coming out

[rm]

Letter to my parents, written just now, being sent later today, on paper, in the mail. Bombs away.:

Dear Mom & Dad,

First, thank you for all your support, obviously in general, but specifically about all this intestinal distress -- I get sick so rarely, and I handle it so poorly. Sorry if I've been a big baby about it.

This letter, however, is not about that, and I apologize in advance for dropping everything on you at once, but the recent stress has made me realize how exhausted and unhappy my decision to keep certain details about my life from you has made me. My doctor is at the Callen-lorde center, which is a health center for the gay community. Kali has come up so often in this discussion of my health because she is my girlfriend -- we've been together over a year, and while I've dated other women before, it was never serious enough for me to feel any of us needed the potential stress of this revelation. To me, this (and her) is both an ordinary and wonderful part of my life -- to you, who knows? Although, in the scheme of my sometimes challenging disposition, this is probably an easy one, and I hope that in time my being honest with you about this will help to strengthen all that good family stuff I've not always been so good at.

I love you.

-Racheline

Comments

[gaaneden.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I hope for the best for you.

[random-girl.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I'm not really sure what additional supportive noises to make, other than for my other friends who came out and were nervous, in their cases there was a lot less to be nervous about than they thought.

I hope the same for you.

[algor.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I hope you get the reactions you're hoping for.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Yay for being direct, for being brave and for taking the leap. I have always admired you for the force and energy of your personality and will. Good luck with this, and hopefully the fall out will be minimal.

[askeladden.livejournal.com]

Very kind, sensible letter.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Hopefully, that stress's removal will make a lot of things easier to deal with.

[billijean.livejournal.com]

Wow... good luck!

How does this make you feel?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Can't. stop. crying.

But now that it's in a sealed, stamped, envelope, it also seems like not that big a deal.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I should also add, there's a real revelation in writing in a way that gives them the benefit of the doubt. In some ways, it's more than they deserve. I'm a difficult child, and they've been difficult parents, and it's a peculiar part of my nature that's letting that go for this. Certainly, it's not the part of my nature that enables pretty much everything else I do.

[00goddess.livejournal.com]

Really, I am so impressed by that part. Your letter is very gentle and kind, and that may inspire them to respond in the same manner. Good luck.

[iterum.livejournal.com]

Go you!

Good luck with all of it, family and health.

[wurmwyd.livejournal.com]

Hi there!

Wow. Being heterosexual, I'll never know if I'd have the amazing courage it must take to write a letter like that. [hugs]

[rollick.livejournal.com]

Wow. Congratulations, and good luck.

[nisaa.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I know what writing that letter is like. I wrote one to my mom many years ago. *hugs*

[splix.livejournal.com]

I've written that letter. Hope all goes well.

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Hope all goes well!

I wish you the response of my mother... when I told her I also liked girls, she replied: "Well, I've always liked Jamaican men." :)

Go you!

[labellerose.livejournal.com]

Very very best of luck to you with this. Hope everyting goes well.

[graene.livejournal.com]

oh, wow. I read this and was remembering the first time I met your mom at a holiday dinner, and suddenky I heard, "Rachie can never do things the easy way, but why couldn't she be a nice Jewish doctor?" in my head. I realize that's as much an echo of my mom's expectations as anything, but I do hope this goes well, however you want to define that. *hug*

I think it's very well written, does give them the benefit of the doubt on your whole adult relationship and is terribly brave given that relationship. Again, big, big *hug*.

[lordcamiliano.livejournal.com]

Wow. Powerful letter. Hopefully, by raising you to be the open minded and intelligent, your parents have those same values in them. I hope they can say something along the lines of "You're gay? So what? Tell us more about Kali".

Good luck and feel better. ::hugs::

[schmidtybooger.livejournal.com]

This is a wonderful letter; succinct, respectful, and honest. I applaud your courage and hope they surprise you with their response (in a very good way, of course).

Bold and beautiful..

[haya.livejournal.com]

thank you for showing us this.
((((HUGS))))
Love for you both and your family!

[lllvis.livejournal.com]

Strength to your courage. And I'll keep the fingers crossed that it all goes well.

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Well written! I hope everything turns out for the best.

[fleur.livejournal.com]

That's a lovely letter. Chips fall where they may, it's out there, and you're a more honest person for it, and that feels good.

[tearsinger.livejournal.com]

I will write one of these letters, probablly this calander year.
Thanks for sharing it.

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

Beautifully done.

[theotoky.livejournal.com]

wow. hooray to you, rach! congratulations. i am so proud of you.

[miep.livejournal.com]

in a long, long list of brave things i have known you to do, this is at the top.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Well done. Someone should definitely make bomb-shaped cards for just such occasions.

[raaven.livejournal.com]

Congratulations and bravo! Very well done indeed.

[lawnrrd]

Congratulations on doing this, and I wish you the best in your family's response.

I have never really known much about your relationship with your parents, save that it is, to use your word, "difficult." But I've always assumed that you were out to them. Then again, the rules for our families are often different. Maybe this just says more about my jumping to conclusions than it does anything about you.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed at your grace and eloquence in this letter, and I hope the response is good.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Wow; congratulations.

[ladypeculiar.livejournal.com]

I am really, incredibly proud of you today. Standing ovation.

[sola.livejournal.com]

I hear the forgiveness and alteration in this letter. I hope they take it in that spirit, and that it all goes well.

[hangedwoman.livejournal.com]

I hope your family receives this well, but more importantly I hope that you are OK regardless.

[ekatarina.livejournal.com]

Wonderful letter. I wish you serenity.

Ekatarina

[spiralflames.livejournal.com]

congratulations. well done.

[ali-highland.livejournal.com]

Fingers crossed lass

[magnetgirl.livejournal.com]

I go to Callen-Lorde too! They're amazing!

Good luck, dear.

[winterknight.livejournal.com]

I wish you all the best. I'd certainly be under a lot of stress with that on my plate. I hope you feel better soon, you must be exhausted.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lj_sucks_/]

I always thought you were bi. Then again, I tend to assume that about most people.

I'm also really surprised you hadn't told them a long time ago.

Anyway, good luck. I'm sure it'll be OK.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I am bi, that's just a word my parents are partcularly allegic to, such that I didn't frame the revelation that way, as it should be deducable from my several LTR's with men.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lj_sucks_/]

OK. It's just that accurate or not, popular perception seems to be that it's not uncommon for people to live in denial for a decade or more and then suddenly realize they're completely gay.