yeah, that's why I do it

[rm]

My sense of my body tells me the back of my head is heavier than my chin, and that even if it weren't I'd pretend, as I do not, in fact, need to see my feet to walk; my posture is proud and I forget this offends.

I dress, when I dress (as opposed to throwing on crap), in a very particular fashion. What surprises me, when I stop to think about it, is that people never make fun of me for the clothes. If I get comments at all, they are gracious and lovely. Well, people at work made fun of me for a few months for wearing my pants tucked into boots, and then the whole world decided that was fashion, and I was smug. I'm been just ahead of the curve for a few years now, and I've been enjoying it.

Today I wore one of my bustle skirts, which, while costumey, is worth noting was purchased at Urban Outfitters. The second I got onto the subway a woman burst into laughter and started speaking extremely loudly to her friend across the aisle as if I were not there between them.

The friend nodded at her derision of me.

"Oh no, you got to see it from behind. It's all this messed up laundry, we know she don't have an ass under there, she thinks that's gonna get her something."

I turned and glared at the woman. This is usually effective. I made eye contact with her until she looked away, and then she continued. Despite every impulse in my body, I didn't move; instead I watched the other woman's young son wave a baseball bat between his legs and declare it was his penis. His mom didn't notice, because she was dying to see the stupid ass on my skirt and telling her friend so loudly.

Finally, a seat opened up, and you're damn right I'll move for that. In doing so, the woman with the son was able to see my skirt, and also started howling. "Ugly!" she shouted, and the first woman began to make fun of my posture, by sitting up straight, holding her head up high, and then wriggling.

I leaned forward in my seat. "It's a bustle. And you're rude."

Eye contact again, but no acknowledgement, she turned back to her friend and continued on. I grit my teeth, and eventually they got off the subway, the little boy still waving the whiffle ball bat between his legs. I tried to ungrit my teeth and failed.

People rarely fuck with me about my aesthetic deal these days. I suspect this transpired largely because this morning I wanted to dress masculinely and couldn't because it was too hot out, and with my general aesthetic sense, it's just impossible when it gets warm, so I felt a bit in drag today and perhaps my discomfort registered. I don't know.

The fact remains that how I dress and how I look has a sense and consistency to it. The fact also remains that I'm all for gossip, opinions and even scathing remarks, but you either address it to the person, or you keep it under your breath, you don't hoot and holler your obliviousness and you do not mock people for carrying their body with dignity.

I'm a ridiculous soul, but not in this sense. And it really sucked.

Comments

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

The bit about the boy and the penis/bat is interesting.

I had to look up (modern) bustles on the web since I hadn't realized they had come back, and while I'm not crazy about the style (and it would make my butt look fat), it does seem like there's a better way to handle it. I could imagine someone saying 'Did you know your skirt is hiked up in back?' if they really didn't get that it was an understood style.

Honestly, saying "Did you see that woman's skirt?" and then asking you what it is might still have been rude but at least included you in the interaction and given you the opportunity to claim your own outfit, you know?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Like it's totally cool for her to think it was ugly, it might even have been acceptable for her to communicate this to her friend in front of me, or to me directly, but woah, this! It was so loud too. So so so loud. It was one of those oments where everyone on teh train kept looking at each other trying to decide if they should get even more uncomfortable!

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

I think this ties in to the opposite of one aspectyour behavior; it's the "We can speak loudly about whatever we like in front of the servants/underclass/human-shaped things of no account, because they don't matter, and if they're intelligent enough to be humiliated, then good for them" mindset.

I don't know if that came out clearly, but it's the "you're nothing but a target" bullshit.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I had to read that twice, but yeah, totally.