small success/big failure

[rm]

1. I got invited to be on a panel at San Diego Comic Con. In the world of what I do, I think this is a big deal, but logistically it may not be feasible.

2. I was rejected from graduate school. Perhaps my senteces were too long, my life too ridiculous, my elitism too distasteful or perhaps the fact that I am good at and successful at several things made them decide I am a dilletante. Although I am supposed to consider the possibility that my work just sucks, I'm actually rather certain it doesn't.


Good things about not getting into grad school:
- my fencing training faces no interruption (this is actually really important and serious, and may now be how I can broach aspects of this topic with the Maestri).
- I do not need to make yet more money appear out of nowhere
- no further opportunity to be embittered by beaurocracy
- more Patty time
- can still hold teas as demure faculty wife



Bad things about not getting into grad school:
- Severus Snape hates me (oh god, it took that bit of black humour to make me cry? for real?)
- I can't teach
- Confirmation that my friends are smarter than me
- Confirmation that my go go party life-style when I was 17 WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER
- Confirmation that all the horrible things people say about me are true (well, not really, but that's part of the grieving process)
- The letter really could have waited until Patty got home


Also the letter reminding me that admissions are extremely copetitive, as if that's supposed to make me feel better or remind me that I may have perhaps shot too high? Sorry, no. I get my name in the credits of a feature film this year. My second book will be published this year. I know extremely competitive, and no matter how competitive Hunter is, puh-lease.

But! I have stuff to do, literally, no time to react to this now, which is good, as there will be no repeat of the Great Fashion Show breakdown.

Comments

[saltbox.livejournal.com]

Cf. Jones, supra note 2, at 353-63 (discussing analogous approaches for regulatory agencies to address scientific uncertainty in their decisionmaking processes).

Ditto. I've done grad school admissions and undergrad admissions, and it's a hard process, and those rejected shouldn't take it personally. It's rarely about any individual candidate, and more about the overall applicant pool and how many slots the school has have and who they have the financial and professional capacities to let in and what mix of students the school happens to want that particular year. You could be a perfectly wonderful candidate and someone with slightly better stats in your same "category" might apply and you would be out of luck. It sucks, but that's how fortune (and misfortune) comes in.

I'm not trying to make light of this. This is exactly what I told (and meant) to D, who also applied to (one) grad school this year and didn't get in. He had great stats (in terms of test scores, grades, etc), good recommendations though not a relevant undergrad major. He kept kicking himself for maybe having a sucky essay. But I bet more likely it was just a hard mix this year. (Over two hundred applicants, and only five openings.) And I bet that's the case with you as well.

But it sucks. I saw my own partner go through this, and felt really bad.