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rmWhile by and large society is preoccupied with thinking about female bodies, body image and body ideals, we sure do suck at discussing it.
Probably because it's not very catchy to say something like "it's good for your body to be the size it wants to be at its healthiest and good for you to enjoy the flesh you're living in to the utmost." Especially when most of us don't get to be as healthy as we want -- I'm not, and I'm one of the lucky ones.
Plus, it's much, much catchier to say stuff like "real women have curves" or "there's something wrong with you if you're attracted to fat/thin/boyish/thick/curvy/WHATEVER chicks" or to rag on people for being a size 4 or a size 24.
You know what? It all sucks. And I know men don't escape either -- on height and hair and width of shoulders, timbre of voice and god knows what else, but I can only tackle so much at once.
I will be the first to admit that I enjoy privlege by being a skinny chick. I get that. I really do. But being skinny doesn't make me less female and being boyish doesn't make me less deserving of desire and none of it, if I'm lucky, have sense, and work hard, should effect my sense of worth as a person.
This is one of those things that I want to write eloquently about, but know I probably can't without pissing someone off in same way I really don't intend.
I shouldn't have to always follow up any discussion of my size with "but I have celiac disease, it's not like I try to look like this." I also shouldn't have to deal with people, including medical professionals, assuming I have eating disorders because that's somehow easier than actually speaking to me.
I look the way I look. I happen to like it. It's probably a product of my celiac disease, other medical stuff and the fact that I danced 8-hours a day during large chunks of my childhood and work out like a maniac now because fencing owns me. I hope that I enjoy myself enough in general that I'd like the way I looked even if I were an entirely different size. I don't know. Given our society, I can't imagine I'd get away angst free. Hell, I barely, barely get away angst free now. After all, I'm making this post.
Because I believe in the fictional life, the self-created life, the multiple life, I'm not sure I know what a real anyone is. I'm certainly not going to sit here and say what a real woman or man or person is. I'm happily a bit fictional, but it isn't because I wear a size four.
We should be able to talk about our bodies without judging each other. We should be able to talk about what we desire without judging each other (who here has heard or intuited some version of "I want you so bad, but my friends wouldn't understand?" or been told that they can "do better" because the person they loved and thought was sexy beyond all sexy wasn't mainstream hot?).
I'm very happy in my very strangely fluid life. And if you don't think I'm a real woman, that's all well and good. But it's not because of my goddamn size.
Probably because it's not very catchy to say something like "it's good for your body to be the size it wants to be at its healthiest and good for you to enjoy the flesh you're living in to the utmost." Especially when most of us don't get to be as healthy as we want -- I'm not, and I'm one of the lucky ones.
Plus, it's much, much catchier to say stuff like "real women have curves" or "there's something wrong with you if you're attracted to fat/thin/boyish/thick/curvy/WHATEVER chicks" or to rag on people for being a size 4 or a size 24.
You know what? It all sucks. And I know men don't escape either -- on height and hair and width of shoulders, timbre of voice and god knows what else, but I can only tackle so much at once.
I will be the first to admit that I enjoy privlege by being a skinny chick. I get that. I really do. But being skinny doesn't make me less female and being boyish doesn't make me less deserving of desire and none of it, if I'm lucky, have sense, and work hard, should effect my sense of worth as a person.
This is one of those things that I want to write eloquently about, but know I probably can't without pissing someone off in same way I really don't intend.
I shouldn't have to always follow up any discussion of my size with "but I have celiac disease, it's not like I try to look like this." I also shouldn't have to deal with people, including medical professionals, assuming I have eating disorders because that's somehow easier than actually speaking to me.
I look the way I look. I happen to like it. It's probably a product of my celiac disease, other medical stuff and the fact that I danced 8-hours a day during large chunks of my childhood and work out like a maniac now because fencing owns me. I hope that I enjoy myself enough in general that I'd like the way I looked even if I were an entirely different size. I don't know. Given our society, I can't imagine I'd get away angst free. Hell, I barely, barely get away angst free now. After all, I'm making this post.
Because I believe in the fictional life, the self-created life, the multiple life, I'm not sure I know what a real anyone is. I'm certainly not going to sit here and say what a real woman or man or person is. I'm happily a bit fictional, but it isn't because I wear a size four.
We should be able to talk about our bodies without judging each other. We should be able to talk about what we desire without judging each other (who here has heard or intuited some version of "I want you so bad, but my friends wouldn't understand?" or been told that they can "do better" because the person they loved and thought was sexy beyond all sexy wasn't mainstream hot?).
I'm very happy in my very strangely fluid life. And if you don't think I'm a real woman, that's all well and good. But it's not because of my goddamn size.
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-28 07:17 pm (UTC)There is much I love about my body at any size. There is much I love about women's bodies at any size. I love the diverseness of how we are all built and how fantastically it looks on anyone who will just wear themselves with some comfortability.
There are two things I hate about being "larger" people including doctors telling me I'm fat. The doctor thing actually bothers me the most. My cholesterol is good as well as my blood pressure, thyroid, glucose levels, etc. You name it my tests say I'm in good shape, but my doctor tells me I have to be at a weight that puts me at a size 8 or smaller. I truly don't understand that math.
Then there is me not being able to talk about my extra weight. People either just freeze up or deny I have extra pounds on me if I talk about it. As if anybody admits in front of me, the truth of what I am saying and we all might explode. Hello people! I am not my body and when we all deny me the right to talk about it truthfully it makes me feel invisible!
I have long said that the first thing I would do with too much money is start a national billboard and commercial campaign called _This Is What a Woman Looks Like_ and it would have beautiful pictures of all of my friends, in all of their beauty. The tall, thick, robust ones, the short ones, the skinny ones, all of them together for a portrait of womanhood.