Ghosts (repost), Severus/OFC, 39/48
Oct. 30th, 2006 12:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmGhosts (repost), Severus/OFC, 39/48
Rating: G – hard-R; this chapter PG-13
Author’s Notes:
If you don’t know what this is, please read this.
Despite a recent tune-up, this was written in 2001 and is not compliant with the current state of the HP universe.
Your feedback and commentary are always welcome, even for a time capsule such as this.
You can find all chapters here.
If you’re looking for slash, het, poly, Book-6 compliant Slytherin backstory please visit the recently updated Fascilis Descensus Averno a WIP written with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kalichan. It features Severus Severus, Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix & Rodolphus Lestrange and Regulus Black and mostly takes place in 1979 – 1981 but has forays both significantly forward and back in time.
Disclaimer: It’s JKR’s world, I just mess about with it.
Allosia watched him walk into the bathroom and close the door. It wasn't a slam, but it was very pointed. He wanted to be left alone, and she had a sudden odd memory of the night he'd been hurt and had asked her to wait out to make sure he didn't drown. Illogical, but he had wanted the company. She wasn't wearing his kimono then.
She had put it on shortly after returning from the evening meal; it had the scent of him, flesh and something oddly crisp, almost like fennel. Whatever magic one spent the most time around changed a person. Potions, she didn't doubt, were performing some sort of long, slow alchemy on him. She suspected it contributed to his distance from others in some small degree.
She listened to the water run; he was filling the bath and would clearly be a long time. She sighed and reached for her book again before she had a slightly better idea.
Going to his cabinet, she took out a bottle of wine and opened it. Even if he didn't want any, she suspected she would shortly. She poured herself a glass, took a sip, and then poured one for him, before padding over to the bathroom with it. She kicked at the door lightly with her foot and got no response.
"Severus?" she asked quietly.
Still silence.
"I'm letting you alone, I just wanted to know if you'd like a glass of wine."
She could almost hear him pause and think.
"Yes, Gods, thank you," he said as if it were a most revolutionary concept.
She opened the door enough to reach her arm in, and held out the glass for him. He took it and repeated his thanks, before she withdrew her arm from the room, closed the door and went back to her chair to wait.
When he got out of the bath his mood seemed much improved and wrapped in a robe he seated himself somewhat formally in the chair across from her. They looked at each other then for a long time, waiting for one of them to break the silence.
"I'm glad you're home," she said at last with an odd look on her face, as if to say, isn't this ridiculous that I should be here.
"I, as well." He said running a hand through his hair.
"Want to tell me about it?" she asked, encouragingly.
"I have to," he said, voice dark.
She settled back into her chair and waited.
"I want you to know I am sorry in advance. I am sorry if any of this upsets you, I'm sorry if I tell it incoherently, I'm sorry for being this person, for dragging you into this. Just please," and he paused here, too look at her intently, "please, remember that."
She nodded. "Of course."
"The blood… the blood was from some woman two goons were torturing in the forest by the house. I was wandering around trying to clear my head, and she and her exposed intestines crashed into me."
"Oh Gods," Allosia said, a hand starting to come up to cover her mouth.
"They had used all sorts of curses on her, including one to inspire terror, so much so she couldn't even work her mouth to speak. It hardly seems necessary, don't you think, considering?"
Allosia let out an audible breath and shook her head. "Go on," she said.
"I wanted to know her name, but she couldn't tell me, of course. I put a sleeping charm on her. It couldn't be healed, Allosia, it was very ugly and more of an anatomy lesson than I've had in years. I don't even know how she was standing."
Allosia nodded.
"I talked to her a little bit first. She seemed to understand me, could shake her head yes and no. At any rate, I sat on the ground with her, and held her, and closed her mouth and nose." He paused here at length examining the inside of his flexing hand for several moments before looking up at Allosia again. "She died just before the fellows playing with her stumbled on us. She had your hair. Well, your old hair."
Allosia let out a low hiss. "I'm sorry. I --," she said, pulling on her lip, at a loss for words.
"It's all right, I was fairly speechless too. At any rate, Draco's fine, although he looked miserable about everything, and I haven't the slightest idea if that's a permanent condition or not. He had some dead girl with him too, who bled on my shoes, I might add."
It wasn't his sudden coldness that bothered her but how perfunctory it all seemed to him on some level.
"Lucius is as depraved as ever. I got to watch his friends practice sex magic on some woman before he tried to get me to lick her blood off his fingers."
"Did you?" Allosia asked.
"What do you think?" he replied, annoyed.
"Yes," she whispered.
"Yes, and it stopped my lungs from opening for several seconds, which considering the various highlights of the evening, seems rather trivial at the moment."
"What else happened, I have a feeling I'm missing the punch line."
Severus sighed, and leaned back in his chair. "There are concerns about us."
"I don't understand."
"Apparently, Lord Voldemort has a level of awareness about the state of my flesh thanks to this mark, and unfortunately, because of you, that's just become interesting."
"Severus, this is not a time to be subtle, I need to know exactly what you're telling me if you want a reaction."
"A reaction is precisely what I don't want, Allosia. Voldemort and Lucius both know that something's going on between us. They also both know I haven't, as Lucius put it, bedded you yet, and it was strongly, strongly suggested to me that I rectify that promptly and get some useful information out of you for it, before my motivations become suspect."
Allosia just stared at him, her mouth slowly opening. She bolted out of her chair and turned her back to him pacing. Severus felt his body tense. She turned to face him.
"You're trying to tell me, that after not knowing you for twenty years, because you fucked me, and then never spoke to me again so you could impress your Death Eater buddies, that I have for some inexplicable fucking reason gotten tangled up in your life again so it can happen all over? Oh yeah, and you killed a girl tonight too."
Severus just stared at her. Now it was his turn for his mouth to hang open. She was furious; she was also being damn unnecessary about the whole thing.
"No. What I am trying to tell you, is that we've lost the ability for this to take its natural course. Whatever we do now, there's an elephant sitting in the middle of the table, and on some level we're going to have to work with the Ministry so that you can participate in this game with me. Or you can leave, right now. But those are the options as I see them, and I am so sorry."
"How the hell am I supposed to trust you?" she yelled.
"I will do anything I can," he said shaking his head.
"What can you do?" she said, fury evident in her voice.
"Promises, oaths," he was wracking his brain for an eloquence that just simply wasn't there after an already difficult night.
"Look at your arm and tell me those mean anything from you."
"That was a low, Allosia."
"Tell me!"
"I love you, Allosia." He said it very softly, in the voice most people found deadly.
"Now I know why you wouldn't say it last night," she said tightly and turned her back to him.
It was too much, he stood and went to her, and gripping her by the shoulders turned her to face him. She stared up at him with her arms crossed against her chest.
"What in Hades do you want from me? Here, do you want hair, here!" he yelled as he yanked out a dozen or so strands of his hair and threw them at her. "Would blood help? I'll give you that too," and she watched in horror as he tried to scratch blood from him arm.
"What you don't seem to understand, Severus," she said calmly, "is that those generous offers only give me the possibility of vengeance. They don't make me trust you. Hell, I'd be surprised if you didn't want my vengeance."
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, before turning from her and then turning back. "What do you want? Name a price; tell me what it will take."
She thought for a moment. "Vertiaserum."
"All right, when?"
"I won't put you through that tonight," she said, bowing her head.
"Thank you," he said, his anger and despair still evident. "Do you think I was wrong, by the way, to kill that girl?"
"I don't know. How did it feel to you?" she asked.
He smiled slightly then. The curious child he remembered was back. "Intimate, weird, very sad. I'd like to know her name."
She nodded, processing the knowledge.
"It was hard not to think of you."
"The hair?"
"No, just wanting to be back here."
She nodded. "Can you accept that while I don't trust you right now, I do believe you?"
"If you can live with it, I certainly can. It's more than I deserve."
"No, no Severus. I'd say it's about right," her voice was still tight, and still smug, but there was just enough give there for him to hope.
"I'm going to bed, are you coming?" she asked, walking back towards the alcove.
"Allosia, I don't understand," he said.
"If I didn't want to trust you, if I didn't want to stay, do you think I'd be so angry with you?" she asked, looking at him over her shoulder, before disappearing behind the wall.
Rating: G – hard-R; this chapter PG-13
Author’s Notes:
kalichan. It features Severus Severus, Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix & Rodolphus Lestrange and Regulus Black and mostly takes place in 1979 – 1981 but has forays both significantly forward and back in time. Disclaimer: It’s JKR’s world, I just mess about with it.
Allosia watched him walk into the bathroom and close the door. It wasn't a slam, but it was very pointed. He wanted to be left alone, and she had a sudden odd memory of the night he'd been hurt and had asked her to wait out to make sure he didn't drown. Illogical, but he had wanted the company. She wasn't wearing his kimono then.
She had put it on shortly after returning from the evening meal; it had the scent of him, flesh and something oddly crisp, almost like fennel. Whatever magic one spent the most time around changed a person. Potions, she didn't doubt, were performing some sort of long, slow alchemy on him. She suspected it contributed to his distance from others in some small degree.
She listened to the water run; he was filling the bath and would clearly be a long time. She sighed and reached for her book again before she had a slightly better idea.
Going to his cabinet, she took out a bottle of wine and opened it. Even if he didn't want any, she suspected she would shortly. She poured herself a glass, took a sip, and then poured one for him, before padding over to the bathroom with it. She kicked at the door lightly with her foot and got no response.
"Severus?" she asked quietly.
Still silence.
"I'm letting you alone, I just wanted to know if you'd like a glass of wine."
She could almost hear him pause and think.
"Yes, Gods, thank you," he said as if it were a most revolutionary concept.
She opened the door enough to reach her arm in, and held out the glass for him. He took it and repeated his thanks, before she withdrew her arm from the room, closed the door and went back to her chair to wait.
When he got out of the bath his mood seemed much improved and wrapped in a robe he seated himself somewhat formally in the chair across from her. They looked at each other then for a long time, waiting for one of them to break the silence.
"I'm glad you're home," she said at last with an odd look on her face, as if to say, isn't this ridiculous that I should be here.
"I, as well." He said running a hand through his hair.
"Want to tell me about it?" she asked, encouragingly.
"I have to," he said, voice dark.
She settled back into her chair and waited.
"I want you to know I am sorry in advance. I am sorry if any of this upsets you, I'm sorry if I tell it incoherently, I'm sorry for being this person, for dragging you into this. Just please," and he paused here, too look at her intently, "please, remember that."
She nodded. "Of course."
"The blood… the blood was from some woman two goons were torturing in the forest by the house. I was wandering around trying to clear my head, and she and her exposed intestines crashed into me."
"Oh Gods," Allosia said, a hand starting to come up to cover her mouth.
"They had used all sorts of curses on her, including one to inspire terror, so much so she couldn't even work her mouth to speak. It hardly seems necessary, don't you think, considering?"
Allosia let out an audible breath and shook her head. "Go on," she said.
"I wanted to know her name, but she couldn't tell me, of course. I put a sleeping charm on her. It couldn't be healed, Allosia, it was very ugly and more of an anatomy lesson than I've had in years. I don't even know how she was standing."
Allosia nodded.
"I talked to her a little bit first. She seemed to understand me, could shake her head yes and no. At any rate, I sat on the ground with her, and held her, and closed her mouth and nose." He paused here at length examining the inside of his flexing hand for several moments before looking up at Allosia again. "She died just before the fellows playing with her stumbled on us. She had your hair. Well, your old hair."
Allosia let out a low hiss. "I'm sorry. I --," she said, pulling on her lip, at a loss for words.
"It's all right, I was fairly speechless too. At any rate, Draco's fine, although he looked miserable about everything, and I haven't the slightest idea if that's a permanent condition or not. He had some dead girl with him too, who bled on my shoes, I might add."
It wasn't his sudden coldness that bothered her but how perfunctory it all seemed to him on some level.
"Lucius is as depraved as ever. I got to watch his friends practice sex magic on some woman before he tried to get me to lick her blood off his fingers."
"Did you?" Allosia asked.
"What do you think?" he replied, annoyed.
"Yes," she whispered.
"Yes, and it stopped my lungs from opening for several seconds, which considering the various highlights of the evening, seems rather trivial at the moment."
"What else happened, I have a feeling I'm missing the punch line."
Severus sighed, and leaned back in his chair. "There are concerns about us."
"I don't understand."
"Apparently, Lord Voldemort has a level of awareness about the state of my flesh thanks to this mark, and unfortunately, because of you, that's just become interesting."
"Severus, this is not a time to be subtle, I need to know exactly what you're telling me if you want a reaction."
"A reaction is precisely what I don't want, Allosia. Voldemort and Lucius both know that something's going on between us. They also both know I haven't, as Lucius put it, bedded you yet, and it was strongly, strongly suggested to me that I rectify that promptly and get some useful information out of you for it, before my motivations become suspect."
Allosia just stared at him, her mouth slowly opening. She bolted out of her chair and turned her back to him pacing. Severus felt his body tense. She turned to face him.
"You're trying to tell me, that after not knowing you for twenty years, because you fucked me, and then never spoke to me again so you could impress your Death Eater buddies, that I have for some inexplicable fucking reason gotten tangled up in your life again so it can happen all over? Oh yeah, and you killed a girl tonight too."
Severus just stared at her. Now it was his turn for his mouth to hang open. She was furious; she was also being damn unnecessary about the whole thing.
"No. What I am trying to tell you, is that we've lost the ability for this to take its natural course. Whatever we do now, there's an elephant sitting in the middle of the table, and on some level we're going to have to work with the Ministry so that you can participate in this game with me. Or you can leave, right now. But those are the options as I see them, and I am so sorry."
"How the hell am I supposed to trust you?" she yelled.
"I will do anything I can," he said shaking his head.
"What can you do?" she said, fury evident in her voice.
"Promises, oaths," he was wracking his brain for an eloquence that just simply wasn't there after an already difficult night.
"Look at your arm and tell me those mean anything from you."
"That was a low, Allosia."
"Tell me!"
"I love you, Allosia." He said it very softly, in the voice most people found deadly.
"Now I know why you wouldn't say it last night," she said tightly and turned her back to him.
It was too much, he stood and went to her, and gripping her by the shoulders turned her to face him. She stared up at him with her arms crossed against her chest.
"What in Hades do you want from me? Here, do you want hair, here!" he yelled as he yanked out a dozen or so strands of his hair and threw them at her. "Would blood help? I'll give you that too," and she watched in horror as he tried to scratch blood from him arm.
"What you don't seem to understand, Severus," she said calmly, "is that those generous offers only give me the possibility of vengeance. They don't make me trust you. Hell, I'd be surprised if you didn't want my vengeance."
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, before turning from her and then turning back. "What do you want? Name a price; tell me what it will take."
She thought for a moment. "Vertiaserum."
"All right, when?"
"I won't put you through that tonight," she said, bowing her head.
"Thank you," he said, his anger and despair still evident. "Do you think I was wrong, by the way, to kill that girl?"
"I don't know. How did it feel to you?" she asked.
He smiled slightly then. The curious child he remembered was back. "Intimate, weird, very sad. I'd like to know her name."
She nodded, processing the knowledge.
"It was hard not to think of you."
"The hair?"
"No, just wanting to be back here."
She nodded. "Can you accept that while I don't trust you right now, I do believe you?"
"If you can live with it, I certainly can. It's more than I deserve."
"No, no Severus. I'd say it's about right," her voice was still tight, and still smug, but there was just enough give there for him to hope.
"I'm going to bed, are you coming?" she asked, walking back towards the alcove.
"Allosia, I don't understand," he said.
"If I didn't want to trust you, if I didn't want to stay, do you think I'd be so angry with you?" she asked, looking at him over her shoulder, before disappearing behind the wall.
