This has very little to do with approval, or a discussion of my sex life with my parents. Heterosexual children mention their SOs to their parents all the time without being told they are immature for attempting to discuss their sex lives with their parents. I simply want to be able to mention who I'm dating with the same degree of casualness and general courtesy as I would get were the indivual(s) in question in any given situation male.
Similarly, I would think, although clearly, I would be wrong, that my parents would at least grok that writing such a letter might cause some degree of stress, and that I'd at least like to know if it were received. Certainly, I would be more than satisfied with an exchange acknowledging that they received it and perhaps don't know what to say. Because of course, there isn't much to say! Which is what I would tell them, then end, fine and dandy. Of course, I should have thought of this before I wrote the damn thing, and perhaps realized the need for explicit requests as regards communication with them.
Believe me, straight as I am, I spared my parents a lot of the details about various SOs I had. The case still applies. Coming out to your parents is a big deal and I won't mimimize it. But I have to say that, even though you have a lot of issues with your parents, they still seem to matter so much to you. Of all the people I know of your age on LJ, you still seem the most consumed by your parents and their opinions. I have read your LJ for years and it's something I've noticed.
Again, if it was my kid... getting a letter? I'd wish they would have told me in person.
It would be more polite of them (switching hats to Miss Manners) to acknowledge the letter and its contents in some way. Such a large and tricky disclosure is not something to ignore.
You could ask them, politely, if they received the letter you sent last week, and see what that provokes. It can be tricky to tell (certainly for me, not knowing them and not having details) whether they're in denial, gobsmacked into silence, or offended in some way, or what.
Regardless, they should treat your girlfriend as they would treat any similar male attachment of such duration at this point, and if they don't, you may politely request that they not neglect her.
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Re: Ann Landers
Date: 2006-04-11 07:22 pm (UTC)Similarly, I would think, although clearly, I would be wrong, that my parents would at least grok that writing such a letter might cause some degree of stress, and that I'd at least like to know if it were received. Certainly, I would be more than satisfied with an exchange acknowledging that they received it and perhaps don't know what to say. Because of course, there isn't much to say! Which is what I would tell them, then end, fine and dandy. Of course, I should have thought of this before I wrote the damn thing, and perhaps realized the need for explicit requests as regards communication with them.
Me?
Date: 2006-04-11 07:27 pm (UTC)Again, if it was my kid... getting a letter? I'd wish they would have told me in person.
Re: Ann Landers
Date: 2006-04-11 07:44 pm (UTC)You could ask them, politely, if they received the letter you sent last week, and see what that provokes. It can be tricky to tell (certainly for me, not knowing them and not having details) whether they're in denial, gobsmacked into silence, or offended in some way, or what.
Regardless, they should treat your girlfriend as they would treat any similar male attachment of such duration at this point, and if they don't, you may politely request that they not neglect her.