small success/big failure

[rm]

1. I got invited to be on a panel at San Diego Comic Con. In the world of what I do, I think this is a big deal, but logistically it may not be feasible.

2. I was rejected from graduate school. Perhaps my senteces were too long, my life too ridiculous, my elitism too distasteful or perhaps the fact that I am good at and successful at several things made them decide I am a dilletante. Although I am supposed to consider the possibility that my work just sucks, I'm actually rather certain it doesn't.


Good things about not getting into grad school:
- my fencing training faces no interruption (this is actually really important and serious, and may now be how I can broach aspects of this topic with the Maestri).
- I do not need to make yet more money appear out of nowhere
- no further opportunity to be embittered by beaurocracy
- more Patty time
- can still hold teas as demure faculty wife



Bad things about not getting into grad school:
- Severus Snape hates me (oh god, it took that bit of black humour to make me cry? for real?)
- I can't teach
- Confirmation that my friends are smarter than me
- Confirmation that my go go party life-style when I was 17 WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER
- Confirmation that all the horrible things people say about me are true (well, not really, but that's part of the grieving process)
- The letter really could have waited until Patty got home


Also the letter reminding me that admissions are extremely copetitive, as if that's supposed to make me feel better or remind me that I may have perhaps shot too high? Sorry, no. I get my name in the credits of a feature film this year. My second book will be published this year. I know extremely competitive, and no matter how competitive Hunter is, puh-lease.

But! I have stuff to do, literally, no time to react to this now, which is good, as there will be no repeat of the Great Fashion Show breakdown.

Comments

[shayguevara.livejournal.com]

I feel for you, my friend. As a fellow graduate school rejectee, it took me a couple of years to see that I was probably better off not going. You may or may not come to this conclusion, but take comfort in the fact that the admissions process is SO SUBJECTIVE and it may be something as stupid as "we have too many students with M last names this year". It really is a crap shoot. And who ever said that grad school is full of smart people? Not to discredit your friends at all -- simply, I know many people with graduate degrees (of a wide variety)...I am just as smart as, if not smarter than, them. And so are you!

You have accomplished so much -- much more than is in your little list posted. Be proud of who you are and what you have done!