I keep telling this story lately

[rm]

rollick posted a poll the other day about what's most uncomfortable to discuss with both strangers and friends. Options included stuff like money, sex and health. But the number one choice in both sections of the poll was "fantasy life," so she is now soliciting input on what people mean by that.

In my usual fashion, I side-stepped the question, but told this story instead, which is the sort of thing that lingers with me as a significant horror.

Actually, I have a story, that explains it all. When I was in high school, my best friend got a nose job for her 16th birthday. As she was coming out of the anesthesia, she started talking to a character from a soap opera that was, of course, not in the room, but that, as these things go, was terribly important to her -- not just a crush, but a sort of internal friend/romantic object. Of course, her parents _were_ there and never let her live it down. Mock her about it to this day. And it makes me sad, and terrifies me.

Love is big and complicated and alone and often fictional, even when directed at real people. It seems cruel to tease, especially a teenager, about such things. It's what made me understand that fantasy is dangerous, poorly regarded, and the swiftest weapon against anyone, and for all I say, there is so much I don't.

Comments

[melebeth]

Now I feel bad about my 20 years of tormenting my childhood best friend for running up and kissing the screen whenever Doogie Hauser was on.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Well, no harm in mocking people for their lack of discretion. ;) I mean, she wasn't _drugged_.

Fantasy, Honesty, Art

[keith418.livejournal.com]

In reading interviews with the famous cartoonist Robert Crumb, I often see him citing the work of his fellow cartoonist, S. Clay Wilson. Wilson, Crumb keeps saying, showed him that nothing was off limits in their work - that any subject, no matter how revolting, taboo, or disgusting, could be used in a comic. Crumb was a professionally trained artist who had worked for years at a greeting card company and, under those "commerical conditions" had learned to repress himself. Wilson showed him he didn't have to. Wilson's crude work liberated Crumb.

Your LJ has had a similiar effect on my own writing. While I think we disagree about any number of things, without your example, I do not think I would have ever begun to explore certain areas.

"If any ambitious man have a fancy to revolutionize, at one effort, the universal world of human thought, human opinion, and human sentiment, the opportunity is his own — the road to immortal renown lies straight, open, and unencumbered before him. All that he has to do is to write and publish a very little book. Its title should be simple — a few plain words — 'My Heart Laid Bare.' But — this little book must be true to its title."

- Edgar Allan Poe

Being open about your fantasy life is, I think, a place to start down that road.

[poodah.livejournal.com]

I feel like my fanstasy life is so bland compared to the ones I developed as a child. As if being adult means letting it all go in order to focus on making the reality better than fantasy.

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[telesilla.livejournal.com]

When I was 14 and we were moving to Iran in '77, I picked up a fantasy series and fell in love with it. The world, the characters, the magic; I loved it all and I probably talked about it a hell of a lot. Looking back I knew that part of my reason for loving it was that the protag was 14 and facing the fact that he was suddenly different than most of the people around him, something I could relate to, plus there was a lot about how religion was a positive force that could turn ugly in the hands of fanatics.

My dad, who was not much of a reader, and certainly didn't read fantasy, read at least one of the books. Several years later, when we were in Belgium we took a short day trip to a ruined abbey he'd visited while interviewing for his job. He told me that he really wanted me to see it because it reminded him of this one location in the book. Once we got there, no one in the family thought it was odd that I kept to myself and wandered around touching walls and kneeling down to rest my hand on paving stones.

If Mom had been the one to make the comparison between book and site, I wouldn't have blinked because I knew she thought that way. But the fact that it was Dad, who was usually the "practical" one in the family, can still move me to tears.

So really what I'm saying in a extremely long winded way is that I'm so very lucky to have had parents who understood how important the inner fantasy life is, even when your child is 17.

[hangedwoman.livejournal.com]

Damn. This reminds me of a post I meant to write months ago about fantasy and the fact that we really lack understanding of the purpose it serves and maybe it's not always meant to be shared.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Love is big and complicated and alone and often fictional, even when directed at real people.

That has got to be one of the best quotes ever. I may have that carved into my skin at some point.

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

"Love is big and complicated and alone and often fictional, even when directed at real people. It seems cruel to tease, especially a teenager, about such things. It's what made me understand that fantasy is dangerous, poorly regarded, and the swiftest weapon against anyone, and for all I say, there is so much I don't."

Yes, and yes, and YES! An observation you made years ago, about honoring desire, and those who mock it, has stuck with me as a touchstone for good people. Not a guarantee, of course, but someone who understands that stands a good chance of being someone I can get along with on some levels.