(no subject)

[rm]

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry

This article is hateful and crazy. Which is a shame, as buried deep within it are so good points regarding not dating people based on their resumes and the importance of partnership and not just passion.

But it's entirely hateful.

Comments

[saltbox.livejournal.com]

Wow, you weren't kidding about its hatefulness. I wanted to throttle the author.

First off, her statements about all women "really" wanting to be married and have children were disturbing--and counterproductive to professional parity for women. I am fairly certain that I am not deluding myself when I say I am not striving to be married and have children. There are women out here (like me!) with plenty of other metrics by which we judge ourselves. Like, say, career.[*] To the extent that she suggests that women's "real" urges are to have children, she places an additional hurdle to women pursuing professional success, because not only are they facing traditional workplace barriers, but also suggestions that they are "self-delusional".

The author is also assuming there are no problems on the male end in the hetero-dating world she is addressing. I knew plenty of quite successful single female attorneys who have had significant problems even dating men that the author would consider "settling material", not because *they* didn't want to, but because those men were opposed (and even stated their opposition!) to being in a long-term relationship with a woman who was more professionally successful than them. So to the extent that the author seems to be placing most of the responsibility for few "women-settling" type relationships existing, I think she is factually incorrect as to the weight of the contributing factors.

[*] This is not to say that the career-focused approach is normatively better--I'm starting to get sick of it myself--but that it is a "real" one versus a delusional one. Another example of a non-marriage/baby metric that is also not career-focused contributing to social justice. Or producing creative works. Take your pick.