(no subject)

[rm]

No matter how old I get, or how solid my nature, sense of self, or internal certitude becomes, I will always be flattered, I suppose, when those in serious professions I have no particular knowledge in (or even interest in pursuing) note that I would make a worthy apprentice.

When I meet the wizard, indeed.

Largely, this makes me slightly sad. Certainly, I've no longer the patience to be embarassed by it.

Comments

[miep.livejournal.com]

why would one be embarrassed?

no one ever notes that of me.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I'm extraordinarily unfond of how others view my supposed tendency to dip my head. I guess that's the best way of explaining it.

[miep.livejournal.com]

oh blah. I think it's a myth.

so is the apprentice. apprentices are a myth.

and so are professions.

beyond that, I can't figure out where you keep meeting such pompous folk.

[rm.livejournal.com]

My own fault on this one -- both being pompous and once having a rather inaccurate public and private face for myself.

[miep.livejournal.com]

hrmmmmmm

meaning they don't jibe, or that the private face is also inaccurate?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Meaning that the private was was also inaccurate. I think we all go through these things where we even manage to internalize who w think we should be,or who we think is interesting to other people, and while it's never entirely wrong, it's often deeply inaccurate and simple.

[miep.livejournal.com]

ah. yes. so very true. Is it just those of us raised as girls who do this, or only children, or is it truly everyone?

it's like parzival failing to ask the question because he's trying so hard to be a knight, even though he already is one...

Who i thought i should be still rears her head every once in a while and asks why i'm not doing it right, but usually she stays quiet. who i am is profoundly uninteresting to most people, and that's fine with me most of the time. when it isn't is when I don't find myself interesting or even true. the made up me is intensely boring. and self-centered.