small success/big failure

[rm]

1. I got invited to be on a panel at San Diego Comic Con. In the world of what I do, I think this is a big deal, but logistically it may not be feasible.

2. I was rejected from graduate school. Perhaps my senteces were too long, my life too ridiculous, my elitism too distasteful or perhaps the fact that I am good at and successful at several things made them decide I am a dilletante. Although I am supposed to consider the possibility that my work just sucks, I'm actually rather certain it doesn't.


Good things about not getting into grad school:
- my fencing training faces no interruption (this is actually really important and serious, and may now be how I can broach aspects of this topic with the Maestri).
- I do not need to make yet more money appear out of nowhere
- no further opportunity to be embittered by beaurocracy
- more Patty time
- can still hold teas as demure faculty wife



Bad things about not getting into grad school:
- Severus Snape hates me (oh god, it took that bit of black humour to make me cry? for real?)
- I can't teach
- Confirmation that my friends are smarter than me
- Confirmation that my go go party life-style when I was 17 WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER
- Confirmation that all the horrible things people say about me are true (well, not really, but that's part of the grieving process)
- The letter really could have waited until Patty got home


Also the letter reminding me that admissions are extremely copetitive, as if that's supposed to make me feel better or remind me that I may have perhaps shot too high? Sorry, no. I get my name in the credits of a feature film this year. My second book will be published this year. I know extremely competitive, and no matter how competitive Hunter is, puh-lease.

But! I have stuff to do, literally, no time to react to this now, which is good, as there will be no repeat of the Great Fashion Show breakdown.

Comments

[kalyx.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that you were rejected. I doubt it really means anything, but you have to remember that there is inherent sexism and ageism in these things. I remember hearing that anyone over 30 have a slim chance of getting into medical school. The reasoning given was that the applicant would be "too old" to do anything with the degree once it was granted. I suspect this is probably true for graduate school in general.

I suspect that if I were to decide to go back to grad school (I stopped short of a PhD for personal/medical/health reasons), I would have very little chance of getting in just because of my age (35). That might be the only reason you were declined.

I also applied to a zillion programs and got into 2. I ended up moving to the midwest for grad school because the prestigious schools (ones on the coats) didn't want me.

And now I'm babbling... but my advice is to skip grad school. It is hell on earth. And success seems to be more about luck than anything else. At least that was my experience. I do great in the classes, but working with committees, advisers, research projects, and getting any mentorship... yeah, none of that went well at all.

[kalyx.livejournal.com]

something else occurred to me. A friend applied for a fine art MFA and was rejected. He spoke to the department about it and the reason was that his work was too advanced. he was already developed as an artist, so the program decided they could do nothing for him.

You could always harass them to find out why so that you can make yourself look better for next year.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

"Admissions are extremely competitive" - trust me, it's true. Everybody and their housecat is applying for MFA's these days. I know. Published fiction writers are applying, so they can teach. Scared 21 yr olds are applying, so they don't have to get jobs (or so they can get one novel published to make their teacher look good, before they realize what you already know about how hard a life in the arts can be and give up and go to law school) . . . . . Being on the Admissions committee must be a real nightmare. Even for last year's Clarion we turned down a bunch of applicants who wouldahve been fine, because we only had 19 places to offer. You might well want to apply again next year. It could be that simple.