(no subject)

[rm]

Should have more AC articles up today. My pay rates have been going up, and I've earned a gift certificate via the site too (at least $25, I'm trying to see if I can get to the next level before the end of the month to double it). So I'm pretty pleased.

My rate of publishing there will probably go down this week though because I have another 100 reviews to do for $$ over at Judy's Book -- if I can think of another 100 places in NYC to review. Having done nearly 200 already, I am starting to run low of ideas. JB is pretty cool though. They sent me some schwag (*yawn*) but also a movie theatre gift card, which is fabulous! If you want to make $150 writing quick local reviews and get paid by paypal by the end of the month, tell me, and I'll send you the referral info.

What all of this means however, is that when I get paid for the JB stuff, I can order the Snape coat from Kambriel. Muahahaahah. I really hope the night of the JKR reading at Radio City is unseasonably cool. That's all.

Also me? still feeling pretty good. I had some fat-free dairy last night, which my stomach found, surprising, I think after not having any dairy for a month. But it wasn't a problem, and i think gradually warming up to it will be just fine.

I should write about my hair later. Just, the saga of it. It's a saga for everyone I think, women at least, but I'm not sure how much we all admit to the fact that sometimes it seems like the only story there is. Hard to explain unless you read this and are just nodding already. but I have an odd truce with mine these days, and that's the funniest thing on earth.

When I was younger, and part of The Internet Community That Must Not Be Named, I spent a lot of time writing about highly personal things, in part beause I was that age where of course I thought that my emotional experiences were unique and didn't particularly get that if anything was, it was merely my observational skills about them. Even when I talked about how my art was about addressing the common things we all experience and no one talks about, I still thought I was a unique snowflake. And, oh the heavens, people hated me for it, or more specifically for that the fact that a) I wouldn't shut up and b) hating people was sort of what was fashionable on The Internet Community That Must Not Be Named. And I didn't get it. I mean, just didn't, didn't, didn't fucking get it. I'll tell you what I get now though -- I get that the lot of that was valid -- both my self-indulgence and the anger it generated -- it was just two different versions of the same damn type of being young. And everything I experienced and observed and thought was so astounding and unique? Probably mostly was, for who and what I was then, just as things now are also certainly such, for who and what I am now. But there are things outside the realm of words, and someone who values language should know that better than anyone. I didn't then, and I do now. And when I didn't, so many people tried to tell me that I should understand it, so that in understanding it I would be quiet, quiet, quiet. I don't talk to those people anymore, because what I realize, just in this moment, is that their flaw for me was simple: they found something true and used it as an excuse to slack. Words aren't good enough, and they became silent and thought that was something to be proud of and tried to insist it was an orthodoxy of maturity or normalacy. Words aren't good enough, and I value the goddamn struggle. I've always been so weak, so hysterical, so _crazed_ about shit. But I hate cowardice more than anything, and I can't believe I let myself spend time listening to those who wished it on me with such self-blind fervor.

Comments

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

My hair and I could be a freaking show on the WB. It's longish and supercurly and it really only behaves on alternating days of the week where Charo and Iocaste are aligned at the deriviative of a right angle to Neptune. I'm getting it cut on Saturday before I graduate and I'm not leaving the salon until the stylist straightens it and puts some sort of magical hex on it to prevent it from frizzing in the least. Stay tuned for an all new special episode after these messages.

[00goddess.livejournal.com]

If this place is not NY-specific, I would love a referral. I can review a LOT of places down here. I am a neighborhood girl.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Not NY specific at all. Email on its way.

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

Nodding already.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think it's worse for curly girls and debatably girly girls.

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

I am learning that straighter haired girls often feel similarly, although it's an entirely different ball game, if that makes sense. Everyone wants what they haven't. Everyone is sick of fighting with what they have.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Woman with straight hair are not inherently viewed as immature or messy though. When I graduated college, we had mandatory career counselling. The only advice I received was to cut and straighten my hair.

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Reading the message boards at naturallycurly.com (I know, I know) I see women from certain cultures (Egypt, Iran, etc) called whores - by their own family - for having curly hair or for refusing to straighten it. There's an association with unfettered danger, excess sexuality, and a general threat to order.

Did you cut it or is this when you grew your hair? And have you ever gotten a bad response for having "unruly" hair?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Neither. I started growing it in high school, because I was sick of never being allowed to have long hair as a child. It was my act of rebellion. And I didn't cut it, not seriously, until I was getting ready to leave Brooklyn the second time -- I guess I was 27. When I had long hair, I had job interviewers even call an agency with and tell them I was unprofessional and unkempt, and the only thing I could ever think of in that interview, was that I wore my ahir down.

Honestly, the worst part of my hair for me, otehr than being just another part of the "dirty messy weirdo" factor, is that it's taken me my whole life to realize it looks best and looks best on me, exactly _exactly_ as it is now, which is also exactly as it was when I was a kid. Not long. Not crazy short, not in a bob, but kind of wavy, utterly nondescript and somewhere around my chin. it's never been what I wanted, but it's what it is. Which is true of all sorts of things, I suppose.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I never really thought about this (straight hair that has gotten a little wavy with age/other changes), but now that I do, my curly-haired female friends are all kind of pleasantly defiant about their hair.

I think straight hair makes me look like a dorky little goody goody and when the cowlick in the back starts sticking up I feel like my true personality comes out more, so, I guess I do kind of get it.

hair

[lolliejean.livejournal.com]

sometimes it seems like the only story there is

So true. It's pretty amazing when I think about just how much my life revolves around my hair and what it's doing or what needs to be done to it.

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

I'd love a JB referral.

And, ah, the magic of being young (and around other young people)... it's special.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Check your email.

And those other people were not as young as they should have been for all the ill behavior.

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

Done! Mentioned thy email.

*shakes head*