emo, but true

[rm]

I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I am not ambitious because I'm ambitious, but because I'm afraid if I fail no one will love me.

My ambition has gotten very big in the last few years, and I've done very well with it, but I've had a hard couple of weeks, and I'm not in the best state.

Patty, however, aside from being kind, helpful, reasonable, good, and all teh stuff I don't talk to you all about, FOUND MY MISSING PASSPORT.

That's one huge nightmare off my plate.

Seriously though, you can never be too old to have a "guess I'm not the person I thought I was" moment, but it's so damn taxing.

Comments

[asa-dachi.livejournal.com]

I think my fiance suffers from the same sort of 'ambitions'. Stems from a mother who, at every opportunity to congratulate her, instead took the time to tell her what she could have done better or why she was still nothing special.

Example - she got a free ride through her Masters and PhD at Rice. Her mom's response: Why do you have to go so far away?

Oddly enough, I have to occasionally ask her to plan in some down time. So I think she's 'getting' that she doesn't need to 'accomplish' to impress me or retain my affections.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

My mom has pretty directly copped to specifically using this strategy to help my (otherwise sort of passive) sister 'succeed'. When she was exposed to more modern parenting models, she did tell me that this was what she had been taught, that you have to push children so that they don't go wrong. It helped me understand her with more compassion, and when she worked in childcare she would explain to other women from cultures more like hers about how 'you can't treat the kids like that here' (ie, helped the other women adjust to 'new' ways), which I thought was sort of sweet.