emo, but true
Mar. 24th, 2008 11:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmI have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I am not ambitious because I'm ambitious, but because I'm afraid if I fail no one will love me.
My ambition has gotten very big in the last few years, and I've done very well with it, but I've had a hard couple of weeks, and I'm not in the best state.
Patty, however, aside from being kind, helpful, reasonable, good, and all teh stuff I don't talk to you all about, FOUND MY MISSING PASSPORT.
That's one huge nightmare off my plate.
Seriously though, you can never be too old to have a "guess I'm not the person I thought I was" moment, but it's so damn taxing.
My ambition has gotten very big in the last few years, and I've done very well with it, but I've had a hard couple of weeks, and I'm not in the best state.
Patty, however, aside from being kind, helpful, reasonable, good, and all teh stuff I don't talk to you all about, FOUND MY MISSING PASSPORT.
That's one huge nightmare off my plate.
Seriously though, you can never be too old to have a "guess I'm not the person I thought I was" moment, but it's so damn taxing.
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-25 05:06 am (UTC)Probably.
But, probably I am anything because I hope to be loved. Maybe I become because I hope that if I were not myself and I came upon myself, I would love myself. And there is that little almost-guilty hope that I would be loved as well, by more than myself. Is it emo to be afraid one will be unloved, to want to be loved?
I am still looking forward to getting to know you better, because your thoughts and experiences are intriguing, with or without success.
edit: Obviously, we are feeling emo, if true, ourselves. of late. that is just the way it is sometimes.