer camp there.

And yeah, I'd be a waste of carbon without the private school horrors in a lot of ways, and my affectations wouldn't be nearly so funny or effective if I didn't have the Latin and assorted other BS to back it up. But it's all terribly damn surreal to think about it.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Dalton was terrifying. It was every social Darwinist's wet dream.

As a child, up until the age of about thirteen or fourteen I wouldn't have known a social skill if it had bitten me on the ass. There are many who would say this is still true. ;)

So between my own social awkwardness, being very tiny, not too great at sports, and crazy enough that by the age of 12, my shrink "decided" I had ADD, I had NO friends. Had I started Dalton in 9th grade, when it was cool to be a little off-beat, I may have had more success, but as it was, I was friendless for years. The few friends I managed to pick up early on dropped me by middle school, and it took me several years to really acknowledge the friends I'd made in middle school as worth it. (I had elaborate fantasies akin to "Can't Buy Me Love." In fact, I nearly had a mental breakdown after watching that move in 9th grade.)

Calhoun, as I said, was much better for me. Sadly, my class was a whopping 24 people (including me), and of that, about 18 of them had been there since first grade at the earliest. (There were several more who'd been there since pre-K.) It was a tight knit group, and between that, and the fact I had my head up my ass with an emotionally abusing long-distance relationship (double trouble!), I never quite made my way in.

But I got my grades up and got into college, which was the whole point of the switch in the first place! ;)

I'm so glad that's all behind me. *phew*

[rm.livejournal.com]

Had I stayed in my class at Hewitt, I would have graduated in a class of eight. It boggles the mind.

[dacuteturtle.livejournal.com]

I so cannot relate. I did Catholic school for 1-8. I then went to public school. I like to think that if I went to private school, I would have been just-as-miserable at social stuff, but I would have been pushed more academically, and may have stayed more interested in what I was doing.

At this point, I can state rather firmly, that we have no fucking clue about how to rate intelligence. The first folks who rated intelligence were academics, and they rated you for academic intelligence. These days, they have intelligence tests for everything, but what it really seems to rate is "success", rather than intelligence. This is all competition so that you keep up with or exceed your peers.

I rather prefer one stone scuptor's view of intelligence. "Give me any kid on the street, and I'll teach them how to be a stone carver. Most of them will be great at it." One eastern European chessmaster decided to teach his two adopted girls to play chess. They both played at the master level. Can you get any more random than that? All tests do is weed out obvious problem children, or children who randomly developed slower along the path that you test. That's a weird sort of Darwinism.

[graene.livejournal.com]

I've heard about this most of my life, and I still can't get over the difference between this and where I grew up. the public schools were better than the private and the only debate was over the birthday cutoff each year.

[saltbox.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is a whole weird world for me. But then again, when I was in kindergarden I was in Mississippi. At a weirdo hippie Montessori school (yes private) where there wasn't any admissions and everyone learned at their own speed and there were no grades. So strange that my parents--conformists as they are--sent me there. But it was nice.

[lawnrrd]

Lauren and I will probably be able to afford private school for Leo when the time comes, but our neighborhood has well-regarded public schools, and I see no reason to jump through the hoops you mention.

Besides, I went to public school in a big city from grades 7-12, and I turned out just fine.

I slay myself sometimes.

[miep.livejournal.com]

eh. we care more about the parents in the interview than the children. If the parents are on board and are willing to work with us, then there is pretty much never a problem. I can't imagine interviewing a child for preschool! for first grade, the assessments are all drawing and physical coordination and sensory integration and the like...

but i was a public school child from k throuh 12, in a college town, and i seem to have turned out ok....