tip

[rm]

Do not EVER call me "girl" as a term of address (except, possibly, in the "girl, you know it!" or similar "hey, girl!" (said among equals, not as if I were a horse) colloquial sort of way -- I unprefer it, but will not take umbrage to it).

Doesn't matter if you understand the context for my objection or not. I have a name, actually several in certain senses, and they've each been earned several times over. Courtesy would demand you don't take liberties with those either -- for starts, my name isn't Rachel, for seconds you can't just automatically use my standard nickname if you haven't previously (ask please, I won't say no probably, I just loathe the presumption), and there are certain terms of address that need to stay within the frame or subset of my life they originated in. Certain unfortunate past terms of address, while essentially impossible to strike from the record, are, to put it mildly, inadvisable to use, unless your intent is to be discourteous.

Finally, if you've been bounced out (or you, yourself flounced out) of my life and want back, you have to go to start with proper name again, otherwise, I'll just think you're wheedling. You can't remember it? ASK ME.

Comments

[fuyukodachi.livejournal.com]

Far too often, when I am introduced to someone as Gabriel, I immediately become Gabe. If I wanted to be called Gabe, I would have told you that was my name in the first place.

I had to struggle to switch from thinking of you as your former online name to your actual real name, because I am bad about that sort of thing-- I stick to the name I am told first with a horrible tenacity and even if offered some other form of address, find it almost impossible to change, because I have a hard time remembering names in the first place, and whatever I've managed to imprint on my brain is more or less there to stay. I make the effort, of course, if I'm wrong, but as far as your real name and your common nickname are concerned, I don't think I can change again, so I've never asked.

This culture's butchery of names is something I never seem to grow accustomed to, and largely why I am giving my flesh an emotionally neutral un-fuck-up-able first name to spare myself further stress from customer service people trying to be chummy by giving me nicknames. If "Gabe" crawls up my arse sideways from friends, I can't imagine how much more it would make me wwant to scream from a telemarketer.

And then there is the issue of my real real name, which I hardly tell anyone, because I don't think many people can be bothered to try to pronounce it correctly, and I lack the patience.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I know, I hate having to _congratulate_ people when they get my real name right on the first try. And when people call me my old online name by accident, it doesn't make me angry. There are people who would do it as a power play and that does make me angry and that (the powerplay with names) is the entirey of what this post is about.

My nickname, for the record is Rach, which peopel varying seem o spell Rosche, Rasche and whatever else in an effort to differneitate its pronunciation ever so slightly from a common rash.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

At least your common nickname means "revenge" in German. Well, kinda.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

I've never had the Gabe-problem with you. I've known several Gabes, and you remind me of none of them (to your great credit), so it's very easy to think of you as Gabriel.

[fireincarnation.livejournal.com]

I get the same problem with my name. My real first name is Pamela, and everyone wants to call me Pam. I shorten my name by using the last four letters of my name, not by the first three. It annoys me to no end to have people call me Pam.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

As I only know you here on LJ at the moment (though that should change soon enough), I should ask you your name, so that I may address you properly in real life. Mine is Perseus, by the way.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I always think it's on my journal, but I suppose just my initials are.

It's Racheline, which isn't pronounced Rachel-lean (hence one of the name problems), but Ra-shell-lean.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

That is how I would have pronounced it, and it's a beautiful name, by the way.

Death goes to anyone who calls me Percy LOL

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And you speak something other than English, which usually leads to people not screwing it up. (oddly, the Australians who have the harshest "a" sound on the planet, always understand how to pronounce it automatically, but I've never figured out why).

Hahaha, yeah, I can see how that might be a problem.

[magnetgirl.livejournal.com]

I do hope I've never called you girl. But I might've. Noted for the future in any event.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you've never done it in a "denoting someone as submissive" sense, which is my main "What are people thinking?" issue.